My wife cheated with my best friend

chapparal · 06-16-2012, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrArachnid

Don't know..and if his drives are "gone" then I wouldn't know how to bother with that.

You only have the word of a lying cheat the drives are gone. He has them. He's afraid of what you will do if you find out he posted them.

And, basically he's admited he put them on his computer from his phone and that they are now on the internet.

Did you say he was into BDSM?

chapparal · 06-16-2012, 07:31 AM

Any of your friends knowwhere he might post videos?

Please don't befriend any more pervs.

MrArachnid · 06-16-2012, 07:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chapparal

You only have the word of a lying cheat the drives are gone. He has them. He's afraid of what you will do if you find out he posted them.

And, basically he's admited he put them on his computer from his phone and that they are now on the internet.

Did you say he was into BDSM?

No not BDSM.....he and his wife were into a lot of 3ways....gang bangs.....but he never talked about anything to hardcore....not on the more violent/dominant side of things.

The chance that I would be able to find them if they were on the net...would be slim. There are sooooooo many upload sites...Iam not to worried about it. My wife freaked.....because we have two boys and she knows that they will get older and they will more than likely explore that stuff....and to find mommy on there has her in a twist.

MrArachnid · 06-16-2012, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chapparal

Any of your friends knowwhere he might post videos?

Please don't befriend any more pervs.

I don't befriend pervs. I also believe to each his own. I know the OM and his wife were into some kink...but that was them. I don't fault people for having their stuff to be into. I have mine....everybody has there kink. He did truly blindside me with the affair. I never would have seen it coming from him.

chapparal · 06-16-2012, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrArachnid

No not BDSM.....he and his wife were into a lot of 3ways....gang bangs.....

I may be wrong but this fits my description of two pervs in an unhappy marriage. What few swingers that I have come in contact with were always hitting on people to join them and are now divorced. One wife ended up beat up.

MattMatt · 06-16-2012, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrArachnid

Don't know..and if his drives are "gone" then I wouldn't know how to bother with that.

https://tips.fbi.gov/

bandit.45 · 06-16-2012, 08:23 AM

Your wife is now feeling the full consequences of the Great Circle of Dumbassedness.

How are the mind movies? Are you holding up, getting any counseling?
Posted via Mobile Device

allthegoodnamesaregone · 06-16-2012, 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrArachnid

I know its is a bad idea. And I won't do it because I love her too much to do that to her. Well funny you would say that about the STD's....she and I have herpes....so it was a bit nice in a revenge way.....to text my friend to let him know that since she didn't tell him.

The phone is under my name, why?

I wondered about the same thing, I'd had herpes before I met my wife and had to tell her all about it when we first got serious. We used condoms for years, even when I didn't have an active infection. After a while she said " You don't have to use them all the time, we're married and I'm not going anywhere" She did have symptoms of herpes, but always put it down to a yeast infection, but I'm pretty sure she's have to been exposed to it after 24 years.

I honestly don't think she's given it much thought that she might have it, I know I didn't worry much about it or think about it for years.
It was only a couple of months after she left that I began to think

" Crap, when I start dating again I have to go through informing whoever I get in a relationship with that I have herpes and possible have it end right there"

Then it hit me, I'll bet she hasn't given much thought to the whole herpes thing for the same reason, she used to be married and it didn't matter. I'm just waiting for the nasty call of how "you ruined my life" when the OM comes down with it ;~)))))

MrArachnid · 06-16-2012, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bandit.45

Your wife is now feeling the full consequences of the Great Circle of Dumbassedness.

How are the mind movies? Are you holding up, getting any counseling?
Posted via Mobile Device

The images have gotten less....and my wife and I have been intimate....one time I had to stop in the middle and walk out....she just laid there and cried because she knew why I stopped and walked out...without me saying why.

For the most part, the intimacy between us is better and there are times she has come on to me and I have to tell her I am not in a good place for it. She told me the other day that she will be there for me in any capacity I need and when I want to be intimate she will be understanding.

She has definitely come to understand what she did.....completely. She and I are going to counseling together and separately. She has been happier than I remember. I have gotten some issues resolved and the expose' of the affair definitely helped that along.

One day at a time.

MrArachnid · 06-16-2012, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by allthegoodnamesaregone

I wondered about the same thing, I'd had herpes before I met my wife and had to tell her all about it when we first got serious. We used condoms for years, even when I didn't have an active infection. After a while she said " You don't have to use them all the time, we're married and I'm not going anywhere" She did have symptoms of herpes, but always put it down to a yeast infection, but I'm pretty sure she's have to been exposed to it after 24 years.

I honestly don't think she's given it much thought that she might have it, I know I didn't worry much about it or think about it for years.
It was only a couple of months after she left that I began to think

" Crap, when I start dating again I have to go through informing whoever I get in a relationship with that I have herpes and possible have it end right there"

Then it hit me, I'll bet she hasn't given much thought to the whole herpes thing for the same reason, she used to be married and it didn't matter. I'm just waiting for the nasty call of how "you ruined my life" when the OM comes down with it ;~)))))

Yeah...it is a nice little FU.

MrArachnid · 06-16-2012, 09:20 AM

On another note, I dont remember if I posted this already, I am (with the exception of my existing infection) STD free. I got the results back few weeks ago. I do have to go back for a follow up HIV test in a couple more months but I am feeling so much better knowing that I am not with a deadly infection.

MrArachnid · 06-16-2012, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chapparal

I may be wrong but this fits my description of two pervs in an unhappy marriage. What few swingers that I have come in contact with were always hitting on people to join them and are now divorced. One wife ended up beat up.

One thing I can say is that ....I know that is right. Usually a swinging partnership ends and badly. I had suspected that the OM is emotionally abusive to his wife but she is no better.

I am fairly certain that they both have issues with degrees of Narcissistic Personality Disorder....after doing a lot of reading and knowing from personal family history.....hindsight has shown some NPD for sure.

bandit.45 · 06-16-2012, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrArachnid

The images have gotten less....and my wife and I have been intimate....one time I had to stop in the middle and walk out....she just laid there and cried because she knew why I stopped and walked out...without me saying why.

For the most part, the intimacy between us is better and there are times she has come on to me and I have to tell her I am not in a good place for it. She told me the other day that she will be there for me in any capacity I need and when I want to be intimate she will be understanding.

She has definitely come to understand what she did.....completely. She and I are going to counseling together and separately. She has been happier than I remember. I have gotten some issues resolved and the expose' of the affair definitely helped that along.

One day at a time.

Just go at your own pace. I would imagine this situation with the video and the stolen hard drive is freaking her out.

Shaggy · 06-16-2012, 10:02 AM

Have you posted the OM on cheaterville.com?

MrArachnid · 06-16-2012, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shaggy

Have you posted the OM on cheaterville.com?

?.....no.....but I am now.