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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 05-15-2012, 09:12 AM   #46 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pretty sure OM dumped her, don't feel as happy as I thought I would

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I can definitely see the blameshifting. That makes perfect sense. Frankly, she can blameshift all she wants. If it helps her sleep better at night, then hey...she can go for it. Either way, the outcome will be the same: D.

I do also believe that she does feel some shame for what she did. When I saw her a week ago Sunday, that was the first time we saw each other after I truly found out. She could barely look me in the face, and did not look comfortable.

Wired like me? Not sure what you mean there.

I'm not sure if she'll ever show remorse. That's not her nature. I think she'll feel it, but she'll never show it...at least to me. She's too proud. And even if she did show me true remorse, I honestly can't see it making any difference.

I haven't spoken to her since that last Sunday. No emails, no texts, nothing. Not even a "Happy Mother's Day."

I've had my moments, but they're becoming fewer and far between. I suspect that the battle will continue, but I've got a strong network of family and friends there to help me, whereas she pretty much has no one. I consider myself lucky.
What I meant by being wired like you was referring to guys that can come to a point of just walking away and staying strong in the process. I became a mess. Started drinking and letting my anger get the best of me. For me part of this is that I rent an apartment during the week and am home only on weekends and that played a big part in that my mind would invent things that were not happening and I was going bonkers, while my wife was trying to work things out and what she got was pent up anger when I came home.
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Old 05-15-2012, 12:28 PM   #47 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pretty sure OM dumped her, don't feel as happy as I thought I would

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Thank you. I really appreciate it.

I've been scoping out TAM for quite a while. I see people struggling, and I empathize because I've been there. I've run the gamut of emotions and doing stupid things. But there is light at the end of the tunnel; life does go on, and in my case, it's for the better that she's gone.

Plus I met someone INCREDIBLE. That sure helps a lot.
Ex high school friends dating at Denny's for $1000 Alex
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Old 05-15-2012, 12:36 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pretty sure OM dumped her, don't feel as happy as I thought I would

Just a word of caution. I wouldn't jump to that conclusion unless you have proof positive that OM has dumped her. This could merely be a bump in their affair and they're laying low or going a little NC for a while. This happens in affairs. Just read the threads in their forum.

Affair Discussion Forum • View forum - General Affair Discussion
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Old 05-15-2012, 12:39 PM   #49 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pretty sure OM dumped her, don't feel as happy as I thought I would

"Answer: This is the girl who came onto you when you were 18 and working together at Arby's, but we're too young and inexperienced to accept the offer."
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Old 05-15-2012, 12:43 PM   #50 (permalink)
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Just a word of caution. I wouldn't jump to that conclusion unless you have proof positive that OM has dumped her. This could merely be a bump in their affair and they're laying low or going a little NC for a while. This happens in affairs. Just read the threads in their forum.

Affair Discussion Forum • View forum - General Affair Discussion
That's very possible. But at this point I honestly don't care. I don't want to save my marriage. I want it over. I want her gone. Her true colors have shown and I can't bring myself to care about her anymore.

I know that OM wasn't going to be in a fling with her forever. A mutual friend told me that a couple weeks ago she already noticed him distancing himself from her. I guess his wife is having health problems and he's gotta be around for her more.

Whatever. It doesn't matter anymore. I have my life, I enjoy it, I have a cool girl that I've been chatting with who is open spending time together...I can't see how any of this is a bad thing for me.
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Old 05-15-2012, 01:26 PM   #51 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pretty sure OM dumped her, don't feel as happy as I thought I would

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That's very possible. But at this point I honestly don't care. I don't want to save my marriage. I want it over. I want her gone. Her true colors have shown and I can't bring myself to care about her anymore.

I know that OM wasn't going to be in a fling with her forever. A mutual friend told me that a couple weeks ago she already noticed him distancing himself from her. I guess his wife is having health problems and he's gotta be around for her more.

Whatever. It doesn't matter anymore. I have my life, I enjoy it, I have a cool girl that I've been chatting with who is open spending time together...I can't see how any of this is a bad thing for me.
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Knuckle bump! Give it up!

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Old 05-15-2012, 01:49 PM   #52 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pretty sure OM dumped her, don't feel as happy as I thought I would

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"Answer: This is the girl who came onto you when you were 18 and working together at Arby's, but we're too young and inexperienced to accept the offer."
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Welllll let's not make the same mistake twice shall we??
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Old 05-15-2012, 04:08 PM   #53 (permalink)
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Just a word of caution. I wouldn't jump to that conclusion unless you have proof positive that OM has dumped her. This could merely be a bump in their affair and they're laying low or going a little NC for a while. This happens in affairs. Just read the threads in their forum.

Affair Discussion Forum • View forum - General Affair Discussion
Wow. That website almost made me gag. Purely sickening.

And there are people who live like that. Disgusting.
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Old 05-15-2012, 07:07 PM   #54 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pretty sure OM dumped her, don't feel as happy as I thought I would

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Wow. That website almost made me gag. Purely sickening.

And there are people who live like that. Disgusting.
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I've read a few. I can't believe the women believe the man they are cheating with actually have feelings for them.

I read one a couple of days ago in the after dday section. Those are the ones that made me see red. One b!tch was making fun of her husband for taking her back. She said she showed him what kind of person she was and the dumbass still took her back. Of course she is still cheating.
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Old 05-15-2012, 08:34 PM   #55 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pretty sure OM dumped her, don't feel as happy as I thought I would

Well, I know that she got my response to her petition from my attorney. My copy was sent to her by mistake due to a forwarding issue from USPS. In my daughter's overnight bag, she had it in there with a sticky note that said "I received this by mistake. Please send to me any mail you have for me as well. Thank you."

She tries this when the going gets tough. She'll be all nice and cordial, thinking it'll let my guard down.

I have a feeling I just metaphorically knocked her upside the head. Haven't heard anything else from her yet...that's cuz I'm thinking she has no idea what to do, and is totally thrown for a loop. I have to admit...I'm loving thinking about that.
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Old 05-15-2012, 08:40 PM   #56 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pretty sure OM dumped her, don't feel as happy as I thought I would

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I've read a few. I can't believe the women believe the man they are cheating with actually have feelings for them.

I read one a couple of days ago in the after dday section. Those are the ones that made me see red. One b!tch was making fun of her husband for taking her back. She said she showed him what kind of person she was and the dumbass still took her back. Of course she is still cheating.
Was that lady's name Bernice? Was she latina?

Oh crap....
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Old 05-21-2012, 12:55 PM   #57 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pretty sure OM dumped her, don't feel as happy as I thought I would

All quiet on the western front.

When she came to pick up our daughters yesterday, she was normal. Distant and a little snotty. Dressed in kinda tight pants and a summery tanktop. Nothing over the top but enough i think to try to get me to wonder. And of course her hair was all done. But the more I looked at her, the more I realized I don't find her physically attractive anymore. She looked...frumpy. She had been working out a couple months ago and looked great, but yesterday I just didn't see it. Maybe I had my blunders on, or maybe she really was dumped and is no longer working out. I dunno.

I told her the next time she picks up the girls it'll be at my (no longer "our") house. She said that was fine. I was unloading a bunch of knickknacks from my car when she got there (lamps, candleholders, paintings, etc) so she could clearly see that I am getting it in order. Felt really good.

I think she's doing a 180 of her own. Which I actually really enjoy...that means I don't have to deal with her. Gives me time to talk to my new lady friend. I don't know what her angle is, but I can't shake the feeling that I'll hear from her at some point.
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