Thanks to all of the advice. Like a map in all the chaos, rly helps.
I checked the phone records, lots of calls to the usual friends. Even the Toxic ones, but no unusual patterns. btw not a iphone.
Income is variable bc of tips, so hard to track that except for end of year tax stuff. Also it is 99% of time given as cash or added to bill and taken from drawer, again as cash. No way of nowing how much on her at any given time, but can be several hundred.
No gps in cars.
I hve also started checking her clothing for signs since i do the laundry. nothing yet.
I did check her bags though. No condoms or toys, but perhaps worse in that i found bc pills.
She has used these before, but usually tells me when and we have not been very active lately due to my health. This feels like a kick in the groin.
I bought a recorder today after finding the pills and will put it in by morning in her car.
After last night dinner, we talked about her away from home so much, my health, her Toxifriends. She says not to worry, but surprised me by saying we will go to MC in two weeks or so, just needs to find a provider through work insurance. This caught me by total surprise bc she never got defensive or angry, just said the answers wil come where there is a third party to be there with us. This seems too easy, and she was too cool about it while i was a mess inside.
I also have to say she is a very striking beauty, so guys hitting on her anywhere and anytime is the norm. Dirty blond and shaped like a barbi doll will make guys bold.
Today i got called by one of her coworkers who found a young waitress to spy for us. She will ask about which gym, and spend the next several days finding out more. this seems the best way for now. the friend called bc my wife was flirting heavily with a group of guys-about 12 of them!-joking about buying her drinks or getting a room for her break time or after work. very much against policy and decided to bring in spy before contacting personell department to try and catch the whole Toxifrinds group if possible. my wife was all smiles the whole time and they were hugging and touching her.
Coworker says she feels for me and to prepare for possibly worst news possible during MC meeting. It hurts, but i feel the need to start gaining some distance
PS--sorry about the horrible typing, but i'm just not myself right now