So let me start from the beginning of the problems...even before marriage.
So I started dated my then bf in late 2008. Everything went great, as everything goes in most relationships in the beginning. He was scheduled to leave for boot camp for the Marines in June 2009. Well in April, I found out he was cheating on me with a girl I had never met before. As in they had a fling going on and this is what that girl's best friend told me happened. They basically had a sexual relationship going on.Thank you Myspace for that! & since then, I have not been able to trust him fully. I can honestly say he is my first love & it had been so hard to leave him. I forgave him. I stood by his side throughout his boot camp, writing to him EVERY DAY, and he apologized and seemed like a changed man during each and every one of those letters. Anyway, in one of those letters he stated that he written a letter to her and her to him, but promised that he would cut all contact with her.
Back to the point, the whole next year, I found out, since I am VERY smart with the Internet, that he had been maintaining contact with her, and would be messaging girls on FB and telling them they were cute/hot, etc.
I married this man & decided to leave it in the past and forgive him, hoping he would change.
This is another incident, a few months after we got married. I carefully found out the password to his screen lock and when he was sleeping, had to urge to look through his texts. I found that he had been messaging my SISTER among other girls. I forgave him for that too. This other incident was where I almost left him, & I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE. :/ We were having a party at his house with all kinds of strangers coming and going and I noticed that he was talking extremely close to a certain female. I confronted her and informed her that he was married, and she said there was nothing going on. Anway, he left that morning around 3 am with her. His friends told me he had gone to a hotel. He didnt get home till 7 am that day, drunk and apologizing and crying and saying nothing happened. Why I believed him? IDK! I was brainwashed! Nothing has been the same ever since. He had gotten alot better. Never found anything bad anymore, and just this year in January, I looked through his phone again. He had been messaging his best friend about the same girl he cheated on me with when we were dating and said that the girl (GIGI) had hit him up and that they wanted to have a threesome. Among other texts, he had been messaging a random girl calling her babe and saying he would call her. At this point, I was done and fed up. It took me a week to think about it, but I finally made the decision to get the divorce papers. When he thought he was going to be served with them, he sweet talked me and I fell for it again.
Present time: I moved to Escondido CA to be closer to him since I was living in AZ with his mom.I am not happy. We don't have sex much anymore. I feel like I a settling and I believe people, change, I just dont believe he will change. Honestly, I am scared of how life will be after him. He is the love of my life, but a girl can only put up with so much before reaching her breaking point. I cant get over all the infidelities.I deserve a marriage and a man that will love me and cherish me and respect me. There is absolutely NO TRUST in this relationship from my part. What should I do?????
So I started dated my then bf in late 2008. Everything went great, as everything goes in most relationships in the beginning. He was scheduled to leave for boot camp for the Marines in June 2009. Well in April, I found out he was cheating on me with a girl I had never met before. As in they had a fling going on and this is what that girl's best friend told me happened. They basically had a sexual relationship going on.Thank you Myspace for that! & since then, I have not been able to trust him fully. I can honestly say he is my first love & it had been so hard to leave him. I forgave him. I stood by his side throughout his boot camp, writing to him EVERY DAY, and he apologized and seemed like a changed man during each and every one of those letters. Anyway, in one of those letters he stated that he written a letter to her and her to him, but promised that he would cut all contact with her.
Back to the point, the whole next year, I found out, since I am VERY smart with the Internet, that he had been maintaining contact with her, and would be messaging girls on FB and telling them they were cute/hot, etc.
I married this man & decided to leave it in the past and forgive him, hoping he would change.
This is another incident, a few months after we got married. I carefully found out the password to his screen lock and when he was sleeping, had to urge to look through his texts. I found that he had been messaging my SISTER among other girls. I forgave him for that too. This other incident was where I almost left him, & I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE. :/ We were having a party at his house with all kinds of strangers coming and going and I noticed that he was talking extremely close to a certain female. I confronted her and informed her that he was married, and she said there was nothing going on. Anway, he left that morning around 3 am with her. His friends told me he had gone to a hotel. He didnt get home till 7 am that day, drunk and apologizing and crying and saying nothing happened. Why I believed him? IDK! I was brainwashed! Nothing has been the same ever since. He had gotten alot better. Never found anything bad anymore, and just this year in January, I looked through his phone again. He had been messaging his best friend about the same girl he cheated on me with when we were dating and said that the girl (GIGI) had hit him up and that they wanted to have a threesome. Among other texts, he had been messaging a random girl calling her babe and saying he would call her. At this point, I was done and fed up. It took me a week to think about it, but I finally made the decision to get the divorce papers. When he thought he was going to be served with them, he sweet talked me and I fell for it again.
Present time: I moved to Escondido CA to be closer to him since I was living in AZ with his mom.I am not happy. We don't have sex much anymore. I feel like I a settling and I believe people, change, I just dont believe he will change. Honestly, I am scared of how life will be after him. He is the love of my life, but a girl can only put up with so much before reaching her breaking point. I cant get over all the infidelities.I deserve a marriage and a man that will love me and cherish me and respect me. There is absolutely NO TRUST in this relationship from my part. What should I do?????