jeeperyj

I have been with my wife for 9 years and after about 2 years met another woman. I have 2 kids with my wife and although we get a long, I do not have any desire to show her affection.

I have had an affair for 7 years and just recently she became divorced and is now asking me to decide what I want to do.,

The "other girl" has 3 kids and works in another town. I am contemplating divorce and not sure what to do.

The other girl left her husband about 6 months ago and was waiting for me to decide and just recently started dating and it is killing me.

I know Its not fair to my wife, nor do I want to lose my children. I am a complete mess and haven't been able to eat for days.

I know I am an awful person..

Sara8

Geez.

Why do you stay with your wife if you are not physically attracted to her.

Do your wife a favor and ask for a divorce.

I don't think you are a terrible person. I think you are self absorbed and selfish, but not terrible.

lamaga

I think you should free your wife to find someone who will show her affection and not cheat on her.

Lon

Your W must be a very strong and loyal woman to persist in a marriage that must be lousy due to a H that has invested all his emotional energy elsewhere.

Please divorce your W so that huge weight of a one-sided marriage can be lifted from her and she can have a chance to flourish again.

As to your relationship with your mistress, I have no advice, you will both just do what you want anyways I'm sure.

CandieGirl

What is it on TAM these days???? Where are they all coming from???

Almostrecovered

sorry, it's threads like these that get me riled up

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TorontoBoyWest

Show your wife some respect for once in your marriage.

Let her live her life loved, since you obviously don't have the character and courage to do so.


Then sit back and watch this OW cheat on you, cause that is more then likely your future. Do you think for a second OW has any respect for you?

strugglinghusband

Yeah, no ****, I think the govt put something in the water...

strugglinghusband

If you know you are acting like a awful person, its real easy.. QUIT IT! do whats right, its really not that hard, really its not, you just have to start, its in you, find it, let it out..........

jeeperyj

When you say do what's right, what is the chance I could end the affair and be decent to my wife, after all I think it's the affair that caused me to ignore her..
my w is a very strong person and doesn't deserve what I have done.

mommyofthree

I agree with you...you are awful.

So the OW was ok with everything for 7 years and now that her "relationship" has ended she wants you to do the same or lose her? Hmmm!


Nope its not fair to your wife and im sure you do not want to lose your children BUT should this had not been a thought 7 years ago? As long as you were both tied down to others you had no problem but now your mistress is dating you have a problem? Really?!

You have no right to be upset she is dating.

Almostrecovered

7/9ths of your marriage was a complete and utter sham

forgetting the question that your wife would even want R-
do you really think you can save it?

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Ingalls

7 years??? 7??? I know you want advice on what to do BUT haven't you already made the choice??? So why hold on to your poor wife all this time and lead her to believe she is in a life long marriage?

and really you care about your children? Hum-odd because part of parenting is being a role model and I believe you and your mistress (oh she was married too w/kids-good one on ya'lls part messing with everyone's life around you) screwed that one up.

7 years???

lamaga

Am I the only one who gets the feeling we're being played?

Lon

Gee, ya think? Now there is a revelation. I would say your chances of ending it, explaining it to your W, truly reconciling, and having complete transparency and trust with each other are next to nothing.

If you both really want a good marriage, you could work at it, but after cheating for nearly your entire marriage, why would either of you really want it? I suspect if you chose to return to your marriage and be yourself with your W for once, she probably wouldn't even like the person you really are, she has grown accustomed to the jerk she thought she was committed to for life.