Troll? Lol. No, no troll here. And please, all who think I have in anyway justified being an OW, please re-read my posts - I haven't justified anything. The point I have made, is that YOUR H did this to YOU and YOUR marriage! You want to hate the OW, go ahead if it helps - she doesn't care. It doesn't change that your H decided to cheat, doesn't change that he may have fallen in love with an OW and just because he got caught, doesn't mean his feelings for OW changed either. HE did this to YOU. If you wish to stay married to him after, that's up to you, but again, has nothing to do with OW, that's about you and what you want to live with.
I'm done with this conversation now as I'm just saying the same thing over and over again. Whatever argument you give against the OW is like defending and excusing your H for what he did. If it's what makes it easier for you, be my guest. Enjoy your denial folks, I'm done here and won't be reading any further comments. Posted via Mobile Device
I will never believe OW sit and wait to "get their claws" into a MM, but I do understand how a BS may view it as such. Somebody needs to be to blame for what happened to your M, but it wasn't the OW. However it happened, whoever initiated, family friend, married/engaged or otherwise, again, your H willingly let it happen... THAT is the bottom line regardless of how it all happened. HE was the one married to YOU and HE chose to cheat (in whatever manner of fashion he did). There is no other bottom line to this. Posted via Mobile Device
Don't even dream to know my situation. She DID sit back and wait for her opportunity. She pretended to be my friend for years. All the while, she waited for an opportunity. My husband has been dealing with severe depression, ALMOST from the moment we met this woman online. Thank GOD we never met her in person. I own up to the part I played in this. I pushed him away because my coping skills, regarding his illness, SUCKED! And as my friend, I believed she was trustworthy. Yea, I know, mistake made when you meet people online. I suspected she was interested in him when she had problems with her boyfriend at the time...she claimed he was cheating with his ex. We believed her.
I put that out of my mind for years, because nothing came of it. Fast forward to a few months ago. I was pushing him away, not dealing well with his new meds, diagnoses, etc. But, again, I thought she was a friend. And I figured "hey, I'm pushing him away, he needs a friend to talk to... I don't care"... and that's what did it. The one thing I am sure of: he loves me. When given the choice of fixing our marriage or continuing to talk to her, he chose me. Oh, and the fact that she looks a LOT like me? LOL in this case, it tells me that I was ALWAYS on his mind. She gave him the words he needed to hear from me. And when I got MY act together and gave him what he had been missing FROM ME... he dropped her without a second thought. So, yes, I do know he made the choice to wander. But I also know that when it came down to it, he chose me. It was always about me.
Troll? Lol. No, no troll here. And please, all who think I have in anyway justified being an OW, please re-read my posts - I haven't justified anything. The point I have made, is that YOUR H did this to YOU and YOUR marriage! You want to hate the OW, go ahead if it helps - she doesn't care. It doesn't change that your H decided to cheat, doesn't change that he may have fallen in love with an OW and just because he got caught, doesn't mean his feelings for OW changed either. HE did this to YOU. If you wish to stay married to him after, that's up to you, but again, has nothing to do with OW, that's about you and what you want to live with.
I'm done with this conversation now as I'm just saying the same thing over and over again. Whatever argument you give against the OW is like defending and excusing your H for what he did. If it's what makes it easier for you, be my guest. Enjoy your denial folks, I'm done here and won't be reading any further comments. Posted via Mobile Device
It's not "love"...it's the ol 80/20. Sometimes in a marriage the 80 starts to drop, that's when a 20 will enter.
He or she will be so glad to have that small little 20 that is missing in the marriage, but don't get it twisted...it's still a 20. 80 always beats a 20.
Also it's called displacement. That fog is better than any drug. The 20 could be as simple as a blow job a week. Maybe it only happens on special occasions, but for a brief time, it's the bees knees.
It's this so called fog that makes the 20 SEEM like an 80. The wife is creme brûlée and the OW/OM is just jello. If it were real love, than the outsider would let the one in the marriage go.
Would let them work it out or divorce. Then wait the proper amount of time, then start a relationship. The outsider takes it upon themselves to interject. It's not anyone's job to "help" out with easy sex or blow jobs.
No it's not love...that is the very definition of a cum dumpster. When sex comes into play it's easy to get caught up and catch feelings. You are not soul mates. You are a mistake. It's not a wonderful time it's not a beautiful loving tender relationship.
It was just easier than actually having the balls to say to their spouse, I think we have a problem. Let's be adults and work it out or divorce. It is really that simple.
I speak from experience. I could have had an affair or divorced. I would have been justified in doing so. But I didn't. I did not take the easy route.
I said I want to be here and I want to fix our problems. My husband found tam and we joined. I took the hard way by staying and working through our bullsh!t.
Our problems seemed massive. WE did the hard work. It would have been sooo easy to run away. I had the balls to think about leaving do I had the balls to stay and work on us.
That's my point....the 80 subtracts a little. So when this 20 comes along, it seems like the best thing since sliced bread.
But they are still a 20. Your spouse cooks for you cleans, washes out ya drawers, looks after you when you are sick. And basically loves you, faults and all.
That 20 will not do these things. Maybe your 80 slipped down a few notches, that means its time to talk.
That's my point....the 80 subtracts a little. So when this 20 comes along, it seems like the best thing since sliced bread.
But they are still a 20. Your spouse cooks for you cleans, washes out ya drawers, looks after you when you are sick. And basically loves you, faults and all.
That 20 will not do these things. Maybe your 80 slipped down a few notches, that means its time to talk.
My XWs did none of these things for me. In fact, these are the things I did for them, as well as work full time. Yet, they cheated.
I have never fought over a man. If my man wants another woman, i would be heartbroken, but life goes on! I have lived through shet before, and I survived.
My value isn't tied into whatever man I'm screwing at the moment. If my husband chose to leave me for another woman, that's on him. He'd be giving up a great life, but hey, we're all on a path and at some time, the path would come full circle. I am a woman with or without my husband. It's the children he'd have to deal with in the long run. If he wants that pain and wrath, then so be it.
My dad left for drugs. not an OW, but the same in my eyes. My wrath was like hell's fury. He had to answer my questions and my concerns. We had no relationship for 17 years. Was it worth it? I'm sure he would say it was not. But that was his choice. I don't blame him, because as a woman I can see what happened. But the little girl inside of me was effed for a long time.
So....OW, you got the weak man to sleep with you. That doesn't mean the wife takes him back. however, the children are who you robbed.
Bravo to you. Keep your nose and va-jay-jay out of other people's families.
And I know she's still reading. This shet is like crack
ETA: When my dad left, my mom's life went on and she outlived him AND did great for herself. It was me who was in therapy and is STILL in therapy for what my father did. So, OWs, if you can live with that, then be my guest.
That's my point....the 80 subtracts a little. So when this 20 comes along, it seems like the best thing since sliced bread.
But they are still a 20. Your spouse cooks for you cleans, washes out ya drawers, looks after you when you are sick. And basically loves you, faults and all.
That 20 will not do these things. Maybe your 80 slipped down a few notches, that means its time to talk.
I have washed out some drawls...let me tell ya. LOL!
Oaksthorn you sound like me. I agreeing to his begging and pleading for R, just so the OW couldn't have him. I didn't even want to stay together, but I was determined to 1. Keep him so she would lose. (she lost) 2. Stay with him so when he least suspected I would revenge affair his azz. (I didn't )
We talked about if the OW knew or didn't know their AP was married, well in my case she knew. He threw her under the bus hard on DDay, and she still came fishing a year later after NC. I would say she is worthy of my loathing & hate.
Oh, crap. Are you under the impression that lawyers and doctors are smart? I am a lawyer and I am a virtual idiot.I'd sterilize myself, but it is too late. I have 5 kids.
Judges? Several of my friends are judges and all they have going for them is good hair and they smoke a lot of weed.
Half the judiciary in my county is barely literate.
OW are lawyers, nurses, doctors, judges and any profession inbetween. They are also smart enough to keep an A going, often for many years, without the BS having a clue. What could that say about the BS?
Eww. So the BS is the bad guy cause she doesn't know she's being cheated on? Slagging the BS that you help betray is so cheap.
I think Non is pissed off that the married man she was fvcking did not leave his wife for her. Her defensiveness and bitterness are pretty apparent.
Sorry, but the BS is deluding themselves if they think their CS does not fall in love with the OW, it isn't about any fog either, it's about feelings. I'm not saying every affair results in love, but to blindly sweep it aside as an impossibility, that is the BS being in denial. All this blame the BS puts on the OW, did the OW break your vows? Did the OW hold a gun to your H head ... nope, they did not. Most times, it's your H who chased the OW and you know it. And if he didn't chase, he sure didn't put up much or any of a fight did he? So please stop questioning the motives or morals of the OW, whatever they are, it doesn't change what your H did nor does it change that you've chosen to stay M to a known cheat. Stop questioning anybody else's involvement and figure out why you would let a man who chose to do this to you remain in your life and why you couldn't pull up your big girl panties and leave someone who would treat you this way. Posted via Mobile Device
Sorry Honey, there are very extensive studies that do not support your claim. It is rare for a man to want to leave his wife for the OW and the 3 percent who do end up leaving or cheating on the other woman eventually.
My cheater spouse talks about the OW as if she was a **** who was just available. A cheap opportunity to cake eat.
With that said, I feel the same about my cheater husband. He is just a **** who took the opportunity to cheat with another **** cake eater.
I hope you Married cheater wants you....for now.
BTW: I read the emails and text from the OW to my husband, the other woman chased my husband and made it obvious she was willing to spread her legs for any man.
Yes, my **** husband went willingly.
Still, the studies also show that it is typically the woman who first signals easy availability in studies about married cheaters. Many men are worried about sexual harassment suits so they let the woman make the first move.
Lastly, you seem awfully invested in convincing those reconciling to leave the cheater. Any ulterior motives?
Well you are just a plaything and a distraction and the married cheater will eventually get bored of you, too.
222Likes
Re: What is it with OW's.... 
If my man wants another woman, i would be heartbroken, but life goes on! I have lived through shet before, and I survived.
