keko

Is her schedule the same everytime she leaves? Is she at the gym while you're at work or after?

Can you find a temporary babysitter?

iheartlife

PPD, if she has it, is not causing her to text and call a man in California. But it's possible that if she is dx'd with PPD she will be given antidepressants, and that might make her 'need' this person less, which might help your purposeful work toward breaking up the affair. But the meds will not be what gets her to choose to cut off contact, like a switch or something.
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Gberg

She watches the baby in the afternoon til i get home...then she leaves a little later...then gone for 3-4 hours...no one is really home to watch the baby

keko

Is her "friend" at the gym as well?

Gberg

i dont know of anyone that lives here that she talks to

keko

How many car's in the family?

Can you place a VAR in her car?

Gberg

2 cars...i probably could somehow...ill look into it

keko

You can find them at walmart/bestbuy for very cheap.

Also somehow you have to check the gym after she has been gone for a while to confirm she is there. Or if there are any spy/surveillance stores nearby you may want to buy a GPS to track her.

Cubby

3 to 4 hours a day at the gym is a big red flag. You've got to, somehow, look into this. I work out regularly with weights and running and it's never 3 hours.

However, my wife used to be obsessed with working out at the gym, and would be there for quite a while (although probably not as long as 3 hours) and guess what? It turned out there was an OM involved.

Gberg, you're getting good advice. You need to find what you're up against before you strategize your next move. It's been said before, but it bears repeating: DO NOT CONFRONT HER WITH EVERY PIECE OF EVIDENCE YOU FIND. Also, don't tell her about this forum. This is your safe place. The people here feel your pain, know what you're going through.

Gberg

Im not going to confront her about anything for awhile...and I wont tell her about this forum...i mentioned it yesterday that i was on a forum but she doesnt know anything about it....Im not mentioning it anymore thats for sure...

she is using the 3 hours as a getaway...im sure she isnt there for the entire time and very well could have OM on the side...i have no idea at this point...but everyone is giving very good advice and i am trying to follow it...

keko

Gberg, the most important advice is for you to take care of yourself for whatever you may uncover. At the end of the day if she is cheating that's her problem for the lack of moral values, not yours. So please take care of yourself not only physically but emotionally as well. Hope for the best but plan for the worst.

If funds are tight at the moment, you could ask family members to loan you money. Also make sure to clear your internet history just incase she checks it.

warlock07

Buy one and return it within a month if you really cannot afford it. Cheap? yes but you have few options

lordmayhem

How is it she's able to stay over a month and a half on the mainland? - yes I'm from Hawaii.

Is she a stay at home mom?
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KanDo

[[COLOR="Red"]I am sorry you are here. I know how tough it is. Even more so with small children. Please thoroughly investigate before confrontation. Get your evidence, know where you stand, and don't reveal sources.


KanDo is out

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KanDo

If you want to feel better about your situation, read my story http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-...t-message.html

Almostrecovered

Oh god, please tell me you say book em Dano

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