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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » Divorce is Final Today and I'm Feeling Kinda Blue

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 04-28-2012, 09:51 AM   #31 (permalink)
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Default Re: Divorce is Final Today and I'm Feeling Kinda Blue

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Thanks chap. Yeah, the churchgoing is a mystery to me also. But I've learned that some of the biggest sinners are those who attend church on a regular basis.

I don't go myself and I knew that my ex would've liked for me to do so. Ironically, during our marital woes (pre-dday), I even offered to start attending church with her. But suddenly she didn't think it was such a good idea.
Unfortunately, we are all sinners. Some stray from the path more than others. Most of us realize when we have done something wrong and atone for it and ask for forgiveness. I really just assumed that cheaters would probably go down the same path. However, it was pointed out that if a person committed adultery and stayed with or married the AP they were in a continual state of adultery and could not be forgiven until the adultery was completely over.

Not trying to thread jack, just thought you may have talked this over with your wife. Its great that she takes your daughter to church but...... IDK..... this is confusing to me. Its like she is trying to instill morals into your daughter but she is left wanting herself.
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Old 04-28-2012, 01:01 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Its great that she takes your daughter to church but...... IDK..... this is confusing to me. Its like she is trying to instill morals into your daughter but she is left wanting herself.
Actually, it was my daughter who got her to go back to church around four years ago.

I think going to church for waywards is just another in the long list of compartmentalization that they do.
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Old 04-28-2012, 05:32 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Default Re: Divorce is Final Today and I'm Feeling Kinda Blue

My wife went to mass one Saturday shortly before DDay and the same afternoon she booked her ticket to go see the OM in San Diego. The same afternoon!
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Old 05-01-2012, 07:01 PM   #34 (permalink)
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There were definitely more good times than bad ones. However, the bad times are ginormous in comparison, which might lessen over time. If I had to come up with a mathematical equation for this, it would look like:

BAD>GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD


That's excellent math, Count! I've lived this exact equation myself too!
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Old 05-01-2012, 07:28 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Default Re: Divorce is Final Today and I'm Feeling Kinda Blue

Count: Despite the loss of that 150K, please consider yourself as the big winner . Having the kids there with you is by itself a true gift from God. Cherish it! And enjoy their presence with you every day!
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Old 05-01-2012, 07:30 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Default Re: Divorce is Final Today and I'm Feeling Kinda Blue

Count you should go to Marseille or Cannes for a few days this summer. French women are delectable , should help boost your confidence abit.
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Old 05-01-2012, 10:16 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Count you should go to Marseille or Cannes for a few days this summer. French women are delectable , should help boost your confidence abit.
Complexity, that sounds like a great idea. Alas, I have a business to run. The closest that I'll get to France this year is a two-hour drive to Paris... Texas.
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Old 05-01-2012, 11:46 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Complexity, that sounds like a great idea. Alas, I have a business to run. The closest that I'll get to France this year is a two-hour drive to Paris... Texas.
Damn! I thought that I was the only one that ever made it up to "that Paris!" Count~ you've got to be hanging your hat somewhere in the D-FW vicinity.

Thank God that my travelling days of reffing Junior College Basketball are well behind me. Happiness was truly seeing that place in the rear-view mirror, more especially when home, at that particular point in time was down near Galveston!
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Old 05-02-2012, 07:40 AM   #39 (permalink)
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And this is why no-fault divorce is destroying the institution of marriage.

Walk out on your husband and kids, eff around, consequenses? You recieve cash and prizes to the tune of $150,000 large.
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Old 05-02-2012, 11:04 AM   #40 (permalink)
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And this is why no-fault divorce is destroying the institution of marriage.

Walk out on your husband and kids, eff around, consequenses? You recieve cash and prizes to the tune of $150,000 large.
No-fault divorce is prevalent in my state; normally community property laws prevail, but with the presence of a prenup that was implemented to primarily insulate my STBXW's wealth from me in the event of a divorce, she's using it to sue me for anywhere between her proposed settlement of 60K up to her calculations of some 250K allegedly for my share of living expenses incurred that she says that I owe her for marrying and living with her for some 7+ years.

Actually, no-fault with a prenup may very well save my bacon, in that, even in the worst-case scenario of a judgement against me, I clearly don't have any of the monetary resources to pay either of those figures off, other than for my personal inherited non-monetary property of my parents, which is deemed to be untouchable under state law.

Her proposal is for me to pay it off at the clip of $300 per month with applicable interest, which would take me well up into my 80's.

So is there anybody out there rampantly hiring senior citzens? Didn't think so!

Good luck, darlin'!
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Last edited by arbitrator; 05-02-2012 at 12:19 PM.
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Old 05-02-2012, 11:12 AM   #41 (permalink)
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Fault or no-fault evey state needs Alienation of Affection laws so you can go after the people that ruin families.
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Old 05-02-2012, 11:24 AM   #42 (permalink)
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Default Re: Divorce is Final Today and I'm Feeling Kinda Blue

Count, your post, while sad to read, was very well articulated. I can feel this as if I were you. Deep down, your kids know your goodness. They are your blood and will have your back for the rest of your life.

God speed.
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Old 05-02-2012, 01:45 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Count, your post, while sad to read, was very well articulated. I can feel this as if I were you. Deep down, your kids know your goodness. They are your blood and will have your back for the rest of your life.

God speed.
Gabriel thanks for the kind words.

I've been a bit wistful and melancholy over the last few days. I guess the finality of a thirty-five year love affair is really sinking in.
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Old 05-02-2012, 01:51 PM   #44 (permalink)
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Thanks for your guidance on my situation, maybe I will pull it out.

Otherwise, find a younger wife for yourself and make your ex burn in jealousy.
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Old 05-03-2012, 11:36 PM   #45 (permalink)
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Default Re: Divorce is Final Today and I'm Feeling Kinda Blue

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Fault or no-fault evey state needs Alienation of Affection laws so you can go after the people that ruin families.
You can go after them for intentional infliction of emotional distress. Evidently no on ever wants to. Lawyers are just to expensive.
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