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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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  • 3 Post By Almostrecovered
  • 1 Post By Hope1964
  • 4 Post By lordmayhem
  • 1 Post By Kallan Pavithran
  • 1 Post By Shaggy
  • 1 Post By husbandfool
  • 1 Post By Shaggy

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Old 05-24-2012, 10:44 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default 4 years ago

So 4 years ago, my SO and i where having issues, he worked two jobs, so i only saw him 30 minutes in a day. He ended up going on a trip and i couldn't go. While he was gone i kissed someone else, i immediently called and told him that i had kissed SOMEONE, i told him it was a female friend of mine.. he wasnt upset. When he got home, i told him it wasnt my friend, but that it was a man i kissed. He still wasnt upset. i was upset, because i felt like he didnt care at all. I left that night, went back to familys home. i was so angry that he didn't fight for me that i had sex with that guy...
to this day he doesnt know we had sex.. all he thinks i did was kiss him. my family members throw it in my face every once and while that if he knew the truth we wouldnt be together today still.
i feel like i need to tell him still but its been 4 years, 4 years of getting over the pain. why reopen that insted of punishing myself for the rest of my life?
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Old 05-24-2012, 10:49 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: 4 years ago

sigh

trickle truth strikes again
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Old 05-24-2012, 11:13 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: 4 years ago

Well, I think you should tell him and let the chips fall where they may. You're living a lie.
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Old 05-24-2012, 11:16 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: 4 years ago

How is your relationship now? Has it improved any since then?
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Old 05-24-2012, 11:24 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: 4 years ago

Your name says it all. To get the fresh start you seek you must start with a foundation of trust. The relationship will only fester and die unless you come clean. Staying like it is = death. The only chance is to suck it up and come clean.
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Old 05-24-2012, 11:26 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: 4 years ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by Needsafreshstart View Post
So 4 years ago, my SO and i where having issues, he worked two jobs, so i only saw him 30 minutes in a day. He ended up going on a trip and i couldn't go. While he was gone i kissed someone else, i immediently called and told him that i had kissed SOMEONE, i told him it was a female friend of mine.. he wasnt upset. When he got home, i told him it wasnt my friend, but that it was a man i kissed. He still wasnt upset. i was upset, because i felt like he didnt care at all. I left that night, went back to familys home. i was so angry that he didn't fight for me that i had sex with that guy...
So he's busting his ass working two jobs to provide for you and this is how you repay him?

Read thru the stories on this site. ALL men are upset when their GF/Spouse kisses another men, its just that many men are in denial and don't want to believe that the woman they love would do that, that they try to sweep it under the rug and forget about it. He had this good girl image of you in his mind that he wanted to preserve.

But no, you wanted him to feel pain. Because you wanted to hurt him, you went back to this OM that you kissed and you banged him.

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Originally Posted by Needsafreshstart View Post
to this day he doesnt know we had sex.. all he thinks i did was kiss him. my family members throw it in my face every once and while that if he knew the truth we wouldnt be together today still.
If anything, they should expose you. They throw it in your face because they know he's a decent man and you did something so selfish. You banged another man just because you wanted your BF to be jealous? What kind of stupid reason is that to betray someone?

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Originally Posted by Needsafreshstart View Post
i feel like i need to tell him still but its been 4 years, 4 years of getting over the pain. why reopen that insted of punishing myself for the rest of my life?
So it's ALL about you, and not the potential pain he would feel from your betrayal. Your pain would be NOTHING compared to his pain, and you've been living a lie these past 4 years.
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Old 05-24-2012, 11:34 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: 4 years ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by Needsafreshstart View Post
So 4 years ago, my SO and i where having issues, he worked two jobs, so i only saw him 30 minutes in a day. He ended up going on a trip and i couldn't go. While he was gone i kissed someone else, i immediently called and told him that i had kissed SOMEONE, i told him it was a female friend of mine.. he wasnt upset. When he got home, i told him it wasnt my friend, but that it was a man i kissed. He still wasnt upset. i was upset, because i felt like he didnt care at all. I left that night, went back to familys home. i was so angry that he didn't fight for me that i had sex with that guy...
to this day he doesnt know we had sex.. all he thinks i did was kiss him. my family members throw it in my face every once and while that if he knew the truth we wouldnt be together today still.
i feel like i need to tell him still but its been 4 years, 4 years of getting over the pain. why reopen that instead of punishing myself for the rest of my life?
It was not him to fight for you, but you, you should have fight for him to stay with a lier and cheater that you have become.
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Old 05-24-2012, 12:14 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: 4 years ago

You didn't fight for him. Not at all.
You cheated
You lied.
He didn't jump like you wanted
So you went and had full sex.
And you and your family have lied to him fir years about how absolutely awful you are.

I wish they would tell your husband so he could realize what he has been working those jobs for is not worth his sacrifice. That you don't respect what he has put into the marriage.

Sorry, I've got no way for you to be better, because you haven't any good to stand on here. If you pr husband asked me, I would say divorce her and upgrade to someone who actually loved and respected him.

Seriously, I think your husband needs his freedom from someone who could do what you did.

Btw, are you trickle truthing us too? How many times and how many men have you been with while married to him?

Even now it's all about your pain and your getting over it. Not one concern over his pain being married to someone so selfish and awful.
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Old 05-24-2012, 02:59 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: 4 years ago

Wow! You got angry with him so you slept with some other guy??

What will you do next time you get angry with him? How about if he forgets to take out the garbage next week?

Sorry but, the whole thing seems quite manipulative to me.
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Old 05-24-2012, 03:04 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: 4 years ago

Post and run?
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Old 05-25-2012, 08:53 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: 4 years ago

She's a little like the Bruce Banner of cheating.

"Don't make me angry, you won't like me when I'm angry"
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