I believe I cheated. I didn't think anything of it at the time because I was caught up in the moment.
I have been texting with my ex. It started out innocent enough. just talking like friends because I have always considered him my best friend. Well, we got to reminiscing about the days we were together and one thing led to another.....the next thing I know we're talking about what would happen if we ever saw each other again and how we would do it. (we live 6 hours apart so it would be practically impossible for it to happen physically.)
My husband hates my ex. I tried to stop talking to my ex earlier this year because I knew my husband didn't like it. but I can't help but want to talk to him. I miss him and feel like he's the one that got away. I apparently have no will power. I started talking to him again about a month ago and that is when the sexting started. It doesn't happen all the time but we flirt with each other and very rarely does it get to the point of sexting.
It feels really good in the moment, but afterwards I feel bad.
Far be it from me to judge; I cheated on my wife. But you're headed down a very steep slippery slope, between your unsatisfying intimacy in your marriage and this relationship with your ex. I'd guess you're about 6 hours and 2 drinks away from doing something you'll regret a lot. Have you tried individual counseling?
Far be it from me to judge; I cheated on my wife. But you're headed down a very steep slippery slope, between your unsatisfying intimacy in your marriage and this relationship with your ex. I'd guess you're about 6 hours and 2 drinks away from doing something you'll regret a lot. Have you tried individual counseling?
C Posted via Mobile Device
I see a therapist every other week. She knows about my ex. I would never be able to see my ex as we only have one vehicle, so I honestly don't think anything would happen. If he lived in the same town or the next town over...that would be a different story.
I know I'm heading down a slippery slope. I'm trying to get help.
How good would the moment feel, if your present H., put divorce on the table---do you think that moment would feel good----but then again you could run to your X---right---I am sure he will take care of you just as your present H---does now
What does it take to wake you up---how about life on your own---working 2 jobs, to make ends meet----will that wake you up----or once again---maybe your X---who you couldn't make it with before---will do all the things for you, that your present H---does----time to wake up, from your dream, and join us all in reality!!!!!
And what happens if your ex decides he'd like to make a road trip? I applaud what you're trying to do, but until you deal with the causes of your unhappiness, you'll be at a high risk of "wrong time, wrong place, wrong person". But I wish you well, whatever that ends up meaning to you!
I would get the book Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass.
Your ex is a fantasy escape from the problems of your life. Sexting makes you feel beautiful and sexy. But the emotional support and the feelings of being sexy are things you know you should be receiving from your husband.
You are demonstrating how much of a compulsion an EA can be. You cannot stop by yourself. Even your counseling isn't doing that for you.
The only way to stop is fully confess to your husband. He is going to be furious. But you have been hiding your true self from him for a very long time. That is not a marriage.
Do you want to stay married? Or, are you secretly hoping to get back with your ex, and maybe if your husband discovers the truth, you will have passively-agressively achieved the divorce you're too weak to ask for?
We have been married 7 years. we knew each other three months before getting married. He was newly divorced and I was newly broken up with my soul mate because of a miss-communication. I ended up marrying "A" to prove to "M" that I was marriage material. I was young..24. a year after I got married I found out M had purchased a ring for me.
I've never gotten over my ex...7 years later I still miss him like crazy. But he is now a newly wed (2 years) with a baby boy (2.5months). We talk all the time...my husband doesn't know that I talk to him now.
He doesn't like me talking to M because he knows my feelings for him. In March I wrote a letter to M saying that I couldn't talk to him anymore (by talk...i mean about things that friends talk about...the weather, work, kids...etc. nothing romantic). I cried the entire time I read the letter to A to get his approval to send it. I cried because it was like saying good bye to a loved one that I would never ever see again.
Well a month ago, I messaged him again and we've been talking since. We have been able to talk about how we broke up, why we broke up. We've both gotten closure from that. If we weren't married, we would def. get back together. We live 6 hours apart, so there is no worry for physical affair.
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Originally Posted by PurpleTurtle80
but i can't. I don't have an income or a vehicle. I wouldn't be able to support me and the kids. He doesn't make enough money for any substantial child support or alimony. i'm going to school full time at night...i'll be done in November.
He knows I want a divorce; yet he thinks everything is just peachy. I've printed papers twice over the last 3 years. Our relationship sucks. I don't feel like I'm treated how i should be treated...he is passive aggressive and cuts me down all the time with sarcasm.
There is so much to this story that I can't possibly put it in one thread. I'm tired and exhausted from trying to get this marriage to work and he is just skating by.
I moved out in February but had to move back in after 2 months because the funds for the apartment ran out. I did NOT want to move back in. but what was I going to do be homeless?
I'm misserable, he treats me like crap, the sex sucks. We have one vehicle so the kids and I don't get out during the day. We don't do things as a family.
I'm confused and scared.
Start looking for work to support yourself and your children and be honest with your husband and tell him that you are sexting your ex-boyfriend and that you no longer desire him and want a divorce.
Your husband deserves to be happy and he will never be until you are no longer in his life.
I see a therapist every other week. She knows about my ex. I would never be able to see my ex as we only have one vehicle, so I honestly don't think anything would happen. If he lived in the same town or the next town over...that would be a different story.
I know I'm heading down a slippery slope. I'm trying to get help.
So if you had a trusted friend or family member give you a ride to his location, you would not have any other excuse left? It's only the vehicle situation stopping you? How many vehicles does the ex have? Enough to visit you?
Please excuse the snippy reply, call it a reality check, but it appears that you would indeed cheat if you had that pesky transportation issue resolved.
So, cutting to the chase, you appear to very much want to get back with your ex without consideration to your current spouse. Now would be a good time to focus on your own marriage and understand why it is you want to cheat, before the real damage is done.
Do you have any idea how far a man will go for sex?
6 hours is nothing.
That sexting gets hot enough and he'll make it happen.
What then?
I've been reading your threads and I really think you should divorce.
You want more than your husband can ever give you and that's understandable under the conditions.
The mistake was made when you married on both your and your husbands parts.
End it as compassionately as you can before it gets ugly.
It's just matter of time. Posted via Mobile Device
How good would the moment feel, if your present H., put divorce on the table---do you think that moment would feel good----but then again you could run to your X---right---I am sure he will take care of you just as your present H---does now
What does it take to wake you up---how about life on your own---working 2 jobs, to make ends meet----will that wake you up----or once again---maybe your X---who you couldn't make it with before---will do all the things for you, that your present H---does----time to wake up, from your dream, and join us all in reality!!!!!
Thanks for your honesty. I know I need to come to reality...I'm trying.
Well my EA sounds pretty similar to what your involved in. What kind of help do you want? You know what you are involved in is wrong or you wouldn't be here or feeling bad afterwards.
Why is he - the one who describe as your "best friend" and "the one that got away" - your Ex? Why are you married to someone who is by your own admission second choice? Do you really believe that or is it just affair foggy talk making you say that?
To help: First do you love your husband? Do you want to be married to him? Any help from us, your therapist or anyone else has to have the honest answer to those two questions first - so??
Words are just that. Words. You say you want help and you are trying. But you're not as long as you keep up the charade.
Either you end the affair or you don't. If your husband finds out, get ready for a whole world of nastiness. The truth has a funny way of revealing itself at the most inopportune times.
I'm assuming you've kept the ex around as "friend" for the entirety of your marital relationship. Double betrayal. Especially since your husband can't stand him. It's no wonder why.
Thank you everyone for your comments. I know I need to come to reality.
I'm scared of divorce...I've never lived on my own before. Chalk that up to a spoiled childhood and not learning or being taught how to be a responsible adult.
I have abandonment issues because of my father passing away when I was 11. Which has driven me to acceptance from men from the times I was 15.
I do not expect anything from my ex if I were to get a divorce. He is newly married and has a baby. I know I need to leave him alone. I'm trying. I want to text him really bad right now, I'm trying so hard not to.
90Likes
I have a confession. 
I know I need to come to reality...I'm trying.
