You must think that there is more to this than she is telling you because her actions show that there is a lot more to this. I suspect that she has hooked up with the OM.
i would first expose it to the OMW and the OM's family.
I would go dark on your WS. Don't respond to text's, calls, etc.
Get your finances in order. If the car is in her name don't pay the bill. Cut her off as much as you can. First, talk to your attorney about this.
Change the locks.
Do more with the kids. I mean a lot more. Don't be available with the kids at home so "mommy" can come in when ever, because you won't be there.
Things can change and your marriage could work out but it is all up to her. In the meantime look at it as she is gone. And live your life with your kids as if she is gone.
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This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.”
Do all that has been advised. File for divorce. do not tell her. Let her be served. Do not contact her. Pack her sh!t up and put it in storage. The first month will cost you one dollar. Then tell her she pays it. If she doesn't, tell her that you enjoy watching her storage unit, being auctioned off on one of the reality shows. She will most likely try to use the kids against you, to get you to pull out of the divorce.
My friend, up to now, you have been a doormat. Time to man up. If your kids confront you. Tell them, you gave it all you had. But that your mom is having sex with another guy, and you are through. Remember, you are teaching your children about marriage. Would you want the way you live now to be their example? To be someones doormat, to have no self respect, to give this as an inheritance to their kids? Whether you go through the divorce or not is based on whether her fog clears. I wouldn't wait.
Be careful what you say to the kids. They can turn on you. Mothers have a way with kids and I would be very careful what you say to them or what you allow them to hear you say. Kids can be very forgiving after the shock wears off. It is not right but keep in mind that mothers win the kids most of the time.
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This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.”
I'm going to see my lawyer Thursday about my support hearing coming up. I will ask him about filing for divorce. Also as for contacting the other mans wife I have no idea what her name is or how to contact her. They live out of town never meet either of them. I just know his name.
I also found out that he is in the army and just left for afganastan almost a month ago. Maybe thats why she is acting all nice and like nothing is wrong?
I'm going to see my lawyer Thursday about my support hearing coming up. I will ask him about filing for divorce. Also as for contacting the other mans wife I have no idea what her name is or how to contact her. They live out of town never meet either of them. I just know his name.
I also found out that he is in the army and just left for afganastan almost a month ago. Maybe thats why she is acting all nice and like nothing is wrong?
Check whitepages, zabasearch.com, spokeo and other people search sites to find phone numbers.
Well an update. I filled for child support and she showed up to the hearing with no layer. She tried to say he couldn't make it to the support officer but was caught in a lie when the officer said no your lawyer called here and said he wasn't coming because you never met with him. She instantly started crying and shaking!
I felt so bad but she is doing it to herself. She has so many lies going on she is starting to get caught up in them. So before the hearing she would act as if nothing was wrong. Walk in my house eat my food talk to me about stuff saying " we this" and "our and us" things that really confused me. It would keep my hopes up cause I would think she is thinking about us. Now after the hearing she wouldn't even talk to me.
So she was granted a week to meet with her lawyer and get things together and 2 weeks went by and nothing. My lawyer said she really has her priorities messed up! So the support office sent out a letter awarding me 634 a month she has to pay for my daughters braces and keep me and the kids on her insurance. She is also 1600 in the rears already. She has 20 days to appeal. I heard she had a breakdown and had to leave work early the day she received the letter. I'm glad she is feeling pain for what she put me through but I still love her and I feel bad.
I can't let my heart change my mind. She chose this and I have to worry about me and the kids. She did tell me that her lawyer advised her to try and work things out ourselves but all she did was threaten me again. Said "I'm willing to give you something now but if we goto court I'm fileing for custody and you will get nothing!" Then walked out of the house. Well that just made me mad. She didn't offer anything but threats. I was willing to work something out but I'm not begging! So since she wants to be a hard ass I sent the phone records to her boyfriends wife and I'm not doing my wife any favors working things out. She's digging her own grave!
But anyways I am doing much better. Feeling better about myself and getting happier. Reading others posts and advice along with my counselor, lawyer and family I am finding out it does get better and i'm on the right track. I'll keep ya posted on the hearing! I'm expecting divorce papers soon LOL. I heard she is so mad and frustrated cause she had it all figured out and it's not happening that way! Everyone is wrong the lawyer the support office etc. It really is starting to get alittle funny!
Well an update. I filled for child support and she showed up to the hearing with no layer. She tried to say he couldn't make it to the support officer but was caught in a lie when the officer said no your lawyer called here and said he wasn't coming because you never met with him. She instantly started crying and shaking!
I felt so bad but she is doing it to herself. She has so many lies going on she is starting to get caught up in them. So before the hearing she would act as if nothing was wrong. Walk in my house eat my food talk to me about stuff saying " we this" and "our and us" things that really confused me. It would keep my hopes up cause I would think she is thinking about us. Now after the hearing she wouldn't even talk to me.
So she was granted a week to meet with her lawyer and get things together and 2 weeks went by and nothing. My lawyer said she really has her priorities messed up! So the support office sent out a letter awarding me 634 a month she has to pay for my daughters braces and keep me and the kids on her insurance. She is also 1600 in the rears already. She has 20 days to appeal. I heard she had a breakdown and had to leave work early the day she received the letter. I'm glad she is feeling pain for what she put me through but I still love her and I feel bad.
I can't let my heart change my mind. She chose this and I have to worry about me and the kids. She did tell me that her lawyer advised her to try and work things out ourselves but all she did was threaten me again. Said "I'm willing to give you something now but if we goto court I'm fileing for custody and you will get nothing!" Then walked out of the house. Well that just made me mad. She didn't offer anything but threats. I was willing to work something out but I'm not begging! So since she wants to be a hard ass I sent the phone records to her boyfriends wife and I'm not doing my wife any favors working things out. She's digging her own grave!
But anyways I am doing much better. Feeling better about myself and getting happier. Reading others posts and advice along with my counselor, lawyer and family I am finding out it does get better and i'm on the right track. I'll keep ya posted on the hearing! I'm expecting divorce papers soon LOL. I heard she is so mad and frustrated cause she had it all figured out and it's not happening that way! Everyone is wrong the lawyer the support office etc. It really is starting to get alittle funny!
Warms my heart when I read about a cheater getting their just desserts.
Be glad you found out what kind of person she truly was before you had wasted half your life on her. I think a great woman who will love you and your children is waiting in the wings.
You've done very well standing up to her. I'm sure your children as seeing a father handling a very hard situation with dignity and a spine. This will help them down the road because they will know you are the parent they can trust - the one who will be there for them.
Good job on sending the records to the OMW. Don't tell your STBXW, just sit back and wait for her to get angry - that will tell you that you got them through.
She will come back and make like everything is fine and that she wants to work it out, but her real goal will be to get you to drop the divorce and the support payments. She wants a reset on the divorce process (next time she will be better prepared) and to have you rug sweep so that she can cake eat a bit longer.
Keep a voice recorder everytime she comes to visit or calls you.
By secretly keeping a VAR on you at all times, you can get her to say things to you that will prove that you did not assault her. All she needs to do is to claim that you pushed her or held her down for her to file an assault charge against you. She will do this to get a restraining order that will keep you from the house and kids and give her the upper hand in the divorce. If you think that she will not do this, think again. It is a common divorce tactic that one of friends or family will eventually tell her about.
Stop thinking of her as that caring woman that you loved and married. That person is gone. This new person is a selfish person that does not care about you at all.
94Likes
Re: hurt and confused!!!! 
