Originally Posted by Helpme1
2 Kids that would be devistated by D. Has anyone found the key to letting go of the hurt and anger?
I'm still in early days, so to speak directly to hurt and anger from this nightmare I do not have an answer.
But, hurt and anger, in general are emotions tied to events. I've found ways to finally release them before. But they need to be acknowledged and then consciously let go....it is possible to hold on to them for your entire life...we can get addicted to those feelings. And, to truly confront them can be very painful, so people in general stuff them down, deep inside, where they do the most damage, gnawing away at us at a low to medium level.
Remember, these negative emotions only corrode the vessel that carries them.
If after two years you still have them....something is wrong with your approach, something inside you doesn't want to let them go.
As sandc said, the key is you. Your wife holds responsibility for the A, but you hold responsibility how you handle your reaction, choices and actions after the A.
Tell me again, why do you want to save the marriage? Don't say for the children. If you are so miserable and the marriage bad, don't you think that toxic environment is impacting them every day for two years? How much longer do you want to go on like this?