This happens all the time here, Shaggy did't just fall off the turnip truck.
What happens all the time, bad advice?
Yes, I see that.
I agree that suggesting to someone to do something that will cause their soon to be ex spouse to lose their job is very reckless. It will most definitely backfire and result in a higher support obligation.
I can't explain any other reason that she never wanted to have sex with you, then all of the sudden she wants it. And wants it now! Doesn't make any other sense except the pregnancy or she got a kick out of it.
The thrill of giving her hated husband sloppy seconds. Then I'm sure they laughed about the fact that BH didn't notice.
I agree that suggesting to someone to do something that will cause their soon to be ex spouse to lose their job is very reckless. It will most definitely backfire and result in a higher support obligation.
In this case, she is having the affair at work. The only chance for the marriage is to kill the affair, only after that can she get clear of the fog and then someday possibly work on R.
Sitting back and wringing hands and worrying about her job or not - is letting fear stifle taking action.
rule 1: Kill the affair - expose it to the light and share the truth.
I know there are other ideas on how to deal with cheating. For instance waiting at home, hoping they stop. For instance pleading, crying, and telling them how much you love them. For instance trying to win them back by out competing the AP. ALL of these approaches ends up destroying any respect the WS has for the BS, and they destroy the BS spirit and self esteem.
Then there is standing firm for your principals and demanding the WS and AP be honest about their affair to all part of their life.
Reporting to HR in a place where employees are not permitted to date most likely will only result in them being counseled and moved to different areas. Dismissal is only likely if one of them is a supervisor, or already on some kind of probation.
I agree that suggesting to someone to do something that will cause their soon to be ex spouse to lose their job is very reckless. It will most definitely backfire and result in a higher support obligation.
How has infidelity touched your life, stedfin? Just curious.
How has infidelity touched your life, stedfin? Just curious.
It hasn't.
I've never been a cheater nor been cheated on.
My marriage ended basically because we forgot how to get along with each other, and she was a big spender and I was a saver, I was much more firm with the kids and school, she let them do whatever they wanted including stay home even if they weren't sick. The fighting became constant but the sex didn't stop even after the divorce got rolling.
I just read through your thread but mainly your posts. The reason your wife picked the OM is he is the kind of man who stands up for himself and takes what he wants. Your the kind of man who doesn't stand up for himself. He is an alpha male and you are a beta male. Simply put she can no longer stay with you because she feels sorrry for you.
You are a nice guy and thats breeds contempt in a woman.
You haven't said one thing in this thread that will help you save your family, you haven't listened to anything that might help you. You don't even have a Var in the car.
The main reason for outing the affair is to short circuit the wife's planned demonizing of the BH to the kids. She's already alienating family and friends from the BH, the kids will be next. I'd say get a PI to follow them at "lunch" while you're waiting on the panty report.
Your running out of time, but by her bedding you, you just might have a chance
Even if you can't save your marriage, reading these links/books will save your next one if you have the willpower.
Definitely on the must read list for any man who is not a natural Arschloch. One thing I noticed on MMSL blog about a year ago was the article he wrote on the connection between vasectomies and subsequent affairs by the W due to the overall degradation of the semen quality. I'd noticed this before, just among my own acquaintances. Long ago, I decided I'd never have one for that reason. Did me no good, as prostate cancer took care of the whole "load."
I just read through your thread but mainly your posts. The reason your wife picked the OM is he is the kind of man who stands up for himself and takes what he wants. Your the kind of man who doesn't stand up for himself. He is an alpha male and you are a beta male. Simply put she can no longer stay with you because she feels sorrry for you.
You are a nice guy and thats breeds contempt in a woman.
You haven't said one thing in this thread that will help you save your family, you haven't listened to anything that might help you. You don't even have a Var in the car.
Your running out of time, but by her bedding you, you just might have a chance
Even if you can't save your marriage, reading these links/books will save your next one if you have the willpower.
I would wish you luck but you sound as if you have already thrown in the towel on your family.
Oh hell, Good luck
Yes, thank you. I already have and read both books. I know that I've been less than Alpha in this whole situation. She has noticed some of the changes I have made based on the discoveries I've made. She has been either threatened by them or doesn't believe that they will last (her words). It is also difficult for me to overturn 40 years of Beta training and flip the switch. But I am trying.
Look whether you like it or not---you are getting a gift---you are being freed up to find, and live with a woman, who will love you and won't cheat on you
The kids will get thru this---they will get thru it a lot better than if the 2 of you stay together in misery, unhappiness, and distrust---with no love
You cannot make your wife do what you want her to---so let this go
Do not make this acrimonius----just get the best deal you can on custody, and do the best you can on alimony, and comm. prop. split
As to criminal conversation, and alienation of affection---you have very little to no solid evid. to file a law suit
Just let it go, and do what is necessary to move your own life forward---those are the things you now need to be working on-----your wife has filed---its what she wants---stop tearing yourself apart----
We had another discussion tonight, re: post-divorce distribution of assets and custody of the kids. As I thought, she laid on the guilt trip of her keeping the house so as not to disrupt the kids lives.
There seems to be a backup at the lab - the underwear sample will take two weeks to process. Must be a lot of potential cheaters out there.
I am prepping myself for the news that the sample will come back negative. I still have the text messages to expose to the OM's girlfriend, but that would always leave doubt in my mind.
It is hard listening to my STBXW describe why our marriage can't work, knowing that she isn't saying a big reason for it. It is even harder for me not to fire back at her what I know. I read the text messages again today to make sure I wasn't overthinking things. Nope - I had it right. Curious to get her phone synced again to see if there are any snippets of information saved about them discussing my suspicions.
Someone said earlier that the chance of a post-affair relationship was only 3%. Looks like another of her coworkers (who is divorced, but with a new guy) saw a similar study as the text messages back and forth between them say "hopefully you are part of the lucky 2% as I am".
It is hard listening to my STBXW describe why our marriage can't work, knowing that she isn't saying a big reason for it. It is even harder for me not to fire back at her what I know. I read the text messages again today to make sure I wasn't overthinking things. Nope - I had it right.
Speaking of statistics, the vast majority of BSs are entirely unable to sit on even a scrap of evidence for more than about 5 minutes before confronting. You are way ahead. Stay strong.
Listening in on two toxic people "support" each other in their affairs is just disgusting. I can't imagine "sharing" that stuff with someone else.
If you ever do expose at work, I'd take it higher up the chain. Sounds like there's a veritable warren of cheating going on over there, the immediate boss probably could give a sh*t.
If you ever do expose at work, I'd take it higher up the chain. Sounds like there's a veritable warren of cheating going on over there, the immediate boss probably could give a sh*t.
The other divorce case-happy story doesn't involve my STBXW's workplace at all.
Where she works is a small company. If anyone lives in the greater Buffalo, NY area, please PM me...
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Re: EA has moved to PA - need plan of attack 
