Messed up over wife's affair - what do I do? - Page 3
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » Messed up over wife's affair - what do I do?

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

Like Tree20Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 05-03-2012, 05:12 AM   #31 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 546
Default Re: Messed up over wife's affair - what do I do?

What is the 180? And it is funny you mention PTSD because I had anxiety attacks when I was younger and got over them but since this happened i am once again feeling blind-sided by all this.......hard to get my head around how selfish and inconsiderate she is....perhaps i missed this side to her when we were married...
bigtone128 is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 05-03-2012, 05:29 AM   #32 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,619
Default Re: Messed up over wife's affair - what do I do?

A 180 link below


The Healing Heart: The 180
Posted via Mobile Device
Eli-Zor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2012, 07:35 AM   #33 (permalink)
Member
 
bandit.45's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 9,202
Default Re: Messed up over wife's affair - what do I do?

The worst thing you can do is find reasons to blame yourself.

Look, you will never know why your wife has done this horrible thing. Some people when they hit their 40s just go off the rails, for whatever reason. My soon to be ex wife is doing the same thing as yours. My filing for divorce has not stopped her behavior but it at least got me out from under her.

Follow the advice you have been given. File for divorce, do the 180 and "go dark" on her to protect yourself. Start taking care of yourself and see to your own health and sanity. You cannot control what your wife does, you can only control how you respond to it.
Posted via Mobile Device
bandit.45 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2012, 03:02 PM   #34 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 546
Default Re: Messed up over wife's affair - what do I do?

Can I ask another question? I am a good guy and since my wife's and my separation after her affair - a few women have asked me out and I am considering going out with them - should I go?
bigtone128 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2012, 03:17 PM   #35 (permalink)
Member
 
bandit.45's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 9,202
Default Re: Messed up over wife's affair - what do I do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigtone128 View Post
Can I ask another question? I am a good guy and since my wife's and my separation after her affair - a few women have asked me out and I am considering going out with them - should I go?
Not until your divorce agreement is filed and the process is underway. You don't need to give your wife any ammo to uses against you if the D should go before a judge.

For me, my goal is to commit to stay true to my marital vows until the D is final. Not to prove anything to my STBXW, but for my own self respect. I need to know that I stood for something that she couldn't.
bandit.45 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2012, 03:42 PM   #36 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 174
Default Re: Messed up over wife's affair - what do I do?

I agree with Bandit - there will be plenty of time for dating once you're done with your wife (legally). I'm sure you're lonely, but hang in there.
jinba is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2012, 11:14 AM   #37 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: West Georgia
Posts: 284
Default Re: Messed up over wife's affair - what do I do?

Bandit and Jin are correct. The important thing is that it proves you don't have to tolerate her crap in exchange for a few scraps she throws to you if and when she feels like it.
Fvstringpicker is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Tags
cheating wife, infidelity

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Handling a wife's emotional affair or maybe the EA of my wife's friend toward my wife WillK General Relationship Discussion 62 09-27-2012 11:13 PM
my wife messed about with another woman eyeball28 Coping with Infidelity 14 12-22-2011 12:02 PM
My wife's affair, my e-affair, my book George Everyman Sex in Marriage 0 02-23-2011 08:01 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:36 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage