Re: My wife cheated with my best friend
Have you wife write a NC letter, you'll find examples oh this site. She shoud show it to you. Then you will send it to the O
M and a copy of it to his wife.
As part of the consequences and her owning the affair she does need to tell her parents. You should also tell mutual friends that would normally be part of the social circle involving the OM and you why you cannot continue to be around the OM, what a piece of thrash the OM is for doing this with you wife, so that they know why can never be around him again, and do they know what kind of man he is.
Your wife need to get tested for STDs since even if she has herpes, the OM may have still given her something too.
As for forgiveness, do bit rush that. So far you are still dealing with the initial shock. Sure she's been around trying to help with that. BUT that isn't at all dealing with how she could repeatedly choose to cheat with him and lie to you. This wasn't a drunken crossing the line with a kiss. This was a deliberately chosen act by her to cheat with him on many occasions.
Don't assume you know the whole truth,don't assume he was the first. All you know know is that the wife you thought could never cheat, is in fact completely capable and willing to cheat, and completely capable of looking you in the eye afterward and lie without guilt. So don't rush to forgive and don't rush to accept it and try to move on. You really need to slow down and honestly rreexamine her and the marriage and see if the person you now see she is, is someone you should be with at all.
Ask her, why you should let her stay with you. And demand an answer beyond sone fluff answer.
Consider her situation, this affair got deep enough that the OM appears to be ready to leave his wife for yours. That means its pretty deep.
Before you accept her back and try to work on R, really takes time to look at the real person your wife is, and ask yourself why you should let her be with you. What's in it for you? What kind of marriage will you be living in a year from now?
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