Catherine602

Your wife does not consider you the man she fell in love with so your marriage will be different. It rather funny that you ask her about an open marriage when she is having your child but you wont tell her you what you are.

You are as selfish as you ever were. You act in your own interest not your wife's. What type of man would bring up an open marriage to a pregnant women. That is as bad as confessing to your cheating on her.

You did not mention how your wife took your self serving plan. She must think you are quite the man - you have the nerve to ask her about having sex with others.

And all she did was refuse? She is good with you loves as much as ever. I doubt it. I really don't believe your story. Even a selfish man could wait 2 months to ask his wife about sex with others.

It amounts to telling her she means nothing to you but a broad mare to you. This your EA could not have been passed off as a simple no. She would have to be devastated at this point. She woukd have to be stressed. Yet you describe her as OK.

I don't believe this story. Why are you posting? To argue your point? To tell a story. What is the question? This sounds similar to other sensational post. You are looking for a reaction not advice.

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lovinhimmore

if you wait for the right time to tell her, then you never will. There are always a million reasons why not to tell her at any given point. I was once told by a very important person in my life that if you cheat and it's onl once and you have no intention of it happening again, then you don't tell them. That telling them is actually more selfish then not telling them because your telling them to make yourself feel better, to relieve your guilt by hurting them. But seeing as how you have done it over and over and over then yeah i think you should tell her. Like the person earlier said if you don't then you will keep doing it because your not getting caught. AND don't lie. If she asks then tell her the truth. My husband was addicted to porn and hid it from me. We have moved past this but what hurt the most, more than feeling like i wasn't enough for him and that i wasn't attractive to him was the feeling of him lying, I gave him many many many chances to tell me the truth and he would lie and that broke the trust more than the action because it became well if he lied so easily then how do i know he isn't lying now. And coming from a woman, explain everything!! its going to hurt her, but break the dam all at once. Let it all out and be honest about everything, even if shes asks how you felt and if you liked it and where it happened because if you hold anything back then that starts a foundation for the mistrust again. Make sure to tell her how you feel about her and why you think you might have done it. and if you do feel that its a real problem you have offer that too her and let her know that you are telling her because you want to be with her and you want help.

sigma1299

21 to 10... 68%

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sigma1299

Oh and although she hasn't posted my wife has expressed in debating your thread that she thinks you should confess - so I'll call that 22 to 10 or 69%...

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lovinhimmore

Good point, Fallen, do you really think you would even be in a marriage right now if your wife knew what was going on before you married her now? you marriage is founded on lies and she will find out! better from you then from someone else

lordmayhem

Add me to that. Just about everyone has said what I wanted to say.

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sigma1299

So 23 to 10. Gee we're up to 70% is that a consensus Fallen??

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canttrustu

TELL HER ALREADY!!!!!!! In no uncertain terms. TELL HER.

FallenMan

I suppose maybe I did gloss over some of the comments encouraging me to come clean. I will go back and re-read this thread. I felt like it was 50-50 but apparently it wasn't. At the end of the day its my life and marriage and I have to do what is best for me and my marriage. The replies on this thread while helpful are not binding.

I'm not. I've said I was wrong from my first post. My name is "Fallen Man". I know I am in the wrong. I'm not looking for affirmation.

I didn't ask her for an open marriage. I'm not a fool. We were having a discussion and I mentioned it as something I thought was kind of interesting. She said it wasn't interesting to her and she would never go for it. I said I was joking and walked it back. She was kind of cross at me for a little bit but it blew over.

I think I agree with this person. I am a changed person. I have fallen but I am rising as a better husband and person. I'm sorry that people here don't seem to have faith in me but I will not err again.

I've already stated that I wouldn't tell her during the pregnancy and I am inclined to not tell ever. I think this decision is not one that a number of you like. I'm sorry. I think I will cut down on my posting here anyways. The advice has been good and helpful but the judgmental comments has not. Thanks to all who gave me advice. You have helped.

lovinhimmore

you totally took what you wanted to hear from what i said and not what i actually said!!!!! i still said to tell her and you clearly made that mistake over and over and over!!!

sharkeey

You said a very important person in your life told you NOT to tell them that it's selfish and hurtful.

lovinhimmore

That's if you did it once.... You did it an imaginable amount of times with 6 diff women... I wish I knew your wife, if tell her my damn self you pig

sharkeey

I'm not married anymore.