bryanp

Have you and your wife been tested for STD's yet?

Taking the potential for divorce off the table is a very bad idea. It sends a clear message to your wife that you are willing to accept extreme forms of humiliation and disrespect and accepting putting your health at risk for STD's without consequences to her. If the roles were reversed would your wife accept all of this from you? If you do not respect yourself then who will? Nobody and I mean nobody respects a doormat. Good luck.

MrHopeful

Don't worry guys, I am def not sitting around giving high fives to myself. Its all just words, I am only paying attention to actions.

For all of you glass half full ppl, exposing the affair to his family is a joke compared to the real dirt I have on this guy. I still need time to build up a stronger case, but there isn't really any wiggle room for him. Just crossing "T"s and dotting "I"s. If I get even a whiff that they are still communicating, this guy is going to wish he listened to his mamma.

MrHopeful

Its only off the table *for now* (re-read my post) while I see if she comes around and shows any remorse. My point was that I am not going to use divorce as a weapon to bring her around, only a final solution to guarantee my own happiness and/or protect my kids.

Divorce is the biggest weapon I have, but it would absolutely destroy us financially and that would hurt my kids. I am getting legal and financial advice so this is not me making stuff up or wishful thinking or whatever.

iheartlife

off to get my own bucket of popcorn!

iheartlife

Just don't tell her that D isn't an option. That is all everyone is begging you NOT to do.

MrHopeful

Its too soon for me to be tested. I have the lab order, but I have to wait at least a week more before they draw the blood. The longer I wait the more accurate the results. I'm not even a little bit in the mood for sex, so don't worry about me spreading anything, hehe.

I have mentioned more than once to my wife how pissed I am that I have to get tested for STDs. Its soul crushing having to sit around wondering what I might have in me.

bryanp

Mr. Hopeful. Iheartlife said it best. We are just saying do not tell her that D is not an option for now. It should always be in the back of her mind what the consequences of her actions will lead to.

MrHopeful

I would never tell anyone that anything is off the table. The only reason I said its off the table for now is because so many people on the site keep telling me to file divorce as a wake up call, which I don't believe is a good use of such a powerful action.

I'm not going to go the divorce route until I feel its the only remaining option to protect my happiness or to protect my kids.

TRy

Your wife is a cheater that has shown no remorse, is in your face about the other man (OM), and introduced the OM to your mother (your children's grandmother). She continued contact with the OM after you confronted her and is openly angry with you for trying to stop the affair. The loving wife that you think that you knew is gone forever. Why are you still tying your happiness to someone like this?

MrHopeful

I'm not going to defend my decision to try and save my family anymore. I'm going for it, everyone has to deal with that.

OldWolf57

do you know if she told him you know about him using a false SS## ? With you calling his mom, he has to wonder what else you know. so don't take much stock in him calling you crying "mea culpa", in spite of his upbring, he is still shady.

OldWolf57

you do you Bro. never mind others. on some other threads, a survey showed 80% of D parents wished they R. So some here understand your stance.

Aristotle

The man has a plan and he is going for it. This will be a great thread to learn new possibilities when battling the fog or learn from the mistakes.

For your sake, I hope you don't make any mistakes, but they happen. Good luck, you have the silent majority watching the thread with nothing to add. I love that you told his mom.

MrHopeful

I am trying to verify the SSN stuff. I can only go by what the bg report says, so for now shady until proven otherwise.

Nobody need worry about me letting this guy off the hook. This site has done a fine job drilling it into my brain that words don't mean anything.

The only real "evidence" if you want to call it that of the affair being over is that WW underwent a dramatic change overnight. She is constantly crying for no reason, angry, sad, angry, sad. She looks like someone killed her puppy and fed it to her then ran her over with a leaky manure truck.

This is a MASSIVE change from before where I was getting the ****iness, the strutting, the coldness.

Now I am just getting anger thrown at me, which seems to be following the script of "post affair" pretty closely. Both of my family supporters who have dealt with this are telling me their WS spouse behaved exactly the same when the affair was over "for real" (in hindsight of course).

I am not taking my foot off the gas though as far as building up a case to nuke this guy.

MrHopeful

Thanks for this, means a lot.