Oh I guess there may be toxic friends, but hey she is a c0cktail waitress in Vegas. Has been for many years. She may have moved up to Bottle Hostess as was suggested. How many times a day do you think she gets pawed on and offered money by folks he feel they can buy people? Some men feel that the hostess comes with the price. For all we know she pursued this lifestyle on her own. I do agree having escorts and pimps as friends would be toxic. Thinking she went into this eye wide open ( yes it reminds me of the movie Eyes Wide Shut ).
Have a drink, relax, be alone with your thoughts. Make some phone calls to price lawyers and see what the next step is. You want to be methodical in your approach and firm. And though you have a smoking gun, be prepared for her to sell you any line of bullsh*t that makes it seem OK or blows what you thought you saw to bits.
I say this because you're going to have to be strong within before you confront her. So many guys get themselves hyped up like "F*ck that b*tch, it's over!" when they find out some info. But as soon as they confront, she manipulates or deflects and the guy turns back into a teddy bear. Know what you know and deal with yourself within before you make a move. That will prevent you from playing yourself.
Very possible that this is just the house for that night. Her pimp brought her to the party. She is the entertainment.
Is anyone surprised here?
Speaking as an old gigging guitar player, I would never allow my wife or serious girlfriend to work as a ****tail waitress or a barmaid. That's pretty much saying you're okay with your wife getting around. All the ****tail waitresses I ever knew were divorced, bar none.
What kind of relationship does your wife have with her folks? Gather more info on her activities and expose to the parents, if she has any, but have ironclad proof. Even though you're too much of a man to put up with her crap (I commend you on your decisive decision of immediate divorce) maybe her parents will be in a position to rescue her.
I don't think you need a PI for the divorce because you know all you need to know and this is a no kids, no assets, no-fault divorce. But a PI would be good to get ironclad evidence of her depravity to show her family. You may need a forensic accountant to find out where she has her cash stash, but the attorney will help you with that.
I guarantee you're getting ready to lose a lot of weight very fast. Take the opportunity to start hitting the weights at the same time 3X per week. Force yourself to eat protein even if you don't feel like eating, which you won't. This is a good opportunity to raise your sex rank. Not much of a silver lining, but I guess we take what we can get.
Its probably too late but I think you need to get a lot more info before you confront your wife. The info you have says a lot, but I would want to know who is invoved and if anything illegal is going on. Of course I would want a little revenge under most circumstances like these.
i wasn't even going to post tonight, but it is like writing in my journal and very cathartic. Very, very emotional day. My world has dropped out from under me and i have that free falling sensation going on. I wish what happened was a story, but my god it is FOR REAL!!! I never thought this crap could happen, but many of you and some of my IRL friends guessed it. I knew something was going on, but I never ever would have. You just dont ever think this stuff is for real, going on all around you.
I'll start with the good.
Friends that stand by you during your worst nightmare are priceless. God bless them all.
A house I own because my parents gave it to me when they retired and insisted it remain in my name only. Now I know why. If you think she will fight for it, keep going.
Separate bank accounts because of her tips. We even filed separately because of that.
Most waitresses really are good women. My STBExW and her little group are the exception. Remember one of the waitresses is helping us from her work, and she even called me when my STBExW failed to show for work today. She will call me everyday to make sure i'm ok.
I now have room in my house for a home gym!! Have to smile at something, right?
She slept in our house last night, left for work around 1o, waited and circled back in an hour later when we were there packing and changing locks. A very Oh ****! moment. She wanted to know why I didn't come home. I told her why with 3 letters and 3 numbers--BMW 750.
She called her boyfriend to get him to come and help. She used a cell i have never seen before. He wisely stayed away when she said I had friends with me. One of my boys even grabbed the cell and unleashed a mix of profanity I never heard from him before to her BF. I can't thank my boy enough. He even got scratched by the *****.
The VAR cannot be recovered.
She blames ME for everything.
So, we got caught and it was ugly as soon as she got out of her car. Screaming, yelling, swear words everywhere, tears and just honest crying because of what we were doing. We moved the argument inside to avoid police attention.
Inside I listened, my friends questioned bc there was no way i could speak clearly or confidently. We showed her the cell pics of her, the plate info from the BMW, the address to the house she went to, and we gave her a description of her activities including times. I wanted to throw up, still do actually. Anyways, she caved in right there, and said it was all my fault. Because of my weight and health, she became disgusted with me and started to see other men about 2 years ago.
This is very difficult. I need to breathe and step away and come back as i write.
She said it started with drinks and petting at local bars, moved to ONS, and then a few BFs. All of this during my day time work hours in the morning or her girls night out, and never at our home. Late last year a BF of one of her Toxic friends asked her out bc he knew about her girls night out habits. She dated that couple to try something new. They in turn introduced her to a swingers club. If you guessed swinger, well there it is.
We asked if she was a hooker or escort. No. What else did she try? Just about everything. Protection? Not used in the club. She said her initiation night would kill me, and i I agreed to let that one stay quiet.
She said the club is very protective and they all get tested a couple times a year. Because I was not in this, they were pressuring her to drop me or leave the club. She wanted in and said some of the perks are help from other members. They apparantly have lawyers in the club, and doctors. She was planning to leave me very soon.
We asked her why she wanted in? They have a system for single women there. They sign up for what they will do, for how long, and with whom. She is going to be the girlfriend of that older couple for a year and in return get travel, an apartment, clothing, you get the picture. I guess they call it Sugar Daddy.
Anyways, she will not contest since she already started to file for D because of my health. She doesn't want anything from me except her things, which i allowed her to go through the house and have packed. I indicated that if she tries to gouge me that all these details she shared will come out in a new filing.
I really don't care what she does anymore, she is out of my house and soon out of my life.
Man I feel for you. You are a much better man than me. BIG SHOTS HUH !! Man I would get a good camara with a good lens, and for the next while Stakeout the house taking pics, Then make POSTER of ALL The BIG SHOTS and POST THEM AS ADs for NEW MEMBERS To the CLUB. SHOWING THESE BIG SHOTS as LEADING MEMBERS of the SWINGERS CLUB as INCENTIVE. HANG THEM ON FENCES, LIGHT POSTS and anywhere I could. But I understand, you just want to move on. GOD BLESS Bro.