this is what bothers me. once is a mistake, but six times is not.
IKR?
OM must have gave her hot sex because she went back for more five times. And knowing how WSs use Trickle Truth, it was probably more than 6 times and probably not just that one weekend. Always the tip of the iceberg we see here.
i'm 6 weeks along. Not six months. I know i'm a horrible person. i just want to do whats best for the baby and i don't want to hurt my husband. my husband does want a baby. my friend already has a family and would want nothing to do with the baby. i know i should tell him but it would mean the end of my marriage and no daddy for my child. i still think there is a chance it could be my husbands so maybe i should wait and see. we had sex before and after the weekend. i've been praying everyday since i found out that it is my husbands. but i know its probably not. we ttc for months without anything and the one time i cheat it happens. this is the only time in my life i have ever cheated.
i'm 6 weeks along. Not six months. I know i'm a horrible person. i just want to do whats best for the baby and i don't want to hurt my husband. my husband does want a baby. my friend already has a family and would want nothing to do with the baby. i know i should tell him but it would mean the end of my marriage and no daddy for my child. i still think there is a chance it could be my husbands so maybe i should wait and see. we had sex before and after the weekend. i've been praying everyday since i found out that it is my husbands. but i know its probably not. we ttc for months without anything and the one time i cheat it happens. this is the only time in my life i have ever cheated.
The problem here is YOU
You need to first off, realize who the father is. If it is your husband's, you still need to hell him. You don't, it won't end well.
My wife told me about her affair, and it was worse than yours, lasted longer, but no pregnancy. Well, she was kind enough to tell me. I tell you right now, if I had found out on my own, I would have divorced her, no doubt in my mind.
But since she told me, I was more receptive. Now, it is still a situation, but I am more willing to work with her to a degree.
You are saying you are doing what is best for the child.
But you sound more like you are doing what is best for YOU!
You are never thinking: hey, what is right for my husband?
You want to cuckold your husband. Ultimate insult for any man. If it is his child, he'll still be hurt, but he'll be more likely to work it out. You ARE carrying his child in that situation.
If it is not his, he has every right to leave you, and not want to be the father to the child. He is not the father, so don't force him. You can say "Fatherhood is more about who changes the diapers, and stays up with the baby" but you are tricking him into thinking it is his seed in you.
You feel so attached to the baby though. But you need to know: this is your baby. It may not be his. So you will feel attached to it. Don't expect him to warm up to a baby that isn't his.
i'm 6 weeks along. Not six months. I know i'm a horrible person. i just want to do whats best for the baby and i don't want to hurt my husband. my husband does want a baby. my friend already has a family and would want nothing to do with the baby. i know i should tell him but it would mean the end of my marriage and no daddy for my child. i still think there is a chance it could be my husbands so maybe i should wait and see. we had sex before and after the weekend. i've been praying everyday since i found out that it is my husbands. but i know its probably not. we ttc for months without anything and the one time i cheat it happens. this is the only time in my life i have ever cheated.
NO! Again, stop being SELFISH!!!!! "Wait and see"? Again, NO!!!! Damnit woman, get this through your head....Your husband DESERVES THE TRUTH NOW before he begins developing attachment to a child (unborn or not) which is likely not his! Stop justifying this by "not wanting to hurt him". The truth is if you cared about that you'd not have slept with this guy SIX TIMES. You simply do not want to come out about this and hope it is your husbands, at the expense of your husband's emotional needs, in order to save your marriage for YOU. Stop telling us and yourself that you're doing it to save him from hurt.
And "best for the baby" is the baby as it grows actually know ing who its father is. Stop with the "protecting" of others as an excuse to try to make this work for you.
I think most of us can understand a single, drunken mistake. Had there been no other consequences to your husband and a child, you were GENUINELY remorseful and fully believed it could never happen again and you learned your lesson, well then maybe....maybe you could justify keeping this secret to yourself forever and not hurting someone else. That is assuming you would never do such a thing again, which it sounds like you believe you would not do. But, six times is not a single drunken mistake. You had a full blown, fully conscious affair, no matter the duration or time span. And this affair can have DEEP effects and implications on two other INNOCENT people.
You phucked up. Admit to it. Maybe if you throw yourself at the mercy of "the court", you'll be granted leniency. But deny, deceive and hide DESPITE THE IMPACT ON OTHERS and continue to show NO TRUE REMORSE (in other words, how can I get out of this)? If you were mine and I found out, there would be no chance, NO CHANCE of reconcilliation. A one time "mistake" and error in judgement? Maybe. Maybe even probably. Maybe I could get past that. And if I couldn't, at least I'd respect you for having some back bone and integrity...which might be important if by some long shot I was the father or your child....
if it means the end of your marriage and no daddy for your child then so be it I'm afraid
if you don't believe in or don't want an abortion (which I'm assuming you don't) then you are going to have this baby. I'm also assuming you will be wanting the father to support this baby at least financially (the other man may not want anything to do with it if it's his but that's just his tough luck isn't it?)
so one way or another you need to know. You need to tell your H, accept his decision as to whether he wants to stay with you or not, have the baby, have a DNA test and take it from there
and living with the consequences of your actions may assist you in making better decisions in future. I'm really not judging, I'm speaking from experience (although not quite the same experience)
You do not sound like you are sorry for cheating at all.
You do not sound like you are sorry for immediately having sex with your husband after being being with the OM 6 times and putting your husband's health at risk for STD's.
You sound like you are only sorry that you got pregnant from you cheating. You are unbelievable.
BTW, I wouldn't quite yet classify you as a "horrible person" as you stated you knew you were. I'll reserve judgment on that until you tell us, if you ever do, how you came to a resolution on this. You made a grave mistake. Do you have a shred of integrity and will face the consequences realizing the very real potential very adverse impact on other innocent people? Or do you hide, pray, deny, and deceive despite the impact on those innocent people? THAT, more than any mistake or lapse of judgement will determine if you are in fact "a horrible person", or a genuinely good person who simply screwed up. Let that sink in a while....
You should take a test, so you know who the father is for sure----there may be medical issues that may come up, for the baby, and it's health, where you will HAVE to know who the father actually is---so you need to find out.
If the child is not your H---then, the birth father MUST be responsible for helping to care for the baby----you have already ruined lives, with what you have done---now do the right thing for the child.
Also as has been stated above---this was not a mistake---cheating is NEVER a mistake---it was a series of choices by you-----6 times, how do you figure that to be a mistake---6 times, you consciously chose to say to your H---you are nothing but a POS, you are not worth being married to----being drunk, is no excuse, and that might account for one act of sex---but 6 times, were you drunk for the whole 6 times you had sex---I very seriously doubt it
Own up to what you have done, and let the chips fall where they may---right now your guilt, is like a cancer, and it is spreading---at some point you, yourself, are gonna tip your H., off with your actions, and worsening guilt----get it out---and hope your H, gives you the greatest gift, you will ever recieve---a 2nd chance---if nothing else, the innocent child deserves a peaceful existence---which can never happen, with you consumed by guilt, as you now are.
Kate, you are being stupid. Your husband WILL KNOW whether or not it's his, at some point in time. If you or your husband or child EVER get a blood test or have lab work done because of an illness or injury, you will be giving DNA samples, and any lab tech can match them up. It is highly probable that you AND your baby will have DNA samples taken at birth. What if you have a son and he is injured in sports? Or a daughter who has a disease? What will happen then? Would you risk your child's life to hide your shame? TELL YOUR HUSBAND NOW!!!
living a lie DOES NOT END WELL !!!!!! Your setting to destroy your child's life. Your playing this whole " Catch Me If You Can " with your husband and you think there is a rainbow at the end of this game ??? What part of this don't you understand --- HE WILL CATCH YOU AS SOON AS THIS KID HITS PUBERTY. THE TRUTH WILL COME OUT AND YOUR CHILD WILL END UP IN A PSYCHE WARD TRYING TO RESOLVE THAT THE MAN SHE CALLED FATHER FOR 18 YEARS WAS NOT HER FATHER AND SHE IS A BASTARD CHILD OF AN ADULTERESS WOMAN !!! THIS WILL TRAUMATIZE YOUR CHILD !!! --- GET THE TRUTH OUT NOW !!!!!! SPARE THE CHILD THIS MASSIVE MENTAL BLOW !!!!! Posted via Mobile Device
Don't abort the baby, he's an innocent party in this whole thing. Do the right thing and tell your husband the truth and the other man if it turns out to be his. The pain of him finding out now would be less severe than if he grows emotionally attached and discovers it's not his later on.
By deluding him into thinking that he's the father, you'll robbing him of potentially the happiest time of his life and you will never be forgiven for making him raise another man's baby. You will also have a terrible pregnancy due to the stress and guilt which can have bad effect on the baby.
If you want your first pregnancy and child to be a result of deceit and adultery then don't tell your husband, but as other people have said, the truth eventually comes out.
You must tell your husband, because he has the right to know. I would think VERY strongly about abortion. It may save your marriage, but not without being completely honest with your husband about what you did and how you got pregnant.
If you don't abort, you should tell the father of the child. He has the right to know that he has a child! Just because he's married and has two children is completely irrelevant- HE HAD SEX with you, without a condom, so obviously he already knows it's a possibility! He may want to have contact with his son/daughter, and why shouldn't he want that? It's the most natural thing in the world.
If I were in your shoes, I would be making my decision today - do not put it off! Every hour that goes by, you are making your situation worse. Abortions are much easier the sooner they happen - both from a medical and a psychological perspective - and by putting it off you are sending the message to your husband that you would rather have a child with another man than be honest with him.
The fact that you never forgave him for his EA means that you NEED COUNSELING. If you cannot forgive him for that (which is perfectly normal!!!) you should have divorced. The fact that you decided to try to have a child instead is pretty worrying considering that you don't have a happy marriage.
You have a lot of options (abortion, adoption, parent the child with its actual father, parent the child with your husband) but continuing to lie to your husband about will prove absolutely disastrous. I know that there are 500 voices in your head telling you that you should just sweep it under the rug, BUT there is a very good reason that you have dozens of people here telling you that the truth WILL come out - all he has to do is suspect something and do a paternity test on his own child - the simplest thing - and that can all happen without your knowledge or you saying a word.
One of my cousin was married for 4 years and no kids so his wife decided to time a non stop sex with her married friend who had kids behind her husband's back to conceive as she claims she loves him and wants to give him a baby, fortunate for my cousin he caught her and she didn't get pregnant. It was a heart breaking situation for him, he felt the lowest of life and now they are separated for good.
If you truly love him you would have never cheated him, pls don't call this a mistake, its cheating. It would be a grave mistake to keep this from him. In the best interest of yourself, the child and your husband please tell him everything and let him decide he needs to know the truth.
You said you love your husband but how can a women who loves her husband can spread her legs for someone who is already married? you said it was a one time mistake, no it was not a one time mistake, you did it six times with OM,how can it be a one time mistake? When you went to bang OM six times each time you know that you are cheating your husband, you are going to hurt him, you are going to kill you marriage but you did it again and again consciously, After reaching home you slept with your husband putting his life on threat for STDs which may kill him, another. You lied to him for a long about your cheating and getting pregnant from some POS and made him to believe that he is the father another mistake.How can this be a one time mistake. What you did was a mistake, what you are doing now is also mistakes, in future also you are going to continue this mistake for your entire life.
Cheating, lying and deceiving your husband was a horrible choice you made knowing the consequences, now hiding the paternity is a heinous act done to a human being. most disgraceful act!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
can you look yourself into mirror without guilt and shame? you should look in the mirror and you should realize what you have become and ask yourself do you want to live your entire life like a person whom you never like to see in the mirror? If the answer is NO, then tell your husband the truth and face the consequences of your cheating, else live your life like a POS with guilt, lie and deceit, you can choose it now.
There is a saying "one cannot hide the lie for ever, the truth will come out of the darkness one day" it may take time but it will come out. so better let it come out from your mouth and even if he leaves you you can at least say, you said the truth.
Jesus said "forgive them, they dont know what they are doing" but you will never going to get that holy forgiveness in your life because " you know what a heinous thing you are doing to a human being"
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Re: Pregnant. might not be husbands 
"A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love."
