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post #121 of 340 (permalink) Old 05-07-2012, 09:29 AM Thread Starter
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Re: My wife cheated with my best friend

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Honestly I am shocked that your wife knew that your previous marriage ended when your wife had sex with your best friend. The fact that she would engage in a sexual affair with your best friend again knowing how incredible painful this would be to you aside from the double betrayal says a great deal about her and sends a powerful message to you. I think you know what that message is. Good luck.

I know I seem like a chump for wanting to work this out with her and yes she did know about some of what happened in my previous marriage....I hadn't been all that open with my wife about past stuff...so she was not completely aware of all of that.

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post #122 of 340 (permalink) Old 05-07-2012, 09:29 AM
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Re: My wife cheated with my best friend

I seriously recommend taking some time off and getting to the doc asap

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post #123 of 340 (permalink) Old 05-07-2012, 09:32 AM
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Re: My wife cheated with my best friend

Don't make a decision in haste. You are not anywhere in position yet to think clearly. I agree, take some time off, don't rush blindly into R.
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post #124 of 340 (permalink) Old 05-07-2012, 09:33 AM Thread Starter
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Re: My wife cheated with my best friend

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I seriously recommend taking some time off and getting to the doc asap
I am doing what I can. We have kids and I cannot afford to take off and when I stay busy I don't think about it as much. I really am going to the Dr. after work. My counselor gave me his personal cell number in case I really have a hard time...so I am doing what I can.

I really appreciate the concern and it is helping to know that I am not the only one who has had to go through this and feel this.
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post #125 of 340 (permalink) Old 05-07-2012, 09:44 AM
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Re: My wife cheated with my best friend

well I dont know your job situation, but some jobs allow paid time for health reasons, maybe check with HR for paperwork and have your doc fill it out if available

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post #126 of 340 (permalink) Old 05-07-2012, 09:51 AM
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If she really wasn't aware of the video and did in fact insist that it be deleted.....is there any legal recourse if the OM does something stupid...like post it? I know that you can save things to the SD card and make it look like you deleted it. My wife is not all that tech savvy so she may have believed something that was not the facts.
Yes you can take legal action, if you haven't already, go talk to a lawyer and explain the situation and the existence of this video. A preemptive letter warning him that the video needs to deleted and if it were ever to be released you will be bring a law suit against him for doing it might help.

Have your wife go with you to the lawyer, so she hears the hard facts and has to share with you the pain of even having such a conversation,
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post #127 of 340 (permalink) Old 05-07-2012, 10:06 AM
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Re: My wife cheated with my best friend

i've heard of situations like these before.....the video, i mean.

there is no legal recourse, except when putting a person's likeness in some sort of media venue-- a porn site, for instance.

if she willingly participated in the taping, she has no way of forcing the other party to destroy it. he(OM) has rights to said media, as well.
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post #128 of 340 (permalink) Old 05-07-2012, 10:07 AM
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Re: My wife cheated with my best friend

depending if you believe her or not, she claims she was not a willing participant of being taped and asked it be destroyed

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post #129 of 340 (permalink) Old 05-07-2012, 10:07 AM
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i've heard of situations like these before.....the video, i mean.

there is no legal recourse, except when putting a person's likeness in some sort of media venue-- a porn site, for instance.

if she willingly participated in the taping, she has no way of forcing the other party to destroy it. he(OM) has rights to said media, as well.
But he cannot distribute it with out her sign off.

Besides the warning letter from the lawyer often scares people enough.
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post #130 of 340 (permalink) Old 05-07-2012, 10:19 AM
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Re: My wife cheated with my best friend

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Have your wife go with you to the lawyer [about the video], so she hears the hard facts and has to share with you the pain of even having such a conversation,
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Let her see a third party look at her and let her imagine just what they're thinking about her escapade and how she's treated you. This is the price she paid--she must not be shielded from the brunt of it.

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post #131 of 340 (permalink) Old 05-07-2012, 10:19 AM Thread Starter
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Re: My wife cheated with my best friend

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well I dont know your job situation, but some jobs allow paid time for health reasons, maybe check with HR for paperwork and have your doc fill it out if available
I don't want to have to talk about this at work. Everyone knows my wife and I, and even though this was her choice, I am sharing the shame and guilt....and I do not want anyone to know at work even HR, who is legally bound to secrecy, to know. It would offend me to have anyone talk bad about my wife, regardless.

I am doing ok today.....I am going to the Dr.....I have some support systems in place (thanks to all of you fine folks) and I will be on Meds by this evening.

I am the kind of person who has to stay busy....even with this.
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post #132 of 340 (permalink) Old 05-07-2012, 10:26 AM
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Re: My wife cheated with my best friend

My ex-wife's POSOM also did a video of the two of them having sex and uploaded it to her photobucket account. After I found it, I confronted my ex by showing it to her. The look of shock on her face told me that she did not know that the POSOM had fvcked her in more ways the one. She ran to the bathroom and puked her brains out. She finally knew what it feels like to be stabbed in the back.

'I'd rather live by a dream, than live by a lie.
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post #133 of 340 (permalink) Old 05-07-2012, 10:26 AM
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Re: My wife cheated with my best friend

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But he cannot distribute it with out her sign off.
that's what i said. if he does, he can be sued for distributing a person's likeness without consent.

it doesn't stop him from showing it in private, though.


Quote:
she claims she was not a willing participant of being taped and asked it be destroyed
if she was in his home while this was going on, it's that much harder to prove she wasn't aware of it.

this is a total clusterf*ck.
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post #134 of 340 (permalink) Old 05-07-2012, 10:29 AM
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Re: My wife cheated with my best friend

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Originally Posted by cledus_snow View Post
that's what i said. if he does, he can be sued for distributing a person's likeness without consent.

it doesn't stop him from showing it in private, though.

if she was in his home while this was going on, it's that much harder to prove she wasn't aware of it.

this is a total clusterf*ck.
I still vote to have her hear this from a lawyer.
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post #135 of 340 (permalink) Old 05-07-2012, 10:33 AM
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Re: My wife cheated with my best friend

no doubt they should seek a lawyer.

i'm just telling you he has as much right to that tape, as she does.


the only reason celebrities are able to bar someone from posting their vids, is because they reach a settlement. people get paid-off.
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