Re: My wife cheated with my best friend
Don't deny yourself the time you need to really process this hurt, and work your way back to the place where you are REALLY ready to talk about reconciliation. Right now, it sounds like you just jumped at reconciliation and started going through the motions as a kneejerk reaction, too afraid to consider any other option.
But over time, you'll realize what it really means that the woman you love tried to convince you that you were crazy for suspecting the affair. You'll wonder how long she would've kept up the affair, or if she would've ever stopped if you hadn't begun to suspect.
Since we are talking about real love, you probably will find your way back to reconciliation, but I personally think that the horrible images and mind games will go on much longer if you let your mind process the betrayal, and then work its way back to reconciliation after seriously considering the alternative. Also, what is this telling her about the next time? Will she know that the marriage is safe, even if she does this again?
You can tell her that you can't answer the quetion about the future yet. You can talk about how dissapointed you are in being with a woman who would do this to you, but also apparently so casually put others at risk for disease.
I fear that too many people in your place try to short circuit the healing process of betrayal, making the reconciliation drag on for far longer than it otherwise might, due to unresolved feelings over the betrayal.