My x cheated w/ a old friend from HS, she found him on FB. She had other lovers, all from FB, all while we were married. She told me to go out and even the score, I never did but in 3days I had an offer for sex, just sex.
We are almost done w/ the divorce.
I joined FB to keep in contact w/ family and some friends.
2 weeks ago I get a friend request from a woman(who is married w/ kids) I used to know, we had sex once. I accept and send her a PM back. She writes to me and a conversation is started. She is friends w/ my XGF from HS so we have lots to talk about. She asks me to come over, I ignor her but continue to message back....she asks me over again, and again, and a fourth time but then she comes out and asks "why won't you answer me about coming to see me?" Simple responce, "ur married" she continues to tell me she doesn't like sex w/ him, he's cheating on her, she's not happy....please come see her.. Well I pulled every quote from the bible I know, gave her ideas on how to spice up her marriage ETC...she even asked I call her but I told her if I did it would be to talk her into having sex...w/ her husband.
She kept this up for a few days, I text my 'ol GF and asked what her deal was, (she knows I'm not like that, I'd never go see a married woman) she tells me her H just had a stroke, he's home and doing better but still can't work. HMMMM What did she have in mind? IDK but Bob, if ur out there, ur welcome, watch out she'll find a sucker to cross that bridge w/, it just aint me.
Mouse
Deleting ourselves from facebook was one of the best things hubby and I have done to start our marriage again after his infidelity. And it didn't even have anything to do with facebook.
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This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.”
The use of things like Facebook has hampered many people from actually being able to form and maintain relationships.
Face to face = stimulating relationships
Facebook = simulating relationships.
It's so easy to be someone else, act differently, temporaraly alter perceptions and behaviours online. People don't get to see the you who gets out of bed. The you who feels down. The you who is tired and wants some alone time. The you who has just had a huge disagreement with the boss and wants to strangle someone. The you who gets bored.
That's why internet - inparticularly facebook - relationships can ONLY be built on fantasy. It becomes two people lying to each other about who they really are and then lying to their partners to protect that self-created, false version of reality.
It's not real.
Until time passes, the physical meetings become more and more, then, usually after they've been discovered, their marriage ended and they are set to be together, the real traits come through.
It's not suprising that so many affair relationships fall apart.
There was only a simulated relationship between them, not a stimulating one.
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I haven't really thought about the future that much, but when I die I think I'll go back to doing whatever I was doing for the fifteen billion years before I was born.
Don't be so quick to blame FB - many of us use it to share pictures of our grandkids for heaven sakes. The blame should be placed appropriately ... on those who abuse the use of it. FB was created as an avenue for people to stay in touch and communicate with friends and relatives - it's not a "pick up joint". Anyone who uses it to cheat should be banned - gives the whole concept a bad wrap.
FB is where my wifes affair began. I was on there to keep track of my kids. Due to my wife i've deleted my profile. Can't stand to be on there anymore.
It all depends on the purposes you have when using FB.
Different people use it for different reasons. Obviously, you can't blame FB but you can only blame the one who uses it - how and for what.
If you let FB control you then surely it will effect you negatively.
If FB didn't existed, maybe this married woman would contact you through e-mail.
Would you blame the email then?
As I said, facebook has hampered many people from actually being able to form and maintain relationships.
I mentioned nothing about using it as intened: contact with family, keeping in touch with old friends and colleagues who have moved on. Arranging meetings, events etc. Using it as intended is a good thing. My point is that it's abuse and over reliance as a place to 'make' new friends is not based on reality as the 'real' you or them can easily be masked with a false personality and often is. People are keen to stay away from their bad points.
I don't use facebook, beacuse, A most of the people I know I meet in person and prefer to do so, and B, many other people just post pointless, attention seeking b*****t to illicit a response.
So while I won't blame facebook for any marital problems, I firmly believe that many people in society today are quickly losing the art of creating and maintaining stimulating, beneficial relationships, and the ease of hiding oneself away behind a computer screen is a significant part of that.
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I haven't really thought about the future that much, but when I die I think I'll go back to doing whatever I was doing for the fifteen billion years before I was born.
My hubby and I have fb accounts but we rarely get on it. When we do it's to occassionally chat with friends/family but mainly it's to play games like cityville, farmville, or something along those lines for about however long it takes us to use the energy on said game up then we hop off and do other things. We both don't have many friends on fb and the ones we do have.. well they have our number and we have known them for years... in person as well as online.
As I said, facebook has hampered many people from actually being able to form and maintain relationships.
I mentioned nothing about using it as intened: contact with family, keeping in touch with old friends and colleagues who have moved on. Arranging meetings, events etc. Using it as intended is a good thing. My point is that it's abuse and over reliance as a place to 'make' new friends is not based on reality as the 'real' you or them can easily be masked with a false personality and often is. People are keen to stay away from their bad points.
I don't use facebook, beacuse, A most of the people I know I meet in person and prefer to do so, and B, many other people just post pointless, attention seeking b*****t to illicit a response.
So while I won't blame facebook for any marital problems, I firmly believe that many people in society today are quickly losing the art of creating and maintaining stimulating, beneficial relationships, and the ease of hiding oneself away behind a computer screen is a significant part of that.
I see more of that with games such as WoW, chats such as yahoo, but yeah.... whatever it is.. there are those who don't use it for it's intended purpose.
Does a woman who starts an inappropriate relationship on WoW actually arrange a date and expect to meet a 2 foot dwarf with long beard, horned helmet and a huge hammer?
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I haven't really thought about the future that much, but when I die I think I'll go back to doing whatever I was doing for the fifteen billion years before I was born.
Totally agree with your last sentence Gaia - I actually saw a post on FB this morning that showed an older couple. When asked how they managed 65 years of marriage, the woman said "we grew up in a time when if things were broken, you fixed them ... you didn't throw them away."
The Internet (FB included) makes it too easy for people to escape the real world and enter into fantasy land instead of working out any issues or problems in their relationships.
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FB, it's so easy 
