I can't give him what he needs! Help!

unbelievable · 04-24-2012, 03:53 AM

Poor joker. If a woman wasted five years of my life having an affair, I wouldn't spend more than 5 minutes listening to her excuses or explanations. I wouldn't give her another day of my life.

Initfortheduration · 04-24-2012, 09:34 AM

She wants to give him what he needs. He needs to divorce her skank ass, and get tested for HIV. Who knows whats crawling around in her.

Regret214 · 04-24-2012, 02:59 PM

I have read all of your posts and comments. While I do not agree with everyone, I have taken away some very valuable tools. And, I appreciate those that have provided me with insight. I have been providing my husband with all the details of my EA from the beginning, but needed a way to delve deeper in myself to provide him with answers to questions that I was struggling to find...not because I didn't want to or because I was scared, but because I had tried to lock them out. We have started a journal together and it has provided an opportunity to see in black and white what I did, but is also a great way to generate conversations. In addition, I am working on a timeline that has proved to trigger memories which I also share. Thank you to those who genuinely see hope in every situation.

jnj express · 04-24-2012, 03:19 PM

What was so wrong with your mge/Hus---that you had to have sex once a month with another man

You say it was for the sex---but every month for 5 yrs----there is more there than you wanna admit

What was so special about this guy and his sex, that made you do this for 5 yrs---or was it just cuz your H, knew nothing never suspected, and you obviously could do this, and get away with it---after awhile it must have also become boring just as your mge---the other guys sex organ, could not have been that much better than your H's---but then again only you would now.

How were you "outed"---and more importantly why did your monthly sexcapade even start up in the 1st place

Did you for some reason, think you were bettering you mge., and your sex life----WHY---deep down WHY

Why was it allowed to go on for 5 yrs---and had you not been outed would it still be going on

Tell us what was so terrible about your H---that you would do this to him??????

iheartlife · 04-24-2012, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Regret214

I have read all of your posts and comments. While I do not agree with everyone, I have taken away some very valuable tools. And, I appreciate those that have provided me with insight. I have been providing my husband with all the details of my EA from the beginning, but needed a way to delve deeper in myself to provide him with answers to questions that I was struggling to find...not because I didn't want to or because I was scared, but because I had tried to lock them out. We have started a journal together and it has provided an opportunity to see in black and white what I did, but is also a great way to generate conversations. In addition, I am working on a timeline that has proved to trigger memories which I also share. Thank you to those who genuinely see hope in every situation.

Have you read the book Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass. Your husband could read it with you. It would give you more insight into the overwhelming pain that he's feeling and how hard it is to work past this level of betrayal.

Beowulf · 04-24-2012, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Regret214

I have been providing my husband with all the details of my EA from the beginning, but needed a way to delve deeper in myself to provide him with answers to questions that I was struggling to find...not because I didn't want to or because I was scared, but because I had tried to lock them out.

You do realize that the reason you "locked them out" is precisely because you didn't want to remember and you are scared. You didn't want to remember because then you would feel unmerciful guilt. You are afraid of that one detail that triggers your husband and triggers the divorce. Its called trickle truth and you're not unique in utilizing it.