i knew so of these replys were going to be harsh.so u guys r saying that either get a divorce or i should let her continue to punish me for 11 more years til were even.
No one here has suggested that you let her continue to punish you until the two of you are even.
For one thing, the two of you will never be “even”. You are the one who broke the marriage with your two affairs. Her actions are in response to the death you dealt to your marriage.
There is a slim, very slim, chance that you can save this marriage and actually go on to have a good marriage after this. It will take years for both of you to get over the pain you have both dealt to each other. You will both have to look deep inside of yourselves to change yourselves.
It sounds like you might be willing to do this. But it’s not clear your wife is. So if you want to save your marriage you will need to talk to your wife and find out if she is willing to stop her games and work on the marriage and fidelity. If she is not, you have nothing to save…your marriage is over.
I admitted my mistakes. I have apologized many times and and the first time i screwed up was before we were married. I never slept with anyone else but pat since we've been married. And dude just because someone is out of Ur league doesn't mean u should bow down either .
Your choice of words is very indicative of your mindset. “Mistakes”.
The affairs were not ‘mistakes’. They were conscious decisions.
Your wife does not care that you were not married to her the first time you cheated, you were living with her hence you were in a committed relationship with her. And the only reason you stayed with her was because she was pregnant. She knows this and does not feel loved by you. To her the affairs confirm that.
You married your wife only because she was pregnant with your baby. You might have come to love her, but this marriage would have never happened had she not been pregnant. There is a HUGE possibility that she now believes that you do not and have never loved her. Have you ever told her that you were going to break up with her until you found out that she was pregnant?
Something has broken in your wife.
She is cheating on you. So tell her that her choice is to either give up all the cheating activity, the lies and go to MC w/you or you will file for divorce.
The only other choice, going on the way it is going is not acceptable.