Get in counseling but continue to watch and monitor.
Tell her that it's the neighbor acting really funny around you that has set you wondering, tell her about comments he has made which alluded to him wanting to hookup with her,followed by him being standoffish and weird around you.
Then sit back and say that the horrible communications the two of have been having have left you feeling she was pushing you away, and you are trying to figure out what can be happening here. Posted via Mobile Device
Im not sure about this, should he really name one person, or just her being cold?
The best strategy here is to tell the truth since he won't be caught later in a lie that way. But he must not tell her about the checking up he's doing in case it's true.
This gives him the chance to throw it out there and see the reaction, it also might trigger her contacting him and getting it on the var. Posted via Mobile Device
Keko, I think he should not only name the person, but recite all the examples he detailed on this forum. These examples will validate his concerns and his wife will be more receptive to that than him just saying, "you're being cold". I think Shaggy's advice is spot on.
I mean, this all started because of the neighbor's behavior (and hers). So call a duck a duck and let her explain these situations.
Keko, I think he should not only name the person, but recite all the examples he detailed on this forum. These examples will validate his concerns and his wife will be more receptive to that than him just saying, "you're being cold". I think Shaggy's advice is spot on.
I mean, this all started because of the neighbor's behavior (and hers). So call a duck a duck and let her explain these situations.
I was tempted not to reveal his name to her but i think bringing it all out will justify my suspicions.
She wants me to tell her why i am accusing her. Thing is, it will be weird if he happens to come by and we are on our deck or playing outside with kid. I'm sure she will notice me trying to notice her reaction if he says hello.
I was tempted not to reveal his name to her but i think bringing it all out will justify my suspicions.
She wants me to tell her why i am accusing her. Thing is, it will be weird if he happens to come by and we are on our deck or playing outside with kid. I'm sure she will notice me trying to notice her reaction if he says hello.
I would suggest telling her when the kid is in bed and you are both alone. If he were to show up then for whatever reason....that would be very suspicious since he has not been over and spoke to you in awhile per your posts.
So you agreed with my longer post, but disagree now?
It's your life, but I'm with Shaggy - I think you need to tell her exactly why you were being suspicious because the cat's out of the bag anyway, and you've riled her up. You can't dance around this now. The only thing that will justify your suspicions is to tell her EXACTLY what it was making you suspcious. Did you change your mind now?
Excuse me, but F*CK being weird. Who cares if it's weird. Sh*t, don't you think it's "weird" already? Isn't it weird if he was messing around with your wife? Come on, man, stop making excuses.
It's already weird with him, but at least if you tell her it's you and her against him, where as right now you are worried that it's him and her against you. Posted via Mobile Device
I'm in agreement with Shaggy and Gabriel. Tell her about the neighbor and tell her about her behavior lately. Let her know you see the two of you drifting apart and want to go to counseling to make sure your marriage stays on solid ground. If she disagrees with you ask her if she want to stay married.
And for God's sake stop calling her controlling. Nobody can control anyone else. If she is controlling its because you are letting her.
I'm in agreement with Shaggy and Gabriel. Tell her about the neighbor and tell her about her behavior lately. Let her know you see the two of you drifting apart and want to go to counseling to make sure your marriage stays on solid ground. If she disagrees with you ask her if she want to stay married.
And for God's sake stop calling her controlling. Nobody can control anyone else. If she is controlling its because you are letting her.
I know, that will stop right away. Even with her pissed now i will justify why i feel this way.
So you agreed with my longer post, but disagree now?
It's your life, but I'm with Shaggy - I think you need to tell her exactly why you were being suspicious because the cat's out of the bag anyway, and you've riled her up. You can't dance around this now. The only thing that will justify your suspicions is to tell her EXACTLY what it was making you suspcious. Did you change your mind now?
Excuse me, but F*CK being weird. Who cares if it's weird. Sh*t, don't you think it's "weird" already? Isn't it weird if he was messing around with your wife? Come on, man, stop making excuses.
no i agree, just want this feeling like this to end. We do have our issues, and being a SAHD and her thinking she has more control in the marriage just sickens me. It's been going on for years and i know realize it's me letting it keep happening.
But don't reveal anything that comes from spying like the var and her singing the birthday song or else she will turn the tables really fast and make it about invading privacy
Yes, ask her about the phone. It has to be good explanation. If she cites privacy (which she most certainly will), ask her to elaborate what kind of information is so sensitive as to keep it from her faithful husband of N years.
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Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story... 
