Thinking about leaving..please offer your advice & Support!!
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » Thinking about leaving..please offer your advice & Support!!

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 03-20-2009, 05:56 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Arrow Thinking about leaving..please offer your advice & Support!!

I am in my middle 20's & My husband cheated on me once a few years ago & I forgave him. I forgave him because I know people make mistakes. A few months later, I caught him talking to a girl on the internet & he said it only happen once..u know..blah..blah..blah. Basically, to my knowledge he has cheated once & almost cheated a few more times & I'm pretty much feed up. In the last month I found out he was talking to and texting an old friend and I told him that made me uncomfortable. He assured me that it wasn't anything more than a friendship, and I sort of believed him. I eventually figured out it was a little bit more going on. She sent him some explcit pics & numerous text msgs while he was at work. I'm so confused I dont know what to do. I want to seperate because I don't feel right but he doesn't understand y I want to. Please help!!

Young & Unsure!!!
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Old 03-20-2009, 06:31 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Sorry to hear that soccerwife. I am afraid you are right. The first time he cheated. It caused some inconvenience to him and pain to you. Now he is at it again. Unless there is consequence, people can remain in the same dynamic. Do you have children?
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Old 03-20-2009, 06:54 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Sorry to hear that soccerwife. I am afraid you are right. The first time he cheated. It caused some inconvenience to him and pain to you. Now he is at it again. Unless there is consequence, people can remain in the same dynamic. Do you have children?
No children.
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Old 03-20-2009, 07:53 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Thinking about leaving..please offer your advice & Support!!

Then go forward with your plans. You are young and will find the love and fidelity you deserve. You have given him enough chances to change his ways. You know he will escalate things if he is given an opportunity. That is if he hasn't already.
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Old 03-20-2009, 01:51 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Thinking about leaving..please offer your advice & Support!!

I agree,,, get out now, before you have any kids with this man.

He's a serial cheater...
so of course he's not going to tell you the truth, that he's cheating again.

Dump him..... at least that's what I would do.

You're sooo young, and have an entire lifetime ahead of you to find true love, and a man that won't cheat, yes... there are some out there, they can be faithful, loving, kind

You just have to wait till the right man comes along. Get rid of this jerk... and remember, if he's cheating, he's putting you at risk for STD's even if he uses a condom..

Don't tolerate it.
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Old 03-20-2009, 02:11 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Thinking about leaving..please offer your advice & Support!!

Oh ya thats hard I know you get with someone and get married and say it will be forever. And you get embarresed at the thought of a divorce but really its not healthy! and I am sure you deserve more!
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Old 03-20-2009, 02:27 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Oh ya thats hard I know you get with someone and get married and say it will be forever. And you get embarresed at the thought of a divorce but really its not healthy! and I am sure you deserve more!

It'll just get worse when you forgive him again.. It's better to be single again that to stick with your husband who only gives you pain. And you're still young, you can find the right man for you.. way better than him.
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Old 03-20-2009, 03:53 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Thinking about leaving..please offer your advice & Support!!

I have to agree with the advice given by others, cut your losses and get out now. I stuck it out for years with a liar and cheater, their is no prize at the end, no reward for your sacriface. If you were to have children with this man think how hard it will be to divorce then. He has proven to you what kind of person he is. If he had told you before you married that he liked to screw around and wasn't going to stop you would have never married him, correct? So now you DO know. If you stay, get used to the way you feel emotionally right now, that's your future. If you leave, one day you will find yourself laughing out loud because you are happy again, it takes a while to get there but it is worth it.

Be strong and decisive, you are in charge now.

Cooper
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Old 03-20-2009, 06:05 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Thanks for all the advice so far. It really helps!
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Old 03-30-2009, 04:15 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I agree with the other posters, get out now.
Divorce/Seperation becomes so much more complicated when there are children involved and much harder to walk away from the marriage.
Your young and have your life ahead of you, go for it! don't let this man ruin your self esteem any longer.
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Old 03-31-2009, 03:21 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Thinking about leaving..please offer your advice & Support!!

He has no respect for you and you know what he is up to. Kick him out. He thinks he can get away with this. You are better than that, and you deserve a husband who will be faithful.
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