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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 05-07-2012, 09:29 AM   #121 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pregnant. might not be husbands

Yes, a huge part of population is in for sick surprise down the line.
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Old 05-07-2012, 09:30 AM   #122 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pregnant. might not be husbands

She is eventually going to be caught in few months.........

They were trying for baby from December she didn't conceive, then went to her trip came back and had sex with her husband Now she is pregnant. Then she know that its OMs so she is going to suffer some mental delema whether to tell or not, this will be shown in her body language soon (It may have already happened unknowingly) Now her husband is in lovey dovey for having his own kid, later he will add up everything and eventually going to find that she strayed and got knocked up by some one else, Then.................................
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Old 05-07-2012, 10:06 AM   #123 (permalink)
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If she thinks he might leave her over this,imagine what he will do when he finds out that she added to it by deliberately lying to him about it to trick him into paying for and caring for the other mans kid.

I also suspect that after getting away with it once, she will be back looking for another sex weekend with her stud.
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Old 05-07-2012, 10:12 AM   #124 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pregnant. might not be husbands

It may also be a question of pride since she probably has thrown his EA in his face and now she does not relish the idea of being the bad guy who is going to have her PA thrown in her face. Now it is her turn to eat humble pie.
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Old 05-07-2012, 10:19 AM   #125 (permalink)
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i've been reading all of the responses. i'm sort of scared to jump back in and say anything since everyone seems to have this awful impression of me. I couldn't tell my husband. I just couldn't. he would never forgive me. I think it might be best for everyone for me to have an abortion. I just need to build up the courage to do it. i'm a good person who made one mistake. try to be understanding. I'm going to talk to my friend and see what his opinion is of this first and if he doesn't want the baby i'll get an abortion. i'm pretty sure he doesn't want any part of the baby so... anyways thanks for pushing me to get the abortion. i think it is the only choice really.
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Old 05-07-2012, 10:24 AM   #126 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pregnant. might not be husbands

Tell your friends wife.
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Old 05-07-2012, 10:28 AM   #127 (permalink)
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i've been reading all of the responses. i'm sort of scared to jump back in and say anything since everyone seems to have this awful impression of me. I couldn't tell my husband. I just couldn't. he would never forgive me. I think it might be best for everyone for me to have an abortion. I just need to build up the courage to do it. i'm a good person who made one mistake. try to be understanding. I'm going to talk to my friend and see what his opinion is of this first and if he doesn't want the baby i'll get an abortion. i'm pretty sure he doesn't want any part of the baby so... anyways thanks for pushing me to get the abortion. i think it is the only choice really.
I think abortion is your only choice, you are in such a difficult position, and I hope you really get a chance to think of what you have done to yourself and your family, this is something that will live with you forever, no matter what you choose. I do think that by having an abortion you avoid a child growing up in a very strange and painful situation that isn't fair for him/her.

The affair I had still haunts me today a year and a half ago, it ruined my marriage (or what was left of it), and there was no pregnancy invovled. Be sure to seek therapy whatever you decide, we don't realize the devestation this has caused the people around us, and to ourselves as well.
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Old 05-07-2012, 10:34 AM   #128 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pregnant. might not be husbands

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

It will be very difficult to hide an abortion from your husband. No sex for about 4 weeks, among other things.

I'm refraining from judgement posting, just practical comments.

- Your friend may tell your husband
- You will have to deal with trying to keep this a secret for the rest of your life, and the odds are NOT in your favor
-If you need to find the courage to have an abortion, you may not be able to go through with it

It's sometimes not "what" we do in life, but how we handle the aftermath. Whether or not we own our actions. Everyone make mistakes. Whether or not it was a mistake is open to opinion.

What really matters is how you deal with it. I'm not really keen on looking at life as correcting past mistakes, as much as there is opportunity to take it as a twist in the road and find a way to make it work. Nobody gets a do-over in life. Just a chance to learn from the past and apply it to the future.

Take care of yourself,
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Old 05-07-2012, 10:35 AM   #129 (permalink)
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i've been reading all of the responses. i'm sort of scared to jump back in and say anything since everyone seems to have this awful impression of me.
Impressions don't get you pregnant. What you hear here is a fair assessment of your actions. It's not people here awful to you, it's your actions are truly awful.
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Old 05-07-2012, 10:36 AM   #130 (permalink)
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Kate, even if you get an abortion, you should still show your husband the respect he deserves and tell him about the affair. If you really love him, that is. But you sound so selfish that you would base your marriage on a lie and continue it until somebody finds out (which they will) and the result will be the same. You CAN recover from this tragedy, but only by being honest and respecting your husband.
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Old 05-07-2012, 10:36 AM   #131 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KateJ View Post
i've been reading all of the responses. i'm sort of scared to jump back in and say anything since everyone seems to have this awful impression of me. I couldn't tell my husband. I just couldn't. he would never forgive me. I think it might be best for everyone for me to have an abortion. I just need to build up the courage to do it. i'm a good person who made one mistake. try to be understanding. I'm going to talk to my friend and see what his opinion is of this first and if he doesn't want the baby i'll get an abortion. i'm pretty sure he doesn't want any part of the baby so... anyways thanks for pushing me to get the abortion. i think it is the only choice really.
He's going to find out one day, it might be years from now but he will.

FYI you didn't make one mistake, you made 6 choices (were you drunk all six times). You are not marriage material right now.
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Old 05-07-2012, 10:37 AM   #132 (permalink)
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I'm a good person who made one mistake. try to be understanding.
How can you expect us to be understanding when you are still referring to a bad choice as a "mistake"? If you had gotten drunk once and the OM had taken advantage of you blacking out to rape you, then I would agree with you that it was a mistake but you had 6 SIX TIMES during the weekend, that is an average of sexual intercourse 3 TIMES PER DAY. Until you stop calling a "mistake" and calling it for what it really is a "bad choice", you'll still get the harshest of treatment on this forum.

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I'm going to talk to my friend and see what his opinion is of this first and if he doesn't want the baby i'll get an abortion. i'm pretty sure he doesn't want any part of the baby
How can you call the OM who helped you to destroy your marriage "my friend"?

Forgive me but you really are in some serious need of psychological therapy. You have a tendency to befriend toxic people who care nothing about you or your marriage. Please seek professional help to resolve you the issues that have caused you to act in such self-destructive ways. If you don't, there's more than a good chance that you will repeat this in the future. Is that what you want?
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Old 05-07-2012, 10:39 AM   #133 (permalink)
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How can you call the OM who helped you to destroy your marriage "my friend"?
Quite. Friends don't f*ck friends, in any sense.
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Old 05-07-2012, 10:40 AM   #134 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pregnant. might not be husbands

Nah, if she aborts the kid then, once the dust settles, she'll be banging around again - nothing learnt at all.

And she hasn't even considered the idea that he may find out regardless and dump her anyway.


I love your one mistake you happily repeated 6 times over.

It's not a mistake, Kate. It was a fun and lust fuelled rush that empowered you and made you feel that you had a better deal than your husband.
I think your mistake was in your judgement of the OM, you thought he was going to be something special, but you've probably come to realise that all those promises he made, the special feelings he gave you, were nothing but keywords to unlock your knickers and the OM was just using you for his own ends.
Mission accomplished.

Tell me Kate, if you're not a bad person, why is your husband not entitled to truth.
1. Don't you think he can handle it (disrespect)
2. Do you think it will destroy him (think he's weak)
3. Do you think he'll leave you (selfish and manipulative)

I'll put a fiver on answer three please.

Kate, you and you alone are responsible for this situation - you need harsh words to get you to listen.
Do I think you're evil? No
Do I think you're a selfish and self serving coward who is more interested in protecting herself than anyone else? Yes.

I assure you, one day he WILL come to find out. Whether it's a month, year or decade, you will be held to account.
Do youself a favour, stop believing your husband to be a pitiful little man with no backbone and let him know the truth. Then he can decide what to do with his life.
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Old 05-07-2012, 10:45 AM   #135 (permalink)
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A whilre back here in TAM a teenager, I think her was 18, just found ouy that his dad wasn't his biological dad. His Mom cheated 18 years ago and her husband never knew. The child... Well adult now was a nervous wreck.

I want to follow up on that. There is a chance you can keep this a secret for a very long time. Eventually the truth will come out and two families will be destroyed.


No matter what you do people and families will be hurt. It only a matter of when.
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