Your opinion and advice please!

JDPreacher · 04-01-2009, 05:03 AM

He's playing games and using a fools tool to try and get some kind of superior satisfaction...it's childish and a waste of time. Far more could have and would have been gained by now if the polygraph went away eons ago.

She has admitted to some liberties with people who are not her husband and he supposedly has proof of others that he wants her to admit to, show her what proof there is and argue from there, stop the petty bickering over some stupid polygraph.

Threats in a marriage are pointless and cruel and do more damage than anything else. That's tantamount to an ultimatum and no one responds well to those...by forcing the issue of the polygraph she has dug her heels in even further so it's counter productive.

I never said bury his head in the sand, I said quite simply, grow up, stop being childish about this and decide what course of action he wants to take and stop playing silly games over some unreliable device to vindicate yourself. If Mr. Cato is so steadfast about this and is this controlling and unrelenting in other aspects of the marriage then I can see where the wife would need recourse or another outlet because quite honestly, Mr. Cato sounds like a boorish ass.

Blessed Be,
Preacher

Initfortheduration · 04-01-2009, 08:41 AM

You gotta love this. Or rather cato's wife would love this. His wife is getting drunk and screwing several guys, while cato stays at home with his four kids. He has an issue with this and confronts her with the facts. She denies it and continues to lie an gaslight him. He pushes for her to come clean and tells her he wants her to take a polygraph test. And who shows up on the scene? The Honorable Right Reverend JD Preacher. The cheating spouses advocate and best friend. Who with a few strokes on his keyboard justifies and absolves the cheater and then turns his all knowing and caring compassion on the victim by calling him names. Who is proud of the fact that he is able to lie and beat polygraph tests. The defender of the deceitful. The persecutor of the innocent. A theologian of the first order. Founding member and sole parishioner of the on line ministry of "Cheaters Church". A humble man of adultery advocacy. Who patrols the infidelity boards looking for converts to his mission field of attacking the victims of adultery. Who's sixteen posts have displayed a level of compassion and understanding not seen since the.....since the......since the...well, its really never been seen before. Who will spare no betrayed spouse in his journey to encourage and support the wanton destruction of marriages, by caving in to the cheaters desire to eat cake and continue their deceitful, and treacherous game of adultery. I stand in awe of his intellect.

JDPreacher · 04-01-2009, 09:15 AM

I've always been the one cheated on and if I had something to put on the table, that's where it went. I don't advocate cheating nor do I absolve anyone from doing so...what she did is wrong and Mr. Cato being upset is justifiable. What he is attempting to do is just as wrong and doing nothing more than playing a game, much as she did, so he is no better, spurned yes, but no better.

The world is full of passifists, no one wants to just lay it out there anymore, too worried about hurting someone's feelings or making them feel bad about themselves...you don't learn anything like that and life is and should be a learning experience.

Blessed Be,
Preacher

cato1788 · 06-01-2009, 01:49 PM

I filed for divorce two weeks ago. We'll split our assets evenly and share custody of our kids 50/50. Her not coming clean about the infidelty was a big reason for my filing. Ultimately, I realized two things: First, a man (or a woman) should be able to have full confidence in their partner's fidelity. I did not, and she didn't seem to care. Second, I found continued evidence of her throwing herself and aggressively flirting with male coworkers. When I confronted her on this, she said "you're just jealous because they are "execs".

So I filed.

Trust me, there are many more reasons that I don't want to go into here, but I feel very good about this, like the weight of the world is off my shoulders and I'll be able to provide a much better environment for my kids during the time that I have them

Initfortheduration · 06-02-2009, 05:44 AM

I hope you're taking her for child support and alimony. Her last comments show just how morally corrupt she is. There is someone out there for you, who will love you and not cheat. Good luck. Stay strong.

cato1788 · 06-02-2009, 03:42 PM

Thanks Init, for these comments as well as all of your insights a few months ago. You've got an ability to cut through the BS and really get to the heart of the matter, and I am very confident that I'm doing the right thing.

So often I hear and read about people rationalizing their bad situations and trying to wish away the problem. You've always advocated a "take the bull by the horns" mentality which I think is most often what is needed. No married person should have to wonder every day if their spouse is faithful to them.