Update: VAR picked up strange saying by my wife as soon as she left for work yesterday. We had a normal discussion right before she left, can't remember exactly what it was.
She gets in car, sits on seat and laugh's(snide laugh) then says "oh yeah, i'm beating him"
Which i can only think it was her laughing and thinking she still has the upper hand in this new "me". And she thinks by beating me at "something" is keeping the old way it used to be...
I am trying to think back at what we talked about in the morning. But, my gut tells me she is trying her hardest to shut me up and look as if she is giving me what i want in this marriage but at the same time playing that power game of things are not going to be different.
If she is doing this, my wife is a very strange, power hungry woman.
She could have been talking about a guy at a stop light, stop sign, changing lanes , anything. Sounds like something I would say if I thought someone was dissing me or I was trying to get away from a light and change lanes.
There is no way to take this comment while driving a car to be taken personally. Jerry, you are becoming to willing to jump to conclusions. Occams razor is right, in a car its most likely to be a driving situation. Y
Your convo was evidently so innocuous you don't remember it but you think it set her off.
She could have been talking about a guy at a stop light, stop sign, changing lanes , anything. Sounds like something I would say if I thought someone was dissing me or I was trying to get away from a light and change lanes.
There is no way to take this comment while driving a car to be taken personally. Jerry, you are becoming to willing to jump to conclusions. Occams razor is right, in a car its most likely to be a driving situation.
Your convo was evidently so innocuous you don't remember it but you think it set her off.
She said comment while getting in car right after we talked in morning. I can confirm that. Posted via Mobile Device
And yet the conversation was so meaningless you can't even remember the subject. How in the world could a pointless chat trigger the response you believe you have recorded? I would urge caution here pal, the fact is that over weeks of investigation you have nothing other than two, difficult to interpret sentences muttered to no one in particular. I'm sure glad my wife isn't recording my personal thoughts and then jumping to conclusions. The fact is, you have shaken up her world and this may be just one small way she is keeping herself together as she adjusts.
She said comment while getting in car right after we talked in morning. I can confirm that. Posted via Mobile Device
I would not say you are wrong and I haven't used a recent model VAR. How does the timing mechanism work? How do you know,for example, the time anything in particualar is said. I assume you heard the door slam. Car start and her remark. How do you know how much time has elapsed between events?
Doesn't the VAR start and stop when it detects sound?
In any event, if its about you, ask her this. " Honey you seemed upset with me this morning when you left. I can't remember what I even said can you remind me? I really did not mean to hurt your feelings." Say this with strength and self confidence but not with condecension.
BTW, if you want a hug go get one. I don't think of hugging my wife if she said she had a bad day but we do hug a lot.
Update: VAR picked up strange saying by my wife as soon as she left for work yesterday. We had a normal discussion right before she left, can't remember exactly what it was.
She gets in car, sits on seat and laugh's(snide laugh) then says "oh yeah, i'm beating him"
Which i can only think it was her laughing and thinking she still has the upper hand in this new "me". And she thinks by beating me at "something" is keeping the old way it used to be...
I am trying to think back at what we talked about in the morning. But, my gut tells me she is trying her hardest to shut me up and look as if she is giving me what i want in this marriage but at the same time playing that power game of things are not going to be different.
If she is doing this, my wife is a very strange, power hungry woman.
No, it was totally about me. I am racking my head to figure out exact discussion.
And she is back to her same old ways. Comes home, eats, goes upstairs. Does not offer to help.
She even told MC that her job is to go to work and my job is to stay home and do what i do.
Then she tells the MC that she does not expect me to come to her job and do her work, so i should not expect her to do my job....what a nice/kind wife i have!! NOT!!!
So the children are not her responsibility?
Wow! That's kind of F***ed up, IMO!
Seems to me she might not be having an affair, if only because she loves herself too much to bother!
[QUOTE=Complexity; Whether it's something evolutionarily or psychological, women do not like being the primary breadwinners. And despite what they say, sooner or later nature kicks in
I agree. and she has developed it into a power game where she has to be on top. She may have cheated in the pass, but it seem her whole focus is only on control. Manipulating where she can, or relenting a little to "shut you up", until she can go back to having things her way. The sex,,, thats a bonus for her now,but also for you, so don't cut off your nose to spite your face. You both are winning in that regard. Look at that way she's gone back to her normal evening. She give a little help on the weekend, go MC, let you take her anyway you want, and says, Yeah I'm Beating Him. If she cheated, it was nothing more than another one up in the overall power trip. You probably didn't even mention going back to work the whole weekend, or at least since the MC session, so feel she is still winning. Did you look at the job ads this weekend ?? It is just not normal for a woman not to have a few friends, or work friends. It seem her whole focus is on you two
She said comment while getting in car right after we talked in morning. I can confirm that. Posted via Mobile Device
In Jerry's (and I guess mine by extension) defense with believing that the wife's comment was directed at him...
This is what is missing from the argument that it could be anything.
Jerry stated that the comment was made "as soon as she got in the car" to paraphrase. Not down the road. Or after a stoplight.
In taking that into consideration, it is not unreasonable to conclude that it was directed at him. I understand the idea that it could have been anything when taken out of a true context.
That is why I linked Slick Willy Ockham...
what is the simpliest hypothesis when
Discussion with Jerry>leaving house and walking to car>get in car> "oh yeah i've beaten him"
is taken into consideration as her next movements.
If that is taken as the true course of events..
what else could it be that beats the "it was about Jerry" hypothesis?
And yet the conversation was so meaningless you can't even remember the subject. How in the world could a pointless chat trigger the response you believe you have recorded? I would urge caution here pal, the fact is that over weeks of investigation you have nothing other than two, difficult to interpret sentences muttered to no one in particular. I'm sure glad my wife isn't recording my personal thoughts and then jumping to conclusions. The fact is, you have shaken up her world and this may be just one small way she is keeping herself together as she adjusts.
You. Just. Don't. Know. Posted via Mobile Device
I will say this again.
For an ultra competitive person...
The basis of the conversation does not matter.
It could have been about ants. Tiddlywinks. Bird dogs. An@l Sex. Doesn't matter.
The win is the important thing. It's all about the W.
Don't stop the dominant sex. Right now that is the ONLY positive that seems to be occuring in your relationship right now. Milk it for what it's worth while you can.
The VAR is going to reveal alot more. Stow this last episode away and wait some more. If she is having an affair, she will screw up and reveal it.
you see Jerry, it wasn't about the chat in the morning, I believe she thinks she is still winning after all you have done. The morning chat was normal, so she see it as meaning no more demands from you during the weekend. So all systems are go. Or, since you didn't mention cheating or separating at the MC, she is still winning. BUT, you know what ??? THATS ALL GOOD !!! That mean she figure its safe to hook up, so that gives you more chances to BUST her A**. So be on our toes this week, maybe find a reason or two to show up to take her to lunch or something. Or just be in the general area at lunch time and see if she goes out. This really could be the week, since she is so confident. Especially if you just happen to see that neighbor in the area since he is back.
Jerry did you ever directly ask her why she was crying during the MC (sorry if you did mention it). I do remember you assuming it was because she feels like her "power" is shifting a bit. But did you get the real reason, her reason.
Also, you are committed to changing yourself, have you made a step in that direction (i.e. job hunted, enrolled in school, etc.)
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Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story... 
