I see your point. I need to read up more on this stuff. You're right. At one of our counselling sessions my W announced that I "needed to grow a pair". I guess she might be out shopping for a rental "pair" herself lately?!
We used to have sex several times a week. However, the last 3 months it's been maybe once every 3 weeks. And then she wants it doen in 5 minutes so she can get some sleep. She is often tired at night and has started taking sleeping pills at home. This means she's out cold by 9:30PM ... not much happening most nights.
Interestingly, last night she was very receptive to sex. That took me by surprised.
A sudden unexplained drop in frequency of sex is another huge red flag. She is used to getting it several times a week. She is probably STILL maintaining the same frequency - just not with you.
The sleeping pills taken early in the evening gives her an excuse to save herself for the OM.
The comment that adultery is no big deal is very disturbing.
Just a question -- besides the kids -- why would you want to be married to this woman -- even if she isn't having an affair ?? Divorce is not easy -- but the kids and you deserve better.
I am very tempted to confront her and ask her outright about an A.
I asked my wife straight up if she was "seeing someone else" when I had red flags whacking me in the head for months. She, of course, said "no." Cheaters lie. Don't waste your breath asking her. Believe nothing that comes out of a cheaters mouth. Continue to monitor...get the proof. There isn't another way, sadly.
Well, I am actually home with the kids most nights and I would miss that if we got a D. Funny, the marriage seems more like a business relationship now. I'm home to run the ship while she works, she takes care of kid stuff, etc. We are almost like roommates, sharing a house.
Well, I am actually home with the kids most nights and I would miss that if we got a D. Funny, the marriage seems more like a business relationship now. I'm home to run the ship while she works, she takes care of kid stuff, etc. We are almost like roommates, sharing a house.
Bingo!!!! That is not good.
Don't confront yet, if you have no proof she will cut you down if I think she is the woman I think she is. Probably even make you think YOU are having an affair. I know how bad you want to ask her but please wait. Posted via Mobile Device
I've thought about that but, I want to try the VAR and GPS idea first.
I understand this logic. I also see that Jerry is posting on your thread and that you read his story.
My suggestion to you is go look in the mirror -- and tell yourself you will not be "so nice". In other words -- grow a pair today -- and let her rant and rage at you all she wants. You are letting her walk all over you like a puppy and you are just taking it.
Please don't take this as a personal assault on your character -- but sometimes a change is needed because the person and the way you respond to her now is NOT working.
It may have worked before -- but she has changed -- and NOW you MUST change !!
I understand this logic. I also see that Jerry is posting on your thread and that you read his story.
My suggestion to you is go look in the mirror -- and tell yourself you will not be "so nice". In other words -- grow a pair today -- and let her rant and rage at you all she wants. You are letting her walk all over you like a puppy and you are just taking it.
Please don't take this as a personal assault on your character -- but sometimes a change is needed because the person and the way you respond to her now is NOT working.
It may have worked before -- but she has changed -- and NOW you MUST change !!
You're right. I have been thinking of this ... becoming more independent ... doing more things with my friends, giving myself more priority, becoming more assertive, etc. I don't plan on running after her and trying to win her attention. The heck with that nonsense.
Are her siblings the kind that will keep a secret no matter how damaging it may be? Can you account for her time when she is staying with them?
Actually, the sibling is rarely home and the W uses it as a place to crash, most often by herself (mehopes). If the W was having an affair with someone from work, I couldn't imagine a more ideal setup for her!
Actually, the sibling is rarely home and the W uses it as a place to crash, most often by herself (mehopes). If the W was having an affair with someone from work, I couldn't imagine a more ideal setup for her!
How far is that house? Any chance you or a friend can driveby one day/night?
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Re: suspect my wife ... GPS recommendations? 
