Re: Need advice for how to approach wife
While a lot of these messages were coming out for me not to go confront the guy, I was already on my way...I talked to him and he denied everything at first...I asked him if they talked outside of the bar and he said no, then said well we text every now and then...then I asked if she had been to his house and he said no, then it changed to once with her girlfriend...when I kept telling him that she had told me she had been to his house more than that he finally admitted that one time she came with her girlfriend and then her girlfriend left and she stayed. I asked how long she stayed and he said about as long as it took to watch a movie. I had already even said the name of the movie and he couldn't remember the movie when I asked him again after he admitted to it, and said "Fred?"...then I said no, you watched "Red" and he goes "oh yeah, the one with Bruce Willis". Up to this point, he lied about every single thing and I realized it was a completely useless visit, but then said about 3-4 times in a row that I shouldn't leave her and that there is nothing to worry about. He also said "she didn't do anything wrong, well ok she lied to you, but she didn't do anything worth getting a divorce over". I'm not sure if the reason he said this was because nothing really happened or because he really is just using her for sex and doesn't really like her. If I broke the marriage up, perhaps that scares him and makes him realize he would be done with her? I'm trying to be devil's advocate and assume the 2nd part is the truth, because otherwise I don't get why he would say that. If he honestly was a good guy that was just her friend why not just be honest. The fact that he didn't want to admit to anything at first does make me think he hasn't talked to my wife since I found out or you'd think he would have had some of the story matching, so I don't know if him lying might actually be somewhat good or not. If it truly was a friendship, I don't understand why he'd be worried at all to just be honest from the start either though.