iheartlife

Have you had yourself tested for STDs?

In this day and age, having sex with other people (whether with a condom, or not--and BJs rarely involve condoms) puts you at enormous risk.

This so profoundly unfair, for you to stick an intimate organ into someone else's body, and then to turn around and stick it in your wife.

What she doesn't know not only can hurt her, it can kill her.

I'm sorry I won't be posting in this thread again, your past actions and desire for validation to keep it all secret make me too sick.

pidge70

I disagree, he needs to tell her like yesterday. His wife has every right to know the kind of man she is married to. A man who has slept with 6 other women during the course of their marriage. God knows what he could have given her.

Not telling her because she is pregnant would be a cop out. There is never a good time for anyone to hear the one they love and trust with their life betrayed them so shamelessly. She has the right to decide if their marriage is worth saving or not. The minute he cheated he lost his say in the matter.

lisab0105

My fiance confessed while I was pregnant...your wife is already torn apart and putting stress on the baby. If you tell her what you have done...the word crippling comes to mind. She deserves the truth, though she is going to wish everyday she didn't. Don't wait to tell her because she is going to end uo working through what you have already done only to be hit over the head once again. Tell her and then brace yourself. What you have done to her is nothing short of evil. Why the hell didn't you just stay single?????????
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itsnotyouitsme

No Sympathy brother. She needs to leave you. You will not get it until she is gone and takes the kids with her.

FallenMan

I didn't say I was married or had a girlfriend when I hooked up with the other women. I'm sure it would have been different if they knew about my wife. I haven't slept with anyone else since our son was born.

I don't want to hurt the baby and I don't want to cause my wife extra pain. I am just so scared that she is going to find out later. I'm not sure how she would find out but its possible. There were other people involved and people who know so its not like a complete secret.

It was a horrible thing what I did to her. At least with the messages to my co-worker our marriage was kind of in a rough patch. I cheated when we were really happy and it was a scummy thing to do.

Sorry I'm not great at this quotes system. I didn't use a condom every time. I had an STD check in 2010 and I was clean then. I haven't slept with anyone other than my wife since.

jeepgal

I found out about my husband's affair while I was pregnant and let me just say that it almost killed me emotionally. I don't think telling her about physical relations right now will be beneficial. I have actually wondered about how the stress of it all affected my child while in utero. Just something to think about. Good luck.

arbitrator

Fallen: You'd be lower than a snakes belly to tell your wife about all of this in her present family condition. But, in time, you better plan on having a "Come to Jesus Meeting" with her because she greatly deserves it and you owe it to her as her husband. In fact, I feel that it would be even better for you to go into IC, or try to receive some form of pastoral counseling and get advice on how to break this potentially shattering news to her. You also need to be checked out by a Doctor for STD's as it would be absolutely unpardonable for you to have passed that along to your wife.

In any event, be prepared to deal with the consequences because you could fastly find yourself on the outside looking in.
The resulting affairs here are not so nearly important as the betrayal of marital trust is. Not only did you betray your wife, you betrayed your family.

The good news is that God truly forgives, and hopefully in time, that your wife will also extend her forgiveness to you. But just be prepared for anything on this most treacherous road that you're now about to journey. You and your family will continue to remain in my prayers!

__________________
"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html

Pessimystical

I agree, you can't tell her something like that while she's pregnant.
Chances are, she probably already suspects it anyway but just doesn't want to know.
In her present condition, she can't even have a drink and a cigarette to help her cope. Leave it be.

Catherine602

But you said you would have had sex with this woman if your wife did not find out. You are exactly the same weak boy you were before the birth of your son.

You are incapable of being faithful. You will never be faithful. Once a serial cheater always a serial cheater. You were probably messed up mentally by the women who cheated on you.

You let those woman really mess your sorry life up. Your decision to take revenge was a bad one. Look at where it's got you. A boy stuck in an empty void. That's why revenge is not a wise persons game. Those women moved on and matured long ago and left you to wallow in dirt.

Wouldn't you be happier single then you could eeff around with women 2X2. Won't that be fun, you brag about how many chicks you get to any man that will listen. Just think of it. Of course you won't have the trill of knowing that you are pulling the wool over the eyes of women. That's you real reason for your deceptions.

What a man you are, you sure got them back. But you are still as worthless a man as you were when those women cheated on you. You cannot garner a woman's love like other men. So you have no victory, that's why you can't stop.

If your wife really knew you she would be disgusted with the kind of man you really are. For all your bragging about what you are doing you are still a sad impotent failure as a man.

Why stay married to this faithful woman? Why expose your wife to STD's and your children to an unhappy mother. She is not the one who made you feel impotent.

You chose revenge instead of growth and your reward is to watch real men who experience their manhood by their ability to succeed in work, support their family. Plus nurture their children and make their wife happy and be good sex partners to the woman to whom they commit.

I really hope your wife finds out and leaves you, if not now then very soon. Her kids are still young and she can marry again to a decent man who will protect and love her and be a decent father figure for the kids.

You can galavant with all the woman you can persuade to touch you until you shrivel up with some STD.

__________________
"Hey some guys need a book to find the G-spot. It was intuitive for me. Some take the road less travelled." Enthropy 3000

FallenMan

I didn't say I would have sex with her. It was just going down that path. Thankfully it didn't happen.

I know it must sound ridiculous but I haven't been with anyone else in over 2 years. So I do think I can change. I agree I was messed up by being cheated on. It definitely shaped how I think of women and how I act in relationships. The shame is my wife is/was the victim in this and she is innocent.

I love my wife. I wouldn't be happier single. I would miss her so much. I've never even considered for a second of leaving my wife for another woman. My wife has always been my focus. And my wife does love me.

Like I said as of 2010 I didn't have any STDs. I haven't slept with anyone else other than my wife so I am fairly sure I am clean and healthy.

I do have a good job and I provide for my family. My son loves me so much and I am a good dad to him. I don't know where you get off on telling me I am a bad father and someone else should raise my kids. Even if we were to get divorced I would still be my kids' dad.

I made some mistakes but I want to change and be the husband my wife deserves.

Thanks to all for the advice. I will put off making a decision on telling her for the time being.

iheartlife

I said I wouldn't post, but this brought be back.

So predictable! Putting off the decision = you're never going to tell her.

Coward.

FallenMan

I just don't want to hurt her or the baby. Its not based on me being a coward or not. I couldn't live with myself if I knew I did something that caused harm to our baby. Surely you can understand that?

I'm going to take some time and think and see if its best to tell her. It may just end up causing her more pain. I don't think I am going to cheat again. This was a huge wake up call. I need to really go back and see if there is any way my wife would find out about the other stuff. If there is a chance I would be better off confessing but if there is no chance than maybe I need to just change and be a better husband and never make the same mistake again. I'm sorry if I'm predictable. I just love my wife and I can't in good faith tell her right now.

Lone Star

It is extremely difficult for those of us here that have been cheated on to read your post. It's not that your post are somethin unheard of, it's things you say. I find it interesting that now that you have been 'caught' that you are so worried about hurting your wife. Really? I think you are fearful of what your wife might and should do, which is get rid of you! She has MORE than every right to know but it isn't my place to say if she should be told before or after the birth of her child. Like all cheaters.....it's all about you even though you try really hard to act as if you are just torn apart by what you have done to your wife. You have NO idea what torn apart feels like.

pidge70

Oh wow. Maybe, just maybe, you should have loved your wife enough to keep it zipped.

OhGeesh

I've said it before and I'll say it again I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!

Don't mess up my utopia by clearing your guilty conscious. I can think of many things that after the fact I wish I wouldn't have known............principle be damned the reality is the pain sucks far more than "knowing the real truth" would make feel good.

Of course there are assumptions I'm making that you are truly sorry, that you know you have no STD's, that you are through with cheating.

Best of luck!!