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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 05-05-2012, 02:41 PM   #181 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

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Ok, right now she is being a mope around the house. She is really avoiding me. I'm just going to take my son to the store with me and just get away from her today. She is testing me I can tell.
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This could mean one of three things.

1) she realizes her time of being in control is over, and is depressed about it.

2) she's guilty, and because of all of this, had to end it with her OM, and is suffering from the withdrawal of the affair being over/suspended,

3) she's come to the realization the marriage is in real trouble, while at the same time not wanting to admit that (no MC)

If I am you, I demand she come to MC.
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Old 05-05-2012, 02:45 PM   #182 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

Jerry, if you do leave the houplumage sure to drop a VAR somewhere.
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Old 05-05-2012, 02:49 PM   #183 (permalink)
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Jerry, if you do leave the houplumage sure to drop a VAR somewhere.
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Yup, I will just back off. Left the VAR in our bedroom. I will listen to it later. Yes, I think she knows her control is over. And is depressed about it.
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Old 05-05-2012, 02:53 PM   #184 (permalink)
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Be strong and the "new" you. Anything new on the VAR/GPS ? Did she throw the " you have no proof" line out again today ?? The 1st talk you had when you lost it -- she said you have no proof. The 2nd talk she was more calm and not defensive and you said it went well. Try and back off a little today -- it sounds like you may need to just take a break for a couple of days and have some fun. Remember -- the new you. You have been in this "funk" for a while thinking she is cheating -- she just found out a couple of days ago and is absorbing all of this. Not to make any excuses here -- just trying to see both sides. I know you said you were going to wait to try anything physical -- maybe rethink that plan -- minus the "demand" for the BJ. That would be something the "old" Jerry would ask for.
Nope, have not brought up my susp. and won't. She has not said "proof" anymore since it is not discussed. She said no and I dropped it. But I can tell she depressed about something and does not even want to talk today. So I left nicely with my son and when I get back I will not fight with her, just go about my day.
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Old 05-05-2012, 02:57 PM   #185 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

Oopps, I meant to say house. Lol.

She spends most of her time in the bedroom?
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Old 05-05-2012, 02:57 PM   #186 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

I really wonder if she might have been seeing someone and dumped them because you were getting suspicious.
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Old 05-05-2012, 03:01 PM   #187 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

When the proof thing comes up again. Tell her it looks like you've got it. Then stall for a bit and watch her, and then take her to a mirror an tell her the guilt is wriiten all over her face.

Insist on marriage counseling with the one you picked. Tell her if the two of you don't agree she is any good you can find another. Tell her by not going to MC she is obviously trying to hide something, like an affair.
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Old 05-05-2012, 03:04 PM   #188 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

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Nope, have not brought up my susp. and won't. She has not said "proof" anymore since it is not discussed. She said no and I dropped it. But I can tell she depressed about something and does not even want to talk today. So I left nicely with my son and when I get back I will not fight with her, just go about my day.
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You can be a concerned husband and ask her "what's wrong honey?" Stay in as good humor as you can pass off.

VAR is not going to work if she is using a phone you can't crack. A hidden camera might catch her texting as soon as you leave though.
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Old 05-05-2012, 03:06 PM   #189 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

She's not interested in going to MC and she's actively avoiding you.

If she's innocent of the affair, then you could conjecture that she is pissed off at the false accusations.

But if she's guilty, then it's fair to say she wants to continue right on with the affair and you are nothing more to her than an annoyance.
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Old 05-05-2012, 03:43 PM   #190 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

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I really wonder if she might have been seeing someone and dumped them because you were getting suspicious.
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Yes, this could be it. Or just because she doesn't like the changes that are beginning to form. Her life was in her control, husband taking care of the house while she rakes in the money and does her thing. That little "perfect" life is about to change.
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Old 05-05-2012, 04:24 PM   #191 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

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Yes, this could be it. Or just because she doesn't like the changes that are beginning to form. Her life was in her control, husband taking care of the house while she rakes in the money and does her thing. That little "perfect" life is about to change.
yup, she is now sleeping for the 2nd time today. 2 naps and sleeped till 8:30 AM. She won't even talk to me. I am just doing my thing right now. Then if she gets up i will make sure she sees me looking on monster.com.

I kind of think her perfect world is coming down around her...should be an interesting night.
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Old 05-05-2012, 04:27 PM   #192 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

She hasn't mentioned anything? She just quit talking?
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Old 05-05-2012, 04:32 PM   #193 (permalink)
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She hasn't mentioned anything? She just quit talking?
Not much at all other than telling me this morning that she wants me to go alone to MC, and critiqued the MC because of the college she went to. She is trying to be a ***** to me this morning. I just left and then took my son shopping. Now she had been sleeping for a total of 4 hours since 8:30 am. I really think reality is hitting her. And I'm kind of enjoying seeing her feel like I have been for the last month.
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Old 05-05-2012, 04:37 PM   #194 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

Poor Mrs. jerry123, she can't have her cake and eat it too.
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Old 05-05-2012, 04:39 PM   #195 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

Don't be cruel, but also be mindful of caving too quickly as well.

You are at least getting her attention.
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