Jerry, I wish you had stop right in the middle and pulled the phone from the drawer after the 4th time. You knew there was 4 msgs at that time. The only drawback, you would have exposed your suspicions again. Risk/reward, I would have. So next time if the situtiation occur, and you see her acting shady and watching the phone, be ready. But only in the same situtiation when you know she has not had a chance to get to it like then.
jerry quick question, you said she has been sneeky with her phone lately, and got upset that/if you follow her to your bedroom (where she usually does her texting), since you are becoming the more dominate figure, why didnt you question this behavior of hers? Also, when her routine is to go up stair after dinner to "watch her shows" why aren't you joining in on this since we now know she is hidding something? Change your routine with her, when she gets mad or upset, and seems like she is seeking privacy, stand your ground.
jerry quick question, you said she has been sneeky with her phone lately, and got upset that/if you follow her to your bedroom (where she usually does her texting), since you are becoming the more dominate figure, why didnt you question this behavior of hers? Also, when her routine is to go up stair after dinner to "watch her shows" why aren't you joining in on this since we now know she is hidding something? Change your routine with her, when she gets mad or upset, and seems like she is seeking privacy, stand your ground.
That's just it, I am leaving dishes after dinner. Going up stairs and sitting with her. Last night was a bit of an argument when she seen the dishes sitting there. She thought I left them there for her which i explained I would just do them later or in morning.
Also, I talked about how there is no intimacy in our marriage. Other than sex she does not hug, kiss, say I love u out of the blue. She tells me that married people don't do that all the time. So I realize I should read that book "5 love languages " I think it's called.
I realize she thinks there are other ways she shows me love. Hers are just not the way I would like to be shown.
I also will scale back trying to make her be more intimate. If she does in the future that's fine, if not then I can't make her...
I will stay focused on my goal of changing myself, keeping fit, being more Alpha less Beta.
I know I said I would take a break from TAM, but there is great advice here. I will just take a break from writing about every little suspicion I get. Hey, there could be nothing going on at all but I truly believe if there is I eventually will find out. Posted via Mobile Device
That's just it, I am leaving dishes after dinner. Going up stairs and sitting with her. Last night was a bit of an argument when she seen the dishes sitting there. She thought I left them there for her which i explained I would just do them later or in morning.
Also, I talked about how there is no intimacy in our marriage. Other than sex she does not hug, kiss, say I love u out of the blue. She tells me that married people don't do that all the time. So I realize I should read that book "5 love languages " I think it's called.
I realize she thinks there are other ways she shows me love. Hers are just not the way I would like to be shown.
I also will scale back trying to make her be more intimate. If she does in the future that's fine, if not then I can't make her...
I will stay focused on my goal of changing myself, keeping fit, being more Alpha less Beta.
I know I said I would take a break from TAM, but there is great advice here. I will just take a break from writing about every little suspicion I get. Hey, there could be nothing going on at all but I truly believe if there is I eventually will find out. Posted via Mobile Device
I like your plan --
Did you get a chance to make an IC appointment for yourself this week before MC on Saturday ?
Did you get a chance to make an IC appointment for yourself this week before MC on Saturday ?
No, I was going to and talk about what I heard on VAR but decided against it. It does bring up red flags but still no concrete proof. If it were her reading the text and it saying stuff like "I wish I were laying there right now with you" then I would be worried but what she read could be interpreted as many things.
Trust me, I'm not dumb and the things she said and have done the hour I was gone is not normal. But I have learned to just keep my eyes/ears open till she does mess up. Posted via Mobile Device
I like your plan to. By the way, my wife does not say I love you much or any outward signs of affection. That is just her way.
But she does convey her love to me in other ways. We actually have conversations by various looks and hand signals. Our 3 daughters get a kick out of these silent conversations.
Then again after being with someone 27 years we better communicate in some fashion.
Just stop looking at every action of your wife's in microscopic detail or you will make yourself paranoid.
Work on yourself, work on your Alpha and keep being the husband and dad you are today.
If your wife is screwing around or having a power trip in her head you will eventually get to the bottom of it.
Blind trust has been proven over and over to be false security. The more I see/read, I think most anyone may fall to temptation. Keep working on yourself, get back to work and keep your eyes/ears open. Keep the VAR in her car and one in the bedroom. I really think you should put a camera in the bedroom but that may be a little much.
The Five Love Languages has a test for you both on line that could be fun for you both.
Blind trust has been proven over and over to be false security. The more I see/read, I think most anyone may fall to temptation. Keep working on yourself, get back to work and keep your eyes/ears open. Keep the VAR in her car and one in the bedroom. I really think you should put a camera in the bedroom but that may be a little much.
The Five Love Languages has a test for you both on line that could be fun for you both.
Most of all take back your life and be the husband/ dad you can be.
Thanks for the link...I did get that mini camera for $15 that someone posted in a thread. It's bare bones but will look at setting it up in bedroom. Posted via Mobile Device
Just take your time Jerry. As long as you are dominating her in bed and keeping her satisfied, she will continue feeling comfortable doing whatever it is she is doing on the BB. Time is on your side. She will slip up eventually and the VAR, and now the camera, will catch her. If she's innocent, then you still get some nice movies of your wife as souvenirs.
Stay on the path you are going with the working out, reading and self improvement. Those things will pay future dividends whether your marriage survives or not. Posted via Mobile Device
No, I was going to and talk about what I heard on VAR but decided against it. It does bring up red flags but still no concrete proof. If it were her reading the text and it saying stuff like "I wish I were laying there right now with you" then I would be worried but what she read could be interpreted as many things.
Trust me, I'm not dumb and the things she said and have done the hour I was gone is not normal. But I have learned to just keep my eyes/ears open till she does mess up. Posted via Mobile Device
yes, i agree, this is not solid evidence. If you bring this up there will just be question marks towards you and you would be showing your hand with the spyware... just continue to monitor and something will keep poping up and we will then be able to piece the puzzle together... hopefully
Found how to remove spy bubble from her phone via their web site...
Blackberry Phones
To uninstall the application from a Blackberry device:
On the Blackberry device:
Step 1:
Press the Blackberry key->Options(wrench)->Applications->Select application to delete->Delete->Restart phone
Step 2:
Press the Blackberry key->Applications->Files->All Files->Locate Log.txt and Rimkey.txt files and delete both.
Step 3:
Remove the battery from the phone for 1 minute then reinsert battery. Phone will restart. If the phone does not restart automatically turn the phone on manually.
Step 4:
Reinstall the desired application by referring to that applications page in your user manual.
Grabbed her phone this morning while she was in shower, did what it says but low and behold...App was not there to delete. Don't know if it is supposed to be hidden but there was no application to delete.
Also, i was able to look on phone because she just checked it before shower. I also believe she may have changed password but if i would go ahead and try password it will show up as it being tried once. Need my son for this in near future...
I've been acting a bit different to her after she questioned me about the notification coming up. Kind of like i know something. She seems a bit nervous the last few days...
Found how to remove spy bubble from her phone via their web site...
Blackberry Phones
To uninstall the application from a Blackberry device:
On the Blackberry device:
Step 1:
Press the Blackberry key->Options(wrench)->Applications->Select application to delete->Delete->Restart phone
Step 2:
Press the Blackberry key->Applications->Files->All Files->Locate Log.txt and Rimkey.txt files and delete both.
Step 3:
Remove the battery from the phone for 1 minute then reinsert battery. Phone will restart. If the phone does not restart automatically turn the phone on manually.
Step 4:
Reinstall the desired application by referring to that applications page in your user manual.
Grabbed her phone this morning while she was in shower, did what it says but low and behold...App was not there to delete. Don't know if it is supposed to be hidden but there was no application to delete.
Also, i was able to look on phone because she just checked it before shower. I also believe she may have changed password but if i would go ahead and try password it will show up as it being tried once. Need my son for this in near future...
I've been acting a bit different to her after she questioned me about the notification coming up. Kind of like i know something. She seems a bit nervous the last few days...
I don't get this. You were able to see her phone, but you think she may have changed the password? How did you see the phone then?
Grabbed her phone this morning while she was in shower, did what it says but low and behold...App was not there to delete. Don't know if it is supposed to be hidden but there was no application to delete.
Also, i was able to look on phone because she just checked it before shower. I also believe she may have changed password but if i would go ahead and try password it will show up as it being tried once. Need my son for this in near future...
I've been acting a bit different to her after she questioned me about the notification coming up. Kind of like i know something. She seems a bit nervous the last few days...
I don't get this. You were able to see her phone, but you think she may have changed the password? How did you see the phone then?
She changes the allowed login time quite often. Last Friday it was every minute the phone was idle you would need to enter password. That was the day I was at IC and VAR picked up her checking phone 10-12 times in a span of 5 minutes while waiting for me to get back. It also picked up her running down the stairs looking out front door window to see of I was coming up road. Then running back to drawer to get phone and continue checking. Pulling in and out of drawer. The shades were drawn by her and I can tell she did not want to peak through shade in case I might have seen her. So hence, her running down the stairs getting to almost bottom and looking out the small window near our front door.
Over the weekend the login time was changed to 20-30 minutes... Posted via Mobile Device
661Likes
Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story... 
