I am new to this forum and I have come here for answers and advice. My wife and I have been together since Jan 1995. We got married in June of 2000. We have 2 boys, 7 and 13. I am 32 and she is 33. We have some problems with our marriage that are not uncommon but my wife reacts to them in a very destructive way.
In 1998, we split for a while and she went wild. She went out almost everynight. She moved out of the house we were living in but I still took care of my son almost every night. I was the only security he had. This went on for almost 7 or 8 months until she was driving home one night and got a DUI. Soon after that she stopped drinking and we married in 2000.
In, 2004, we encountered some problems and she started hanging out with some younger single people from work. She started going out for drinks after work and the next thing I know she was having an affair. I confronted her about her affair and she told me she wanted out of the marriage. She then starting going out more, at least 3 times per week. This went on for 6-7 months until she called me at 1:00 am and told me her car would not move. I loaded up the kids and drove to the bar to find that her car was wrecked. I noticed a pole in the parking lot that she had hit. She was able to get the car into the street before the wheel finally broke. Soon after that she stopped drinking and partying. SHe broke down and told me she was sorry and that was the worse time in her life and she would never do it again.
About 2 months ago, I caught her flirting with a guy online. She even gave him her phone number. I confronted her about it and the next day she told me she didn't love me anymore and wanted a divorce. She has been drinking again and paryting every weekend. She even goes out on weeknights. Sometimes she will get home at 4:00 am. I have been going to a marriage counselor by myself and she told me that my wife might be an alcoholic and I need to confront her about it. I also found out that she cheated on me again and she has also been chatting with some married men on line and 1 of them is about to leave his wife because of it. I told my wife that I was concerned about her drinking problem and I am not keeping it a secret anymore. I then told her mom, brother, and dad. She found out and told me that she is done with the marriage and is filing for divorce. I told her that she needs to get help because I want my kids to have a mother. Even if she is acting like a horrible mother. She is telling her family that I am lying about everything and I think they believe her.
. My wife did not drink hardly at all when the marriage was good but she drinks alot when we have problems. I don't think I have any support from her family becuase they are very enabling. I told them they can turn a blind eye and deny it and hopefully nothing happens to her or they can try to get her some help.
I attended my first AL-ANON meeting on Saturday so I hope I can learn something at that. She said she filed for divorce on March 16 but have not received any papers yet.
Just a little more history. After BS she pulled 4 years ago, we did not see a marraige counselor but obviously we should have. We tried to reconcile our marriage by ourselves and honestly I never let her affair go and it drove me to depression. The depression was pretty bad the last year.
She had the nerve the other night to blame her actions on my depression. She even said, " you have not been yourself, you gained weight and you did not make an attempt to make yourself attractive to me." What a *****, she was the reason I was depressed in the first place. I did not go cheating on her when she weighed 40 lbs more than she does now.
With all that being said, does anybody know how to write a good GO TO HELL letter?
In 1998, we split for a while and she went wild. She went out almost everynight. She moved out of the house we were living in but I still took care of my son almost every night. I was the only security he had. This went on for almost 7 or 8 months until she was driving home one night and got a DUI. Soon after that she stopped drinking and we married in 2000.
In, 2004, we encountered some problems and she started hanging out with some younger single people from work. She started going out for drinks after work and the next thing I know she was having an affair. I confronted her about her affair and she told me she wanted out of the marriage. She then starting going out more, at least 3 times per week. This went on for 6-7 months until she called me at 1:00 am and told me her car would not move. I loaded up the kids and drove to the bar to find that her car was wrecked. I noticed a pole in the parking lot that she had hit. She was able to get the car into the street before the wheel finally broke. Soon after that she stopped drinking and partying. SHe broke down and told me she was sorry and that was the worse time in her life and she would never do it again.
About 2 months ago, I caught her flirting with a guy online. She even gave him her phone number. I confronted her about it and the next day she told me she didn't love me anymore and wanted a divorce. She has been drinking again and paryting every weekend. She even goes out on weeknights. Sometimes she will get home at 4:00 am. I have been going to a marriage counselor by myself and she told me that my wife might be an alcoholic and I need to confront her about it. I also found out that she cheated on me again and she has also been chatting with some married men on line and 1 of them is about to leave his wife because of it. I told my wife that I was concerned about her drinking problem and I am not keeping it a secret anymore. I then told her mom, brother, and dad. She found out and told me that she is done with the marriage and is filing for divorce. I told her that she needs to get help because I want my kids to have a mother. Even if she is acting like a horrible mother. She is telling her family that I am lying about everything and I think they believe her.
. My wife did not drink hardly at all when the marriage was good but she drinks alot when we have problems. I don't think I have any support from her family becuase they are very enabling. I told them they can turn a blind eye and deny it and hopefully nothing happens to her or they can try to get her some help.
I attended my first AL-ANON meeting on Saturday so I hope I can learn something at that. She said she filed for divorce on March 16 but have not received any papers yet.
Just a little more history. After BS she pulled 4 years ago, we did not see a marraige counselor but obviously we should have. We tried to reconcile our marriage by ourselves and honestly I never let her affair go and it drove me to depression. The depression was pretty bad the last year.
She had the nerve the other night to blame her actions on my depression. She even said, " you have not been yourself, you gained weight and you did not make an attempt to make yourself attractive to me." What a *****, she was the reason I was depressed in the first place. I did not go cheating on her when she weighed 40 lbs more than she does now.
With all that being said, does anybody know how to write a good GO TO HELL letter?