Have some ethics.
Your AP has already started dating someone.
You have a good person in your wife. You have kids.
If you are sincere, confess with your wife. You have already told your parents.
I am sorry for your wife.
I have been with my wife for 9 years and after about 2 years met another woman. I have 2 kids with my wife and although we get a long, I do not have any desire to show her affection.
I have had an affair for 7 years and just recently she became divorced and is now asking me to decide what I want to do.,
The "other girl" has 3 kids and works in another town. I am contemplating divorce and not sure what to do.
The other girl left her husband about 6 months ago and was waiting for me to decide and just recently started dating and it is killing me.
I know Its not fair to my wife, nor do I want to lose my children. I am a complete mess and haven't been able to eat for days.
I know I am an awful person..
So what was your question again? Your OW is divorcing and dating after having a 7 year affair with you, and you don't know what to do? It is at THIS POINT you are considering divorcing your wife of 9 years? So that you could marry this OW?
I think you should go for it. Really. You two really deserve each other. Let your wife go and marry this OW. I think most of us here have enough intuition to know exactly how that will turn out.
I know I could be on a Jerry Springer episode but this is true. I am looking for help and my parents tell me to stay for the kids.. They also said leave the other woman and I could fix my marriage.
Not sure if there is anything left
There isn't. You disconnected from your wife years ago, and I'm sure you don't have the balls to be honest with her now. Why would she want you at this point if you were to be honest? If you were mine I'd kick you out so fast my foot would end up wedged up your a**.
I have been with my wife for 9 years and after about 2 years met another woman. I have 2 kids with my wife and although we get a long, I do not have any desire to show her affection.
So two years into the marriage and you started cheating already. 7 out of 9 years? I feel sorry for your BW, she doesn't know that most of her marriage has been a lie. Let me guess, since you have two children now, you had at least one of those children while in your affair. That's downright despicable. Of course you don't have any desire to show her the love she deserves, you've been giving it to your OW.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeeperyj
I have had an affair for 7 years and just recently she became divorced and is now asking me to decide what I want to do.,
And you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, eh?
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeeperyj
The "other girl" has 3 kids and works in another town. I am contemplating divorce and not sure what to do.
And do you think that those kids will take a shine to you, the man who helped wreck their lives? You need a dose of reality. You should divorce, not for you, but to set your poor betrayed wife free.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeeperyj
The other girl left her husband about 6 months ago and was waiting for me to decide and just recently started dating and it is killing me.
See? If they cheat with you, they will cheat ON you. And this is the type of woman you've ruined your marriage for?
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeeperyj
I know Its not fair to my wife, nor do I want to lose my children. I am a complete mess and haven't been able to eat for days.
Damn right its not fair to her. You haven't been able to eat for days? But I guess you have no problem eating for the last 7 years, yes? Yes, you will lose your children, this is called consequences, and you must suffer the consquences for your actions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeeperyj
I know I am an awful person..
You may or may not be an awful person, but from what you describe here, I'll tell you this: You are an awful husband, that's for sure. You've cheated on your BW early into the marriage and you continued to string her along for 7 years, making her believe the lies that you fed her. She has no idea that her marriage has been a lie. An honorable man would have set her and the kids free long ago or thrown himself at his BWs mercy and try and fix the damage that he's done. Instead, all you're thinking about is yourself, how it affects you, and your feelings for this OW. It's all about you.
Man up, tell your wife what you've done, do whatever it takes to help her heal and do what you promised you'd do on the day you married her(if she'll have you) Posted via Mobile Device
I don't think he thinks the grass is greener,just that his cake eating days are over with this particular OW.Maybe worried he's going to be outed by her and then he may actually have to do something about that "awful man" thingy.
So two years into the marriage and you started cheating already. 7 out of 9 years? I feel sorry for your BW, she doesn't know that most of her marriage has been a lie. Let me guess, since you have two children now, you had at least one of those children while in your affair. That's downright despicable. Of course you don't have any desire to show her the love she deserves, you've been giving it to your OW.
And you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, eh?
And do you think that those kids will take a shine to you, the man who helped wreck their lives? You need a dose of reality. You should divorce, not for you, but to set your poor betrayed wife free.
See? If they cheat with you, they will cheat ON you. And this is the type of woman you've ruined your marriage for?
Damn right its not fair to her. You haven't been able to eat for days? But I guess you have no problem eating for the last 7 years, yes? Yes, you will lose your children, this is called consequences, and you must suffer the consquences for your actions.
You may or may not be an awful person, but from what you describe here, I'll tell you this: You are an awful husband, that's for sure. You've cheated on your BW early into the marriage and you continued to string her along for 7 years, making her believe the lies that you fed her. She has no idea that her marriage has been a lie. An honorable man would have set her and the kids free long ago or thrown himself at his BWs mercy and try and fix the damage that he's done. Instead, all you're thinking about is yourself, how it affects you, and your feelings for this OW. It's all about you.
This post was eye opening and really helpful... Thank you
I wasn't ready for marriage 9 years ago, and have made horrible decisions. There is a part of me that thinks I can still save this. My wife at first used to do all sorts of things with me, she then (before the affair) slowly stopped doing things with me.. She said she liked golfing, so I bought us a set of clubs, we went one and never again. She said she liked biking, I bought bikes we went once and never again.. I tried this for a couple of years and couldn't find one thing we both like to do. Of course after the first 2 years, I didn't put forth the effort.
Both of your children were born during the affair...
You said one was 3 and one was 6.
Let your wife go.You will still see the kids but they will have a chance to heal with you out of the house.
I always am amazed at the mentality... Your mistress is now sleeping with another man after her divorce...are you sure she was only sleeping with you for those 7 years? I mean its not like shes a faithful person or anything. did it not bother you that you were exposing you wife to possible disease?
144Likes
Re: I have had an affair for 7 years 
