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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 05-04-2012, 09:38 AM   #106 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

Wow. If she never rejects you, you are waaaay ahead of the game.
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Old 05-04-2012, 10:25 AM   #107 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

Jerry, I know you said she never go on the computer at home, but, she may have set it up to log on remotely, when she started back in Nov. to see if you was suspicious. And she may be still monitoring from her office now. That may be why she was signing the birthday song, knowing about the VAR. just to mind f**k you. That may be why she said you had no proof. And hiding her hands, knowing you would be looking for signs. Can you tell if she log on remotely ?? You said she knows the trouble she would be in if found out, so as smart as she thinks she is, she would not even start something without making sure she could keep watch and be able end run your suspicion. I really am starting to think she is monitoring somehow. Like you said, she thinks she wears the pants and is so smart. So her ego would really get a kick out of this.
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Old 05-04-2012, 10:31 AM   #108 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

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Originally Posted by OldWolf57 View Post
Jerry, I know you said she never go on the computer at home, but, she may have set it up to log on remotely, when she started back in Nov. to see if you was suspicious. And she may be still monitoring from her office now. That may be why she was signing the birthday song, knowing about the VAR. just to mind f**k you. That may be why she said you had no proof. And hiding her hands, knowing you would be looking for signs. Can you tell if she log on remotely ?? You said she knows the trouble she would be in if found out, so as smart as she thinks she is, she would not even start something without making sure she could keep watch and be able end run your suspicion. I really am starting to think she is monitoring somehow. Like you said, she thinks she wears the pants and is so smart. So her ego would really get a kick out of this.
I agree with what Oldwolf said. I meant to post something similar earlier.
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Old 05-04-2012, 10:35 AM   #109 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

Occam's Razor.

While it is possible she is really a master counter-spy setting you up and teasing you with her every choice and movement, it is incredibly unlikely. Would she be so devious and heartless to tease you with vague clues with potential implications? All the while laughing and thinking of the misery she is causing you?

If any of that has the potential to be true, then there is a lot more here to worry about than if she had sex with your neighbor.
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Old 05-04-2012, 11:03 AM   #110 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

we've learned on here that many WW get off having one up on the OP, read some threads. She said she must not have as much empathy as most ppl. She may not see it as doing long term harm, then again, WW in fog do really strange things for self grats. What wife puts down her husband in front of other ppl, if it wasn't for ego ?? And she don't have to be a master counter spy. But she is someone who does big $$ deals. So she is a master thinker on her feet, and is always looking for the advantage for counters moves.

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Old 05-04-2012, 11:37 AM   #111 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

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Jerry, I know you said she never go on the computer at home, but, she may have set it up to log on remotely, when she started back in Nov. to see if you was suspicious. And she may be still monitoring from her office now. That may be why she was signing the birthday song, knowing about the VAR. just to mind f**k you. That may be why she said you had no proof. And hiding her hands, knowing you would be looking for signs. Can you tell if she log on remotely ?? You said she knows the trouble she would be in if found out, so as smart as she thinks she is, she would not even start something without making sure she could keep watch and be able end run your suspicion. I really am starting to think she is monitoring somehow. Like you said, she thinks she wears the pants and is so smart. So her ego would really get a kick out of this.
She is not computer smart...plus if she is using a key logger i heard you can check by hitting Control/alt/delete and checking for (2) winlogin.exe running. There should only be 1.
Also, can't i check with my remote login on computer to see if someone is on?
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Old 05-04-2012, 11:39 AM   #112 (permalink)
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I agree with what Oldwolf said. I meant to post something similar earlier.
Nah, I don't believe any of that in this case.

His wife has slowly lost respect for Jerry due to the gender roles they play. She says she wants him at home, because it is the least path of resistance, but little does she know, him going to work is going to be good for their marriage, and her feelings toward him.

I kind of relate to her, in a way. He hasn't done anything new to wow her, so she feels more and more ambivalent to him. Other things may excite her a little, like this neighbor. But I think it was just a little excitement, and not a real affair. Now Jerry is taking action, and his wife is watching him in wonderment, not really knowing what to make of it.
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Old 05-04-2012, 11:46 AM   #113 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

Gab, you could be right. I'm just not a trusting person. But Jerry, how can she do her job, not being computer lit. ?? What Biz don't require their main ppl to know how to handle them ?? What kind of job does she have, that can pay so much that you can stay home, but don't have to know how to navigate power point, and word ??
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Old 05-04-2012, 12:01 PM   #114 (permalink)
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Gab, you could be right. I'm just not a trusting person. But Jerry, how can she do her job, not being computer lit. ?? What Biz don't require their main ppl to know how to handle them ?? What kind of job does she have, that can pay so much that you can stay home, but don't have to know how to navigate power point, and word ??
Without telling too much, she is a VP in one of the dept. of an well known insurance company. She makes over $220,000 a year. Her job basically has nothing to do with computers. More like getting high skilled geeks to work at company for the risk mgt. of said ins. company so they can better gauge risk for customers.

Funny thing is, after telling her i will be looking for job she keeps saying i should stay home. I tell her this morning i need a change and i can't deal with just talking to a 5 year old all day. I told her i need to get out talk to adults at a job. I can already tell this is breaking down her dominating ways.

+1 for me so far!!!

Also, i show her on monster.com how my pay scale has gone up 35% since i quit to be SAHD. I secretly show her how excited i am to hear that. Lets' se how this weekend will go. She is close to her period (not till tuesday) but the book MMSG says she still may be horny but during her period you need to scale back because it's a low point of month for her. So, i will not be to dominating but still won't take any crap. That book may just be the help i need other than a MC.
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Old 05-04-2012, 12:03 PM   #115 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

Jerry, is she an actuary by chance?
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Old 05-04-2012, 12:06 PM   #116 (permalink)
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Nah, I don't believe any of that in this case.

His wife has slowly lost respect for Jerry due to the gender roles they play. She says she wants him at home, because it is the least path of resistance, but little does she know, him going to work is going to be good for their marriage, and her feelings toward him.

I kind of relate to her, in a way. He hasn't done anything new to wow her, so she feels more and more ambivalent to him. Other things may excite her a little, like this neighbor. But I think it was just a little excitement, and not a real affair. Now Jerry is taking action, and his wife is watching him in wonderment, not really knowing what to make of it.
Yes, she never expected me to tell her i am getting a job. On top of me working out and looking very good (IMHO). Caught her rubbing my muscles this morning. Not to have sex but little things like that can tell me a lot.
Also, she has turned a 180 degrees on being mad/angry about me accusing her but that could mean she is seeing a change in me or she pulled wool over my eyes about my accusation and sees i probably believes her and is just acting. But only time will tell.
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Old 05-04-2012, 12:07 PM   #117 (permalink)
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Jerry, is she an actuary by chance?
She is not, she just tries and hires them for her company.
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Old 05-04-2012, 12:38 PM   #118 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

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Yes, she never expected me to tell her i am getting a job. On top of me working out and looking very good (IMHO). Caught her rubbing my muscles this morning. Not to have sex but little things like that can tell me a lot.
Also, she has turned a 180 degrees on being mad/angry about me accusing her but that could mean she is seeing a change in me or she pulled wool over my eyes about my accusation and sees i probably believes her and is just acting. But only time will tell.
Jerry -- have a nice weekend. One poster said earlier to stop the obsession -- just like this post "she pulled wool over my eyes about my accusation and sees i probably believes her and is just acting". Focus on the positives and the "new" you and her. I don't know if she is lying to you -- but there is no definite proof except the games your mind is playing on you. I hope that you can trust her 100% again with help and better communication with each other -- and that she has and will remain committed to you, your marriage and your family.
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Old 05-04-2012, 12:49 PM   #119 (permalink)
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Jerry -- have a nice weekend. One poster said earlier to stop the obsession -- just like this post "she pulled wool over my eyes about my accusation and sees i probably believes her and is just acting". Focus on the positives and the "new" you and her. I don't know if she is lying to you -- but there is no definite proof except the games your mind is playing on you. I hope that you can trust her 100% again with help and better communication with each other -- and that she has and will remain committed to you, your marriage and your family.
I know...just trying to throw a joke or 2 but i feel better already. Have a nice weekend also.

BTW, i already plan on getting no sex this weekend and won't care. That way if i do get sex, great, if i don't then nothing is lost. My objective is to keep up with job search and let her know there will be changes in this marriage and say it with force and meaning. Then during her "high/horny" time in a few weeks i will implement Alpha on her...thanks to the great book "the married mans sex guide".
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Old 05-04-2012, 12:54 PM   #120 (permalink)
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Default Re: New thread, update to ok, here is my story...

My guess is that she's an experienced cheater. And you don't to be experienced without having a lot of practice at it. She probably goes to those cheater sites too and gets advice on how to cheat without getting caught.
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