So my new gf and I are in bed sleeping, and the STBEW calls. She goes on and on about how much she loves me and needs me and that if I will take her back, she will lick my boots, and she won't object if I **** other women, but will be my slave, etc, etc.. She starts crying and says that the next time she tries to kill herself she will succeed. I am scared to death, and get dressed and keep her on the phone while my GF calls her sister to find out what the **** is happening. Her sister took her to the hospital again and it turns out that she has been having hormonal problems and it has screwed up her depression medication. THIS SUCKS!!! Is this how it's going to be from now on? I feel like I'm being held hostage because of her emotional problems. I am really trying to be supportive, but where does that end? I don't want to be the cause of her continued problems, so I guess I'm on the hook for her to get her head straight. The only good thing is my GF has been a ROCk through this and is willing to help in any way she can. She told me right after, that she's in love with me and will always be there for me.
It's just so depressing . I have always tried , even after the affair , to do right by her, and support her during her crisis, but when will it ever end? I've moved on and am in the beginnings of a really awesome relationship, and I just want a little peace.
It's just so depressing . I have always tried , even after the affair , to do right by her, and support her during her crisis, but when will it ever end? I've moved on and am in the beginnings of a really awesome relationship, and I just want a little peace.
So the operative question here is exactly WHY she wants you back? What is missing in her life (besides your presence)? It appears that you have moved on and are in another relationship and that your Ex would take you back "as is", which would suggest that she is lonely, but is that all there is to it?
She appears to still have a need for "something" from you which hasn't been met outside of that marriage, and if it is your goal to encourage her to move on, THAT would be the issue that needs to be addressed.
It's just so depressing . I have always tried , even after the affair , to do right by her, and support her during her crisis, but when will it ever end? I've moved on and am in the beginnings of a really awesome relationship, and I just want a little peace.
No, you haven't moved on.
She is no longer your problem. You can't control what she does.
I know this sounds harsh, but if she kills herself it isn't your fault.
You can't allow her to hold you hostage by manipulating your emotions any longer.
Bryan, she is nothing less than spectacular, and whatever happens, this isn't going to be any rebound relationship. She is dropdead gorgeous, loving, INTELLIGENT, and nurturing, and she seems to like ol BB a lot!!
Thanks, my friends, but it isn't as easy as all that. I could "go dark", on her, but what would that say about me? I am a man of principle, and I feel honor bound to help her.
Badblood, how are you helping her now? Every time you respond to her, you give her hope that you are coming back to her. Unless you are actually thinking about going back to her, that is cruel.
So the operative question here is exactly WHY she wants you back? What is missing in her life (besides your presence)? It appears that you have moved on and are in another relationship and that your Ex would take you back "as is", which would suggest that she is lonely, but is that all there is to it?
She appears to still have a need for "something" from you which hasn't been met outside of that marriage, and if it is your goal to encourage her to move on, THAT would be the issue that needs to be addressed.
Sorry but this is wrongly put.
It may very well be true that such an issue needs to be addressed but it needs to be addressed by his x-wife not Badblood.
BadBlood needs to take mori`s advice above and go dark on her.
This ain`t his problem and he`s now being negatively affected by his ex yet again or should I say "still".
There`s a quote I stumbled on somewhere ...
"When you find that YOU are reaping the consequences of what someone else has sown.....you are enabling."*
-Unknown
Stop it BB...go dark on her.
You`re her crutch and that`s just as bad for her as it is for you.
Cut her off. She's manipulative and controlling, and if she kills herself, that will be really sad, but it will not be your responsibility.
I would have to assume that when they split up, she would have had the emotional support of friends and family. If so, then those are the people she should be leaning on. Certainly not her ex that has moved on.
Manipulation, as you mentioned on your other post, seems alarmingly accurate.
36Likes
Bad day at Black Rock 
