It started 5 months ago I was having anxiety problems and uncomfortable with my wife going to see the same cover band every 6 weeks or so. Every time she went she got extremely drunk , was always in the front row by the same guitar player and at the end of the night always ot a picture taken with him. I freaked out finally and thought she was having an affair when I found another pic of those 2 after a show and she didn't want me to see it because she has so many. This lead to a nervous breakdown and almost destroyed our marriage.
We got thru it, she told me she would never go there again, being with me and the kids is much more important. Now 3 weeks ago she now is frustrated that she can't go to the show anymore. Never mind how I felt about her actions. So its her friends birthday and she always goes to these shows and none of her other friends can go so my wife has to go to the show, never mind my feelings.
The last 3 weeks she has been acting very odd and last Saturday I am just to suspicious and I get on her computer and look at her history. For the last 4 weeks she has gone to this guys facebook page once or twice a day. I tell her what I did last night and she is extremely angry that I didn't respect her privacy and she didn't think there was anything wrong with going to his page every day. Today I see that she is facebook friends with him but has me blocked from seeing that she is friends with him. I am extremely upset. She says nothing ever happened and she barely knows the guy, he lives on the other side of the state and only saw him for a few minutes at the shows. But I think this is really wrong. Can I et anyones opinion on this? Am I overreacting? There have been no texts, e-mails or chats that I am aware of. The guy is married with a small kid. But I think it is wrong that she just can't stay away from this guy? Thoughts?
First, there is no privacy in marriage. No secrets. None. She should have full access to your phone and e-mail anytime and vice versa.
Second, she would not be so defensive and angry at you looking at her e-mails if she was not trying to hide something.
I would back off for now and install a keylogger program on the computer. Now that you have snooped on her facebook she will use other e-mail methods to contact him.
Don't go off half-c0cked and accuse her of anything until you have solid proof she is having an affair with this guy. Play dumb for now and be patient. See what you can dig up. Posted via Mobile Device
From my experience reading TAM Bandit and Tacoma are spot on.
Also it might be a good idea to let the veterans of this board know what type of cell phone she has (if she has one) as well. They can further help your collection of evidence (if any) with that information.
A celebrity crush is fine if we were talking about somebody like George Clooney. She will never be alone with him, and he dates supermodels. So he wouldn't be interested in your wife.
But, we're talking about a local cover band. Those guys are completely accessible. It's not appropriate for her to act like a lovestruck teenager with this guy any more than it would be for her to have a crush on your neighbor.
So, you need to put a stop to this. If she will listen to you, then tell her not to go to anymore shows. But it doesn't sound like she will. So, you have to catch her in emails or Facebook messages being inappropriate. That will probably be easy enough.
Here's another thought. Apologize for overreacting. And go to show with her. Tell her you just want to meet her friend that is such an amazing musician. It's pretty easy to c0ckblock when you're standing next to your wife.
A celebrity crush is fine if we were talking about somebody like George Clooney. She will never be alone with him, and he dates supermodels. So he wouldn't be interested in your wife.
But, we're talking about a local cover band. Those guys are completely accessible. It's not appropriate for her to act like a lovestruck teenager with this guy any more than it would be for her to have a crush on your neighbor.
So, you need to put a stop to this. If she will listen to you, then tell her not to go to anymore shows. But it doesn't sound like she will. So, you have to catch her in emails or Facebook messages being inappropriate. That will probably be easy enough.
Here's another thought. Apologize for overreacting. And go to show with her. Tell her you just want to meet her friend that is such an amazing musician. It's pretty easy to c0ckblock when you're standing next to your wife.
Follow instructions above. However, in future confrontations never, ever reveal your intel sources. When you do that you burn your source. Learn from your mistake.
Also it might be a good idea to let the veterans of this board know what type of cell phone she has (if she has one) as well. They can further help your collection of evidence (if any) with that information.
Listen to these folks, but I'd like to add put a key logger on the pc so you can see her emails and fb messages.
She's throwing herself st him that much is obvious, the question is has he taken her up on the offer? Posted via Mobile Device
The bright side here is that if he is hot, talented, and popular, odds are he has too many women throwing themselves at him to have gotten around to the OP`s wife yet.
She's risking her marriage and her husbands sanity by continuing to go to the shows and fu#kbook page yet nothing is happening???? Thats BS!!!
Let's not forget the multitude of pictures of them together after the show, the ones that she did not want him to see.
Something is up.
Jerry, if she goes to this show I would pack a bag, take your child and spend a quiet night at a nice motel. Enjoy some room service, rent a movie and chill.
Thanks for all the input. I am staying away from her computer and I can see who she texts because her phone is on my account and she knows this so if she was doing something, she wouldn't text. I have no idea how much this guy is in contact with her. He knows she is married and I have gone to the shows in the past but I can't stand them.
I just got home and she told the kids she was sick and went to bed so it will be a peaceful evening. I am afraid divorce is ahead, as we have had fights about this show many times the last 3 years.
I am still stunned she would friend this guy, but there seems to be nothing I can do to make her want to stop. She is almost 37 going on 21.
Again thanks for the input, i just needed some other opinions. I know snooping on a computer is wrong but I should have found nothing and then felt like an *******.
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Confused by Wife's Actions 
Thats BS!!!
