__________________
This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.”
Mine is like most of life. Some details I remember others I don't. I'd say all in all you can expect someone to remember about the same level of detail and have about the same level of recall that they do with the rest of their lives. Regardless of what they'll admit to.
I still remember ever detail of my emotional affair turned PA (no sex..ever O.o ) from 2001. But I also remember my best friend's phone number from 3rd grade and what I was wearing on my first date. I don't forget much.
I remember every act, every talk, every thought. I don't remember exact dates, but I am awful with dates and days of the week because in my line of work, it doesn't matter.
I had my affairs in the fall of 2009 (there were two). I couldn't tell you the dates we met, although I could give rough approximations. To be honest, I'd have to look up their last names, if I was pressed for them. But my memory sucks in general.
But the "I don't remember" line is a pretty common defense, whether it's in the courtroom or the bedroom... Only your spouse knows whether they're being truthful to you.
__________________
I haven't really thought about the future that much, but when I die I think I'll go back to doing whatever I was doing for the fifteen billion years before I was born.
I think some cheaters have "selective memory" when they're asked about the A - or the OP - but deep down, I'm willing to bet they have a lot of memories that never come to the surface when coming clean with their spouse.
Do you remember details and dates about the affair? And then when asked say I don't recall?
Too recent to forget, although I did truly go fuzzy on the exact date recently. But life has been in turmoil for a while, so I can hardly remember what month it is most of the time.
But now, I didn't say I don't recall. I gave a range, only because I seriously couldn't remember the exact date at the time. Now I can, but it hardly matters. If he wants the exact date, he can have it.
My husband doesn't remember stuff that he's compartmentalized, as he did with his affair. Oh, he remembers the broad strokes, but specifics are forgotten. I think it's a useful tool for him. He can't feel guilty about what he can't remember. He's constantly surprised and saying things like "I never said that, did I?" and "Are you sure that happened?" when we talk about his affair. So, all the truly cruel and hurtful things he said and did during his affair he's just forgotten. It's as if they got filed under "affair" instead of "marriage", and apparently since he's no longer having his affair he can't access those files. He's really, really great at compartmentalizing.
Don't remember every detail but remember the 1st night together, things that happened that stood out, remember how the OW looked naked down to almost the exact detail. Even remember her tatoo, what it was and where it was at.
And that was 15 years ago. I don't relive it, but to say you can just forget..
It's called selective memory. Some do push it out to try and forget but most do it as a self defense to protect ourselves.
I think some cheaters have "selective memory" when they're asked about the A - or the OP - but deep down, I'm willing to bet they have a lot of memories that never come to the surface when coming clean with their spouse.
I don't believe in this "selective memory". You either remember all or nothing at all[if you had an accident and your brain is damaged. ]
I'm sure conscious people remember every single detail even when they wish it wasn't so.
5Likes
cheaters? 
