Yes, check with your attoreny. As was said, no fault is the prevailing law in the majority of states.
But not in all ,and it can make a differnce in asset division etc in the states that consider fault.
Yeah, I found it weird coming out like that. I am from Canada and in Canada in most provinces there is a 1 year waiting separation period before a divorce can be granted. However, if there is adultery, this time period is waived and you can apply for immediate divorce - which is what I am going to do and she knows it. So I think she's either going to try to prevent me from doing that OR she's trying to get dirt on me and that's why shes trying to get a hold of this guy - to get dirt on me so that she can save face officially (i.e., he did that and that's why I slept around). But that would make no sense because in Canada there are no fault divorces and all post marital assets are split 50/50. So she has nothing to gain other than saving face (which she'll try to get information on me) or delaying the divorce or trying to salvage the marriage by trying to get this dude to say she never messed around. I know the truth though and she as much as said it and was seen dating this guy and spent night after night out overnight. In Canada, I don't have to prove actual infidelity and with whom - just the reasonable probability that an affair occurred.....
Thanks Happy - I was just out thinking about that - the fact that she never called me up and is still maneouvering behind the scenes speaks volumes about her character as a person.....a person I no longer wish to associate myself with....
You are the one who is left to pick up the pieces. Adultery is a decision and if I ask you, you would more than likely say you preferred it not to happen. You are the innocent one. You did not make the choice, she did. She is the guilty party. All involved in the affair attempt to make the innocent spouse a target for 'their reason to have the affair' and place blame where blame (and shame) should not be. One does not refer to the definition 'innocent spouse' for nothing. I feel your hurt and pain. However, your feelings of guilt, they are unfounded. They, the cheaters are the guilty ones!!!
Thank you Ben for your message - it really helps me. I don't feel the guilt as much anymore because I see the decision to cheat as hers and hers alone...what I have difficulty believing in is karma...i'd like to think there is justice in the world and all I see is her and her boyfriend walsing around having a good time while I at home hurting..theres gotta be some form of justice for this
I don't understand it but there have been several threads in the last several months about long term marriages ending and the formerly loving wife turning Wicked Witch of the West. All without any indeication something was wrong but all of a suuden everything has been wrong for years. I really think it is some kind of mental illness.
As far as karma is concerned,wait a few months, you are going to be shocked more than ever how she looks and acts. I'll bet on it. It won't be pretty.
I don't understand it but there have been several threads in the last several months about long term marriages ending and the formerly loving wife turning Wicked Witch of the West. All without any indeication something was wrong but all of a suuden everything has been wrong for years. I really think it is some kind of mental illness.
As far as karma is concerned,wait a few months, you are going to be shocked more than ever how she looks and acts. I'll bet on it. It won't be pretty.
Yes. there is a lot of this going on. I wonder how many look back years later and regret their behavior.
My first XW, still, 18 years after she was busted, has never expressed remorse. What is it like to live with this?
Just heard an interesting take on my ex and how she is explaining her situation to her and our (some of my former friends since they totally sided with her) friends - she is saying that seeing she didnt start sleeping with the guy until the night she stormed out the door - she never actually cheated on me as we were separated after she walked out the door. She is saying she did the "noble" thing - told me she was leaving and then moving right in with the guy..........what a crock but once again got my head rolling into thinking maybe she's right...when does infidelity actually begin and if you are separated at the time you start sleeping with the AP is that an affair? I'm confused...In my mind, she is splitting hairs and set up the affair and was ready to go all she had to do was get rid of me...but where's her fidelity before this? I think she still did commit adultery.
She is just trying to justify what she did by listing your "faults". Everyone has things they wish they would have done differently. Even maybe some regrets. Both spouses contribute to the marriage problems, but the decision to break the marital vow of fidelity was hers alone.
If she was so miserable, she could have simply filed for divorce and walked away, as countless others (with honor) have done.
Don't let her fool you. You are not responsible for her affair.
Just heard an interesting take on my ex and how she is explaining her situation to her and our (some of my former friends since they totally sided with her) friends - she is saying that seeing she didnt start sleeping with the guy until the night she stormed out the door - she never actually cheated on me as we were separated after she walked out the door. She is saying she did the "noble" thing - told me she was leaving and then moving right in with the guy..........what a crock but once again got my head rolling into thinking maybe she's right...when does infidelity actually begin and if you are separated at the time you start sleeping with the AP is that an affair? I'm confused...In my mind, she is splitting hairs and set up the affair and was ready to go all she had to do was get rid of me...but where's her fidelity before this? I think she still did commit adultery.
I seriously doubt folks will beleive her(unless they are very low functioning).
Even if it were true, she is still married and folks do not have the right to cheat just because of a fight. All couples fight.
Yes. there is a lot of this going on. I wonder how many look back years later and regret their behavior.
My first XW, still, 18 years after she was busted, has never expressed remorse. What is it like to live with this?
He will never get an apology. Remember, cheaters re-write the history of the marriage. That is their coping method for dealing with the guilt of what they did. In her mind, everything she is doing is his fault.
Then, to make it worse, the wayward will often go out and trash the BS to their friends and family to make sure this rewritten history is stamped in the BS's social arena. Pure cowardice.
Just heard an interesting take on my ex and how she is explaining her situation to her and our (some of my former friends since they totally sided with her) friends - she is saying that seeing she didnt start sleeping with the guy until the night she stormed out the door - she never actually cheated on me as we were separated after she walked out the door. She is saying she did the "noble" thing - told me she was leaving and then moving right in with the guy..........what a crock but once again got my head rolling into thinking maybe she's right...when does infidelity actually begin and if you are separated at the time you start sleeping with the AP is that an affair? I'm confused...In my mind, she is splitting hairs and set up the affair and was ready to go all she had to do was get rid of me...but where's her fidelity before this? I think she still did commit adultery.
You're married until the day that divorce decree is signed by a judge.
She cheated. Plain and simple. If your friends don't agree, tell them they are no longer your friends and to go to hell.
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Re: Is it my fault??? 
