so if she does not agree to NC say if thats how it is i will inform everyone that this is over because of your affair. again when do the children find out...is affair even mentioned to them?
No! You don't tell her that you are going to expose. You just do it. Then you sit back and wait for the phone calls to start; once they do (if anyone will help you), she will be furious! Just ignore her and repeat "You chose to cheat on your husband."
Also, you send it only key people who can influence her, people whose respect she craves. THOSE are the people she might stop the affair for.
here is the exposure email:
It saddens me to inform everyone that my wife name, has been carrying on an inappropriate relationship with AP of city, state. for several months. Upon discovering of the affair, I have made numerous attempts to turn the marriage around, but I am not having much success. She has made the decision to see him as she pleases. If you support my marriage, and the two children who will be devastated, you may reach her at phone number. Please pray for us.
Thoughts?
Huh?
Call it what it IS. Get the shock value out of it. "My wife is committing adultery with XYZ; in fact, she's at a hotel with him right now."
He needs both. One for the talk, the other when she drives away, it might be hard to reclaim later, but he can wrk that out. Posted via Mobile Device
I think he said he would be picking her up at the airport. If they have two cars they are both at home so the VAR in the car can be done now. I agree he should keep one on his person when he picks her up and on the drive home and during the discussion that follows (if there is one).
This woman is way to calm in my opinion. Calling him while OM is in the car with her is crazy. Something is up. They have worked out a plan.
The time to hold off on exposure was DDay #1. You did not expose. This is DDay #2, so expose now.
Don't pick her up at the airport. Let her find her own way. Give her a taste of her new life without you.
I just read the "affair fog" article. Good stuff. U think I should forward it to her for some in flight reading so she knows what I'm talking about when I make reference? Posted via Mobile Device
I just read the "affair fog" article. Good stuff. U think I should forward it to her for some in flight reading so she knows what I'm talking about when I make reference? Posted via Mobile Device
As someone who was in an EA I would say no. I understand you wanting to reach her. She seems further gone than I was frankly. I was not ready for that kind of info until I was coming out of withdrawal. She needs the proverbial 2 x 4. Telling her this is unacceptable. Then if she comes around there will be time for this. You will not reason her out of the OMs bed. I know this is hard to understand.
__________________
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"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
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I just read the "affair fog" article. Good stuff. U think I should forward it to her for some in flight reading so she knows what I'm talking about when I make reference? Posted via Mobile Device
You are jumping twenty steps ahead. No do not send this to her.
Quit wasting time and send the exposure notice. Posted via Mobile Device
You are jumping twenty steps ahead. No do not send this to her.
Quit wasting time and send the exposure notice. Posted via Mobile Device
She is way farther along the road than we thought.
Expose now.
GO RIGHT NOW AND GET THAT VAR!!!!! Keep it turned on and with you for the next few days. She and the OM have a plan and nothing they plan is good for you.
You have to protect yourself.
BTW - Did she admit to him being in the car with her when she called? That means they spent the night together and woke up late - thus a missed flight.
Yeah, some stuff isn't adding up here. OP is picking her up at the airport, but she's with him in the car? Missed flights?
OP, are you talking to her while she's on the way to the airport from the other side, not yet on the plane? What makes you think they are in the car together? That didn't seem obvious given what you wrote.
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Re: advice needed about an emotional affair 
