I think that is what she wants. Last night when we were arguing she kept blaming me for ruining our marriage and messing up our kids. She wants out but wants me to be the one at fault. All conjecture but that is all I can do with someone who doesn't tell me anything.
She is blameshifting. Its a typical wayward tactic. You need to stop listening to her and start acting. Actions are the only thing she will understand. You can only save your marriage when you are prepared to lose it. And ironically it is only when a WS is ready to lose everything do they suddenly reverse course and want to save it.
I have gone in the past. When we first started going it was OK for the first couple of times but then her and her friends wanted to be right next to the stage and meet the band. But really I was brought along to drive everyone home, and I had a blow up down there once because that was the only reason I was there. I have gone other times but it basically ends in a fight at home.
It is one thing to enjoy music. Women meeting the band!? NFW. Not sure why you were ok with this. It is best to make your stand to stop things like this from even getting started rather than putting the genie bck in the bottle / pants.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
Oh she is an argument ninja. She can twist anything and everything back to me. sometimes I almost start to laugh while arguing.
Again, I appreciate all the input. I'll throw something that I find funny that started the fight last night. A little info needed is that we never go out just us two anymore, its always something with one or more of her friends. So we planned a weekend away in a couple of weeks for our anniversary. Her friend got upset because my wife was also having a get together for her birthday. So she invited her friend who is a coworker to come spend Saturday afternoon with us on our 2 day get away. And she didn't understand why I would be upset. Makes me laugh.
I wasn't OK with it but after I had a blow up at her 3 years ago she held it over my head and everytime I objected she would bring that whole thing out. It is part of the reason I had a breakdown last December.
Oh she is an argument ninja. She can twist anything and everything back to me. sometimes I almost start to laugh while arguing.
Again, I appreciate all the input. I'll throw something that I find funny that started the fight last night. A little info needed is that we never go out just us two anymore, its always something with one or more of her friends. So we planned a weekend away in a couple of weeks for our anniversary. Her friend got upset because my wife was also having a get together for her birthday. So she invited her friend who is a coworker to come spend Saturday afternoon with us on our 2 day get away. And she didn't understand why I would be upset. Makes me laugh.
Have you ever told her no and when she argues tell her to shut up? I doubt that it will help now but it sounds as if you are describing fitness tests. Which it also sounds like you are failing. Don't feel too bad. Most guys do fail them until they learn to recognize them.
Oh she is an argument ninja. She can twist anything and everything back to me. sometimes I almost start to laugh while arguing.
Again, I appreciate all the input. I'll throw something that I find funny that started the fight last night. A little info needed is that we never go out just us two anymore, its always something with one or more of her friends. So we planned a weekend away in a couple of weeks for our anniversary. Her friend got upset because my wife was also having a get together for her birthday. So she invited her friend who is a coworker to come spend Saturday afternoon with us on our 2 day get away. And she didn't understand why I would be upset. Makes me laugh.
There is a magical word ........
NO
Stop arguing with her. She is pushing your buttons.
Learn to calmly but firmly to tell her no and then mean it.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
I think this would fit the bill for the problems you are going through. Read it, give it a try for a couple weeks and see if it makes you feel more confident about your future.
I don't see how you could be on this forum and think snooping on the computer is wrong. Do you know how many marriages/families this has saved? You would rather divorce than see what is going on? You are making no sense.
Oh she is an argument ninja. She can twist anything and everything back to me. sometimes I almost start to laugh while arguing.
Again, I appreciate all the input. I'll throw something that I find funny that started the fight last night. A little info needed is that we never go out just us two anymore, its always something with one or more of her friends. So we planned a weekend away in a couple of weeks for our anniversary. Her friend got upset because my wife was also having a get together for her birthday. So she invited her friend who is a coworker to come spend Saturday afternoon with us on our 2 day get away. And she didn't understand why I would be upset. Makes me laugh.
Here's the thing. I think she doesn't want to be alone with you because that would be her cheating on her OM. So she's going to bed early (btw - likely texting him), or she's making plans involving friends. She's isolating herself from you.
Jimmy, as you allude to, your wife's behavior in all this is quite pathetic.
Yes, she is most likely cheating and you need to take that into consideration.
But, another important thing you might want to consider is whether you can go through life with a woman so dumb and superficial. Seriously, a relationship with such a person has to be terribly lonely.
One reason that you need to find out what is really going on is your health. If she is in a PA with this guy or someone else your health could be at risk due to STDs. You do need to protect yourself.
The second reason you need to find out whats realy going on is to stop her from turning this unhealthy behavior she has on you.
The third reason to find out whats going on is so when she gets serve D paper it won't make you look like the crazy, controlling husband that won't let his women out.
Gathering eveidence is a b!tch and very painfull. Its not for the weak of heart. So go see a lawyer, they'll beable to reccomend a good PI to hire. Get the papers drawn up and be ready to have her served.
Remember filing and getting her served is completely different then finalizing the D, often this tactic should scare your WW straight, before the D is finalized.
The thinking behind all this is when faced with the real consequence for her actions and that it is document and proven, the fog starts to lift and the fantasy fade as reality takes over.
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Re: Confused by Wife's Actions 
