Pit-of-my-stomach

Please understand, you are not going to reason with him. Your logic is useless.
Please get out of the way. Allow the natural consequences of his actions to happen. If your out of the picture, when those consequences hit, he won't have you standing there to blame. Stop communicating with him other than absolutely nessasary. When you do speak with him keep it brief and professional.

Step back. He made his choice, allow him to live with it.

__________________
Never say Never- The Fog
4 No0bs

Unsure2621

Thanks PIT I need that reminder. I don't know how I slipped back into a conversation with him. I was talking about our daughter and then we were on to it again. And he clearly doesn't want to talk to me. So I am just being pathetic. I honestly don't know if he can get much lower than he actually is. I'm amazed by how far he has fallen in such a short time.

The more this unravels the more I understand that this is about him and not me. He's an absolute mess.

jinba

Sadly it doesn't sound to me like he cares about spending any quality time with your daughter - his loss. You've done what you can to let him know how she's feeling and how upset she is. Now it's up to him to repair his relationship with her - you can't do it for him.

He may fail miserably from your perspective, but so be it. Just do the best you can to build a close relationship with your daughter. Let her know you're not going anywhere - that you love her - and that you'll always be there for her.

What her father does now is totally out of your control - leave him to himself and make a better life for yourself and your child.

Unsure2621

This situation becomes more bizarre each day. I can't believe I am writing this because 6 months ago I thought I lived in a healthy mature environment that was drama free. And this just seems mentally insane to me.

A team member from the WS paranormal investigation team just reached out to me. He let me know that he was suspended from the team for being a mole. (I couldn't make this up people) Members of the team accused him of feeding me information and telling me everything that the team has been doing. So he was kicked off of the team and all other members of the team blocked him on Facebook and shut off all communication with him. Except for my husband who has since moved in with him because he had nowhere else to go.

Now understand that we are not talking about 16 year old kids even though as I read as I type that's how it sounds. We are talking about a 54 year old woman, a 44 year old woman and people in their 30's.

They have also suspended production on their "pilot" until the divorce is final. So 'when' it gets picked up by a network my WS doesn't owe me royalties. No I am not making this up.

The WS also instructed the entire "team" not to have any communication with me. Like I am an enemy or something.

What in the hell do you make of this? I'm serious. This is so bizarre and seems so abnormal to me that I don't even know what to think of it. This whole group of people is mental.

E8H3

Wow, I'm so sorry.

I was just about to ask how old the OW was. They do sound like teenagers. It seems as though they are all living in fantasy land.

However, I think you should just move on. Most likely, he'll realize what an idiot he's being at some point and come back begging for forgiveness, but don't wait for that. Improve yourself, do what YOU want to do for a change, have some fun, gain back your independence, and forget about him. If he doesn't want to be with you, it's his loss!

Unsure2621

The OW is a year older than me. I am 32. So I think she is 33. The WS is going to be 35 in September.

This behavior is almost cult-like. Like they are trying to insulate themselves. Sort of freaking scary if you ask me.

It makes me think of Group Think. They are all feeding this big fantasy world. I don't want to be around when that freaking bubble bursts.

I can't imagine that any healthy adult would get caught up in something this ridiculous.

E8H3

I got the cult vibe too. It is really weird.

I'm all up for weird and what you want to do it your personal life is your business and all that, but it seems like they are creating a high school-like cult-like clique where if one of the members doesn't do something they want, they are out.

Who knows why he got involved - I'm sure we could come up with a lot of theories, but the fact is he did, and then he took it a step further by carrying on a relationship with the OW.

I am around your age (29) and my husband is 33, and I just realized he's no mature than when he was 18, so I guess it's possible that they still feel like teenagers! My husband even pursued his teenage crush that didn't and still won't sleep with him.

Thinking of you and your daughter.

Unsure2621

I think I am going to do as PIT says and just stand back at this point. These people are so far out in left field I can't imagine this turning out good.

jinba

You're right - no healthy adult would get caught up in something so ridiculous. These people (including your H) are living in a fantasy world. It's definitely weird and cult like - I also agree that PIT hit the nail on the head - stay away - you don't know what these nut cases are capable of.

Shaggy

You know flakes like her will shortly get bored of him and likely cheat on him. She probably already has,the idiot if likely on denial.

I have known chicks like her and that type has very short attention spans and lives on drama. Once the diviorce is over, he won't have the drama factor and she will be on to another guy.
Posted via Mobile Device

Shaggy

Also paranoia really makes it seem like there are drugs involved here btw.
Posted via Mobile Device

Unsure2621

Yeah I don't really know what this OW's deal is. The fact that she has 3 kids and one with disabilities really throws me. I would have thought that this type of woman would be totally focused on her family and kids. Instead she is out ghost hunting and belly dancing all over town. It's so odd.

And yes I have thought about drug use too. He is exceptionally paranoid. I don't remember him ever being paranoid in the past. I have been accused of: blackmailing him, running a hate campaign against him, turning the "paranormal community" against him, taking his daughter away from him....the list goes on and on. None of which are true.

I have to stress that I am pretty normal. He was actually pretty normal too. He got involved in this hobby because of the "ghost hunters" fad. I thought eh' what the hell to each their own and didn't think much of it. But his behavior changed sharply and he became more enclosed in a fantasy world. Surely it will crash on him.

I have talked to him on the phone twice and both times I had to ask "Are you on something?" and he said no I'm just tired. I'm starting to think more and more than he is really into something that is bad for him. What types of drugs would cause this type of paranoia?

Unsure2621

The more I tell my story the more I realize that he has morphed into a total crackpot and isn't who I married. It's making me move on faster actually. And honestly, it's starting to make me laugh because you can't make this nonsense up.

vi_bride04

Pot can...but usually people who get paranoid on that don't like to smoke it....

Meth is another that causes crazy paranoia...if he starts loosing alot of weight in a short period of time it definately could be this. I have seen documentaries on this stuff, it's horrible. Rots teeth, rapid weightloss, scratching at your skin b/c of "bugs" and paranoid thoughts and delusions.

But that is quite a drug to go to, especially if he has never really done drugs before.

__________________
...It's always a good time....

Unsure2621

He did some heavier drugs before we got together when he was much younger. He didn't really use drugs - outside of alcohol - during our marriage. That just isn't kosher with me at all. I didn't think much of it during out marriage because I figured he was young and experimenting. But maybe he has picked up some old habits. I don't really know. Or it could all be part of the fog dance. --> I barely even drink and def' don't use drugs so I wouldn't know the signs.