She constantly tells me how good I am to her. She say's she doesn't deserve me.
DB, When you confront her. In front of the counselor.
I would use her line. And say:
"You always tell me how good I am to you and that you don't deserve me. Let's see what you think I deserve.
I deserve to be your second choice.
I deserve to be lied to about your EA with ****.
for most of our marriage.
I deserve to watch you love someone who has given you nothing. While I have given you my life.
I deserve to find your love and sex letters when you're sloppy, that tear me apart.
I deserve to lose sleep worrying about my marriage.
I deserve to depressed.
I deserve to see my wife take off her wedding rings and tell me that "they're too small", when we they look the same size as all your other rings. And if they were too small, we could have them re sized. But like our marriage they are just not that important to you. Now l will tell you what I don't deserve. I don't deserve being treated like this. In short I don't deserve you.
And being that I am the only one working to keep us together and that you would prefer to be with you old boyfriend. I am saying when. I have filed for divorce. I have notified the other mans wife with all your e-mails, and just how long this has been going on. I have notified all our friends and family and will send them the contents of your correspondence if I have to. You're right you don't deserve me. I am better then you . And one day I will find someone who deserves the love I have to give.
Now you may want to still save your marriage. I think this is the only way. For years, you have allowed her to treat you this way with no consequences. Why do you think she keeps it up? Because it never her cost her more then your displeasure and pain. She has had a cake walk. The fact is your marriage has been more important then her cheating. What have you accomplished? Nothing. The question is now whether you are ready to cut bait or fish?
You say that you can't live this way. Then if you can't live this way.......don't. Your wife has to believe she is losing everything. You, the kids, the family, her respect, her reputation in her extended family...EVERYTHING. People don't value something until they have lost it. Now the next question. Are you ready to either effect a change in her and risk that your marriage ends? Or keep the status quo and live the rest of your marriage in the shadow of the other man. KICK HER A$$ OUT! Since she is the cheater. Tell her that she will leave, and if she makes a fuss tell her that all the contents of her e-mails will be shared with her family and friends, along with the address and phone# of your POSOM (piece of sh!t other man).
It's up to you.