I originally posted this before I tried to kill myself. What happend was the night in question, I was at the family home and Jess was at her mothers. I told her I was going to post a thread of my story. She said ok. After she had read alot of the responses she became angry and I took it down. This is when she admitted to having a conversation with the other guy at work who asked her out for a coffee and had something he wanted to tell her, she told him she would let him know. The next day she phoned him before she went to her mothers, she said she wanted to know what he wanted to tell her, he said he wanted to tell her in person, she refused to meet and if what he wanted to say was that important he should tell her now.
This Richard guy is apparently seeing another girl and has been for a week or so. However he seems to be playing games with Jess still wanting her in his life no doubt just for sexual favours.
Thankyou for all you're advice. Just to shed more light on the whole story, for the last 3 weeks I have been in a state of "I want you, I dont want you, I want you, I dont want you". Every time I have told her I dont wish to be with her or have given her reason to think its over contact with the other guy has occurred. I have asked her why she is still in contact with this person if like she claims she is so "ashamed" of what she did. Her response is because she thought it was over between us and we were seperated. Jess has said she loves me and wants to work things out and realises Richard was just using her. Just to give you some insight on what happend and why I'm still here after my suicide attempt, I was talking to Jess via internet before I made the stupid decision to attempt it. Jess had been the one who suspected something and rushed to the house to find me lying on the sofa unconscious(I had taken an overdose). She said she was hysterical and through my attempt at killing myself has come to realise how much she doesnt want to loose me. Ultimately she has told me she loves me, wishes for us to goto coucelling and wants to try again. Sadly I have seen no proof she loves me, she has not left her job: she says because we wouldnt survive financially, and apparently this Richard is transfering to another store and she says shes going to see if and when hes doing this, which she hasnt...
I hope her return to you is not temporary til you get out of your suicidal ideas.
And I wonder how she calls herself a Christian with all the serial cheating she has done.
__________________ Davelli0331:If a GNO, or alcohol, or an attractive coworker, or a past flame on FB were all that were needed for someone to cheat, then I think that person had that defect in their integrity all along. All they ever lacked was the opportunity to act on their lack of integrity and the circumstances required to rationalize it to themselves.
I'm in a state of anger at the moment. Angry with the fact I was stupid enough to try and kill myself. Im also angry at her for making me want to do it. I have come to realise no matter how dark a place I am in right now, things must go on for the sake of my children. She has been saying she is not leaving me.
I'm in a state of anger at the moment. Angry with the fact I was stupid enough to try and kill myself. Im also angry at her for making me want to do it. I have come to realise no matter how dark a place I am in right now, things must go on for the sake of my children. She has been saying she is not leaving me.
Whether she leaves you or not you have to be in a healthy state of mind for you and the children.
Her commitment to you might not be permanently so you need to get professional help to get over your suicidal thoughts.
__________________ Davelli0331:If a GNO, or alcohol, or an attractive coworker, or a past flame on FB were all that were needed for someone to cheat, then I think that person had that defect in their integrity all along. All they ever lacked was the opportunity to act on their lack of integrity and the circumstances required to rationalize it to themselves.
I'm in a state of anger at the moment. Angry with the fact I was stupid enough to try and kill myself. Im also angry at her for making me want to do it. I have come to realise no matter how dark a place I am in right now, things must go on for the sake of my children. She has been saying she is not leaving me.
well she is not leaving him either... you need to put your foot down for yourself as to not being the doormat. You cannot control people, just control your own actions... so - you know she isnt going to cutt ties with this guy. your choice is to accept the fact and move on or move out and let her have her relationship with this guy. I think the best thing for you to do is move out for the sake of your own emotional state, as from your posts I dont think you can handle sharing your wife, and her continous lies.
she hasn't done what she was supposed to, so you got your answer. Your attemp shows total rejections of her so she came back. once she see you accepting her again, look out dude !!!
I think you need help first. Love God, urself, then wife. You have no selfrespect, no self love, how do you expect her to respect/love you if you don't? Please look @ the 180 plan and get into IC...ur kids need a good solid father.
Mouse
Update: I have been to my doctor and he immediately put me on valium to calm me, only a tempory thing but it seemed to help some what. I told him everything about my past and what has happend within my marriage. I was brutally honest with him about how ashamed I feel and guilty not just for trying to take my own life but also things within the marriage that I feel I could have done to stop this all from happening. I told him I've not been the model husband that I should have been and have on many occations rejected my wifes pleas to be with me or go out with me. This coupled with my wifes fears of rejection and the fact she thought I didnt love her has all grown to make me feel guilty and that I could have prevented this from happening.
Update: I have been to my doctor and he immediately put me on valium to calm me, only a tempory thing but it seemed to help some what. I told him everything about my past and what has happend within my marriage. I was brutally honest with him about how ashamed I feel and guilty not just for trying to take my own life but also things within the marriage that I feel I could have done to stop this all from happening. I told him I've not been the model husband that I should have been and have on many occations rejected my wifes pleas to be with me or go out with me. This coupled with my wifes fears of rejection and the fact she thought I didnt love her has all grown to make me feel guilty and that I could have prevented this from happening.
Has your wife told you what she needs to feel loved? Find out. Does she expect something reasonable? Or is she in capable of feeling loved and therefore she is always looking for someone new to love her?
How much time did you spend weekly with your wife, just the two fo you doing date-like things together? It takes about 15 hours a week couples time to maintain the close emotional attachment that makes a marriage passionate.
I told him I've not been the model husband that I should have been and have on many occations rejected my wifes pleas to be with me or go out with me. This coupled with my wifes fears of rejection and the fact she thought I didnt love her has all grown to make me feel guilty and that I could have prevented this from happening.
So you agree with your wife that each time that she f**ked another man and sucked his di*k, it was your fault, and that you could have prevented this from happening by simply being "the model husband"? What drugs are you on again?
Has your wife told you what she needs to feel loved? Find out. Does she expect something reasonable? Or is she in capable of feeling loved and therefore she is always looking for someone new to love her?
How much time did you spend weekly with your wife, just the two fo you doing date-like things together? It takes about 15 hours a week couples time to maintain the close emotional attachment that makes a marriage passionate.
I Ele, Sadly my attention to her and time spent with her has become less and less. My excuses have ranged from "Im too tired" to "I need to finish what Im doing here first then I'll be with you". I have not spent anywhere near 15hours a week with her doing date like things sadly. I should point out I dont have a social life and neither does she. Our activities at home consist of me sitting doing small projects on the computer and Jess browsing facebook or other things on her phone. The only time spent together is either watching TV, spending time with the kids or having dinner in the same room.
Her requests are reasonable and I can see that.
I Ele, Sadly my attention to her and time spent with her has become less and less. My excuses have ranged from "Im too tired" to "I need to finish what Im doing here first then I'll be with you". I have not spent anywhere near 15hours a week with her doing date like things sadly. I should point out I dont have a social life and neither does she. Our activities at home consist of me sitting doing small projects on the computer and Jess browsing facebook or other things on her phone. The only time spent together is either watching TV, spending time with the kids or having dinner in the same room.
Her requests are reasonable and I can see that.
Why would this be--why are you pulling away from her emotionally? Obviously we don't know you from Adam, but if I had to guess, it's because each time you discover that she's betrayed you, you love her less. All her very selfish actions are hardening you and making you colder toward her. Protecting yourself by withdrawing emotionally is a NORMAL human reaction to someone treating you like SH*T.
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Re: Repost: My Story, Wife Cheated 
