Martinique78

All of what you are saying I feel is true as well and I called her out on it yesterday and she broke down crying saying that she knows here reasons for not stopping it so we could all eventually become friends was completely illogical and she knows that now. She kept sayig that she was so messed up during the month that things were going on and that I really shouldn't quote her on things she said that night of the affair because after a certain point she was so wasted that she doesn't really remember a whole lot but she was trying to to aid in my questioning.

She said it was a side of her that she has never seen before and never wants to see again. I asked her if she was so sure about that would you be willing to sign a contract stating that if anything like this ever happens again that you release full custody of our kids to me and we get a divorce. I knew that was the only real thing she cared about loosing. She told me yes, that's how much she plans to change.

She told me she never wanted to hurt me like this and she's willing to do anything to make it up to me and regain my trust.

keko

Tanslation? Just sweep it under the rug and forget about it.


For that month? Given her past and behavior I wouldn't rule out other affair's that you weren't able to catch. Only the month you caught her.

Martinique78

She really hasn't been like this with me in the past. I knew her past was pretty wild and she was very loyal to me. After the kids things changed. She was unhappy all the time, no confidence in herself and I was working all the time. She got on this medication and even I noticed she wasn't the same person but I was happy the she was happy again. I think the medication only covered up the real problem and they were always there. Now her medication has been upped and she is also now on Abilify. I found out recently from her mom that depression runs in the family and it's been so serious that there have been a few talks about suicide. She told me that when she was talking to my wife on the phone after everything came out that she sounded just like her aunt who had talked about suicide, with the things she was saying about not being able to go on knowing what she did.

I'm just so confused and I keep going back to she was just being a *****...but then I'm like what if things were really that screwed up for her. I don't know the truth from a hole in the wall right now and i'm just so drained from living in limbo. I know everything is still fresh but i'm just so impatient and I just need something to happen...and soon.

Count of Monte Cristo

She probably knows that even a mediocre lawyer could blow holes in that contract and make it null and void.

aug

So she went back to her old ways?

lovelygirl

See??? I just don't get it what's so effing wrong with these cheating people.

They tell you they didn't wanna hurt you yet they couldn't stop the hurt they were causing you.

Senseless!!!

It's not that she didn't wanna hurt you. SHE DID IT BECAUSE SHE FELT LIKE DOING IT, wanted to satisfy herself and that's it!

__________________
Shaggy: Men of integrity don't have affairs. They don't have affairs not because there aren't other wonderful women out there besides their wives, they don't have affairs because as men of integrity they choose not to.

warlock07

What about making you feel crazy and take medication for the suspicions? That part was entirely intentional and she wasn't drunk. I think this was even worse than the infidelity. You now know what she is capable of of when you corner her. How do you plan to get over something like that?

iheartlife

Has she ever admitted to you that she just liked his attention, plain and simple? That she found him attractive and it made her feel special? Why does she have to warp this into some convoluted explanation about meds, and alcohol, and being messed up, and depression running in the family?

Did she sound depressed and suicidal to you on the VAR?

It is so dang frustrating how the cheater's mind works. All you want is the truth.

I just wonder how many times she needs to hear, "it's not the sex, IT'S THE LIES" before she will internalize it and live it.

bandit.45

This was the worst part of the betrayal. This is who your wife really is.

iheartlife

yea. that is pretty f'd up.