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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 04-26-2012, 09:10 AM   #136 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I be worried?

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Originally Posted by keko View Post
One thing I don't get is she gave up a steady marriage, good husband, house for a sex parties. She probably doesn't even have any real savings or retirement. Can't people in these situations see just a few years ahead? What will happen to them? That they're being used and will be thrown out sooner or later.
A lot of *****s live for the moment. Nothing sadder then an old one. They'll dump the skank as she ages.
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Old 04-26-2012, 09:57 AM   #137 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I be worried?

Quote:
Originally Posted by keko View Post
One thing I don't get is she gave up a steady marriage, good husband, house for a sex parties. She probably doesn't even have any real savings or retirement. Can't people in these situations see just a few years ahead? What will happen to them? That they're being used and will be thrown out sooner or later.
Oh I get it completely. He explained it. He gained a lot of weight, had some health problems. Her sex rank stayed really high - it was no longer a match for his. She saw this - others maybe even said, "THAT's your husband?". It got in her head.

Also, she's a freaking waitress. What retirement? She probably sees this lifestyle as a way to save money for a few years. More than she would have any other way. These swingers are rich, they'll take care of her, even for awhile, while she socks it away.

It's not that hard to see how that could happen. The issue isn't logic. It's morality, loyalty and love, which this person has zero of.
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Old 04-26-2012, 10:07 AM   #138 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I be worried?

Although she denies it, she's nothing more than a prostitute.

And that initiation night? Probably a gang bang. I would continue with a PI, expose the whole group. The good thing is the house in in your name, no kids, finances already separated. She's not the person you married, not anymore. The person you married died a long time ago. Kick this new person to the curb.
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Old 04-26-2012, 10:17 AM   #139 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I be worried?

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Oh I get it completely. He explained it. He gained a lot of weight, had some health problems. Her sex rank stayed really high - it was no longer a match for his. She saw this - others maybe even said, "THAT's your husband?". It got in her head.

Also, she's a freaking waitress. What retirement? She probably sees this lifestyle as a way to save money for a few years. More than she would have any other way. These swingers are rich, they'll take care of her, even for awhile, while she socks it away.

It's not that hard to see how that could happen. The issue isn't logic. It's morality, loyalty and love, which this person has zero of.
Yes, the sex rank changed. Plus her job subjected her boundaries to a continuous assault, night after night. Eventually the boundaries eroded, and she rationalized what she was doing. It's easy to see how a person with weak character could fall into her behavior.
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Old 04-26-2012, 10:58 AM   #140 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I be worried?

Not that it really matters but the initiation night most certainly was a gang bang of sorts, probably involving some nasty, degrading, or kinky stuff.

OP, remind yourself that your wife is now a prostitute. She is a hore, plain and simple. She traded in her marriage and relationship to be banged by a group of people in exchange for travel and an apartment. She sold her dignity for some material goods. I say remind yourself of that because you don't want that type of woman, and there are plenty of woman out there with actual morals who you will meet.

You're obviously in alot of pain so one way I would recommend dealing with it is through physical excercise. For men especially, excercising, moving, keeping busy is a great way to deal with the pain. It also has the added benefit and making you look and feel better.

In time when the pain subsides you might want to read some books like Married Men Sex Life Primer and other books that deal with how to be the kind of man that attracts and keeps hot, faithful women. No you no longer are in a marriage, thats in a rut or otherwise, for whom the book is explicitly intended, but its content is very applicable and useful for any guy at any stage. Her becoming a hore is not your fault. She made her own unscrupulous decisions. However, from the sounds of it you let yourself go a bit and that likely made it more likely for her to look elsewhere. (Reading the book now and it's got such great insight). Anyways, all in due time.

Take care of yourself dude. You're in a world of hurt as many here have been before you. Detach yourself from this woman as much and quickly as you can, hang out and be with your friends and family, confide in them, HAVE FUN with them, it will help get your mind of it as best you can. And take care of yourself. Starting working out alot, join some sport teams, take up a martial arts etc. It will help immensely. And eat better as well. You're shell shocked right now so you need to do these things to be to deal with them, both physically and emotionally. Take charge, don't be passive and let this whole situation continue to affect you. Be your own man and deal with it on your own terms as much as possible.

Come here to vent as well, it's a great support group. Good luck

Last edited by brokenbloke; 04-26-2012 at 11:03 AM.
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Old 04-26-2012, 12:06 PM   #141 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by MrK View Post
I know we all agreed to not do this any more, but...

From being a little paranoid about a new gym membership to uncovering a huge secret swinging lifestyle, just 3 1/2 days later? With full admission of an "initiation" night? There were even a couple of mentions of Penthouse Forum stories.
That occurred to me, also, but in the spirit of giving him the benefit of the doubt, I didn't think I'd post it. Thanks to you for saying what I was thinking.
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Old 04-26-2012, 12:40 PM   #142 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I be worried?

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Originally Posted by brokenbloke View Post
Not that it really matters but the initiation night most certainly was a gang bang of sorts, probably involving some nasty, degrading, or kinky stuff.

OP, remind yourself that your wife is now a prostitute. She is a hore, plain and simple. She traded in her marriage and relationship to be banged by a group of people in exchange for travel and an apartment. She sold her dignity for some material goods. I say remind yourself of that because you don't want that type of woman, and there are plenty of woman out there with actual morals who you will meet.

You're obviously in alot of pain so one way I would recommend dealing with it is through physical excercise. For men especially, excercising, moving, keeping busy is a great way to deal with the pain. It also has the added benefit and making you look and feel better.

In time when the pain subsides you might want to read some books like Married Men Sex Life Primer and other books that deal with how to be the kind of man that attracts and keeps hot, faithful women. No you no longer are in a marriage, thats in a rut or otherwise, for whom the book is explicitly intended, but its content is very applicable and useful for any guy at any stage. Her becoming a hore is not your fault. She made her own unscrupulous decisions. However, from the sounds of it you let yourself go a bit and that likely made it more likely for her to look elsewhere. (Reading the book now and it's got such great insight). Anyways, all in due time.

Take care of yourself dude. You're in a world of hurt as many here have been before you. Detach yourself from this woman as much and quickly as you can, hang out and be with your friends and family, confide in them, HAVE FUN with them, it will help get your mind of it as best you can. And take care of yourself. Starting working out alot, join some sport teams, take up a martial arts etc. It will help immensely. And eat better as well. You're shell shocked right now so you need to do these things to be to deal with them, both physically and emotionally. Take charge, don't be passive and let this whole situation continue to affect you. Be your own man and deal with it on your own terms as much as possible.

Come here to vent as well, it's a great support group. Good luck
Also not that it matters it is hard to beleive one would overnight go from faithful wifey to being gang banged. I could be wrong. Just saying this was probably a lifestyle change that involved other forms of infidelity along the way much earlier than this.
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Old 04-26-2012, 12:51 PM   #143 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I be worried?

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Originally Posted by killthecheaters View Post
your life will be better ... and her she will die with all of her BF's and OM .. in horrible ways .. her mother is a ***** .. and also parents all the guys she slept are ***** and ******* .. they will die horribly soon.
Huh?

Wishing death on others is never a good idea. Also, you know nothing about this woman's parents to be making those kinds of statements.
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Old 04-26-2012, 01:11 PM   #144 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I be worried?

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i wasn't even going to post tonight, but it is like writing in my journal and very cathartic. Very, very emotional day. My world has dropped out from under me and i have that free falling sensation going on. I wish what happened was a story, but my god it is FOR REAL!!! I never thought this crap could happen, but many of you and some of my IRL friends guessed it. I knew something was going on, but I never ever would have. You just dont ever think this stuff is for real, going on all around you.

I'll start with the good.

Friends that stand by you during your worst nightmare are priceless. God bless them all.

A house I own because my parents gave it to me when they retired and insisted it remain in my name only. Now I know why. If you think she will fight for it, keep going.

Separate bank accounts because of her tips. We even filed separately because of that.

Most waitresses really are good women. My STBExW and her little group are the exception. Remember one of the waitresses is helping us from her work, and she even called me when my STBExW failed to show for work today. She will call me everyday to make sure i'm ok.

I now have room in my house for a home gym!! Have to smile at something, right?

STBExW's confession.

The bad.

She slept in our house last night, left for work around 1o, waited and circled back in an hour later when we were there packing and changing locks. A very Oh ****! moment. She wanted to know why I didn't come home. I told her why with 3 letters and 3 numbers--BMW 750.

She called her boyfriend to get him to come and help. She used a cell i have never seen before. He wisely stayed away when she said I had friends with me. One of my boys even grabbed the cell and unleashed a mix of profanity I never heard from him before to her BF. I can't thank my boy enough. He even got scratched by the *****.

The VAR cannot be recovered.

She blames ME for everything.

STBExW's confession.




So, we got caught and it was ugly as soon as she got out of her car. Screaming, yelling, swear words everywhere, tears and just honest crying because of what we were doing. We moved the argument inside to avoid police attention.

Inside I listened, my friends questioned bc there was no way i could speak clearly or confidently. We showed her the cell pics of her, the plate info from the BMW, the address to the house she went to, and we gave her a description of her activities including times. I wanted to throw up, still do actually. Anyways, she caved in right there, and said it was all my fault. Because of my weight and health, she became disgusted with me and started to see other men about 2 years ago.

This is very difficult. I need to breathe and step away and come back as i write.

She said it started with drinks and petting at local bars, moved to ONS, and then a few BFs. All of this during my day time work hours in the morning or her girls night out, and never at our home. Late last year a BF of one of her Toxic friends asked her out bc he knew about her girls night out habits. She dated that couple to try something new. They in turn introduced her to a swingers club. If you guessed swinger, well there it is.

We asked if she was a hooker or escort. No. What else did she try? Just about everything. Protection? Not used in the club. She said her initiation night would kill me, and i I agreed to let that one stay quiet.

She said the club is very protective and they all get tested a couple times a year. Because I was not in this, they were pressuring her to drop me or leave the club. She wanted in and said some of the perks are help from other members. They apparantly have lawyers in the club, and doctors. She was planning to leave me very soon.

We asked her why she wanted in? They have a system for single women there. They sign up for what they will do, for how long, and with whom. She is going to be the girlfriend of that older couple for a year and in return get travel, an apartment, clothing, you get the picture. I guess they call it Sugar Daddy.

Anyways, she will not contest since she already started to file for D because of my health. She doesn't want anything from me except her things, which i allowed her to go through the house and have packed. I indicated that if she tries to gouge me that all these details she shared will come out in a new filing.

I really don't care what she does anymore, she is out of my house and soon out of my life.

Enough rambling, and i'm so tired.
Just catching up here. Yes she was passed around and was viewed for all to see. Yes in gang bang style. Drugs no doubt as well. Probably was involved in everything imaginable.

Anyway, yeah this validates my feeling that this did not happen over night.

This is very much EYES WIDE SHUT. Certainly more crude but the same idea.

Sorry dude. In a way this makes it easier to make the break. Not any real middle ground here.
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Last edited by Entropy3000; 04-26-2012 at 01:48 PM.
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Old 04-26-2012, 01:50 PM   #145 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I be worried?

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Also not that it matters it is hard to beleive one would overnight go from faithful wifey to being gang banged. I could be wrong. Just saying this was probably a lifestyle change that involved other forms of infidelity along the way much earlier than this.
No question about it. When I was much younger and single a married woman asked me to get into an aspect of this so-called "lifestyle" with her. I had zero interest in it for myself, but I was curious as to how a previously Christian woman could get into it. The answer: baby steps.

It's the rationalization hamster doing its thing.
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Old 04-26-2012, 02:00 PM   #146 (permalink)
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Poor guy.

This is awful. I'm staying off this thread folks.
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Old 04-26-2012, 02:06 PM   #147 (permalink)
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Hey,

Why don't you give a local TV reporter a call and expose this swingers club.........a station in my area did a 3 part report on a local club/members......fun to watch........the reporter won a regional emmy.
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Old 04-26-2012, 02:07 PM   #148 (permalink)
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Holly **** :-(

Damn i wish this was troll thread..:-(
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Old 04-26-2012, 02:13 PM   #149 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I be worried?

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Not that it really matters but the initiation night most certainly was a gang bang of sorts, probably involving some nasty, degrading, or kinky stuff.
Yeah, your right that it doesn't really matter, but I think we've all thought about initiation night and came up with our own fantasies...er,..uhm..I mean...uh...CONCLUSION, yeah...that's it; intillectual analytical conclusion of what went on. How it pertains to the story, I mean.

And yes, my "conclusion" included a gang-bang, now that you mention it. And some toys. And a really big snake.

Not that it matters.
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Old 04-26-2012, 03:31 PM   #150 (permalink)
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So you should expose this sex club wide and far. Call the local media, they love this kind of story.

Start a blog and post the photos you have of it.

Print a flyer with the photos and the story and mail it to all the houses in the neighborhood. This will expose it to the neighborhood nicely. I mean the houses in the neighborhood of the place she went in the BMW too.

If you can find where she's living now, do the same to the neighborhood there. These sex club people are very sick people and the neighbors need to know what kind of people are living near them

Her happy sex club world will come crashing down and they will dump her for being the one to cause it.

Find who the OM is and expose to his clients and employer.

Oh, and she likely has a nice fat bank account someplace with lots of cash in it. Get your lawyer to go find it and go after it.



Do not tell her you are don't it, just expose it. Do it tomorrow.
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