04-30-2012, 09:03 AM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Alberta, Canada
| | Re: Does anybody journal to help them thru the pain?
Originally Posted by canttrustu
I do. It helps me get out the ugly stuff Im thinking. When we have our 'talks' I try to not say too much b/c I dont want to react out of pain and anger. So I try to just let the things he says process and part of that sometimes is to write out what he said and what I was thinking when he said it. Curse words and all! Infidelity is such a painful subject and so personal that I cant even talk to my friends or family much b/c it doesnt feel like they understand. They all have quick fixes. In reality, there are no quick fixes. You've heard 'em; "forgive and forget" or "if it were me, I'd put his ass on the curb"...they mean to be helpful but they havent been where we are so really its nonproductive. So when I journal I write everything/anything and alot of times it feels alot better just to get it off my chest(much like writing on TAM).
So how did MC go?
M/C was good..he gave me/us good tools to work on communication, etc. I told him that at times I berate myself for dwelling on what happened, tell myself that others have it worse, etc. etc. and he said that is self criticicism..he said what you have to tell yourself instead is "I am having a hard time today dealing with this".
I know what you are saying...it is hard to explain to people the conflicting emotions within you...I find that one minute I think kick him out because I feel so negative and defeated and then the next minute I feel hopeful and positive.