motherof4boys

I posted on here a while back about my husband having an affair. He slept with a girl he knew from high school (10 years ago) and she claimed she was pregnant. Two weeks after she told him she was pregnant, she said she miscarried. After this he told me that he still wanted to be with me if i let him and we started working on things. I had a suspision that they were still talking and when i confronted him he admitted to it. I demanded that he stopped talking to her and he agreed and said he wasnt sure why they had still been talking, that it was nothing but small talk. even showed me the conversation to prove it. It only lasted like 2 days of not talking and they were talking again. He still says he's not sure why but that he has feelings for her and doesnt want to stop talking. He told me that he knows he still loves me but he never expected me to stay with him through all of this, and that he sort of wishes i didnt. I asked him if he wanted to move out and he told me that he had looked at a few houses, because he didnt feel he could fix this living in the same house as me. That he wanted to take the summer and each of us spend some alone time. He told me that if he left it would have nothing to do with her but the fact that he is unhappy. I confronted him about whether or not he loved her too and he said he was unsure. I still want to work this out, we have fun together, our sex life is great, he tells me how our marriage was perfect and there is no excuse for what he did but he feels he has ruined our marriage and theres no way to fix it. He said he would be willing to do marriage counseling, we can't afford it but if it would help keep us together I will figure out a way. As i was looking online though, theres a lot of sites that say marriage counseling doesnt help anyone it just hurts the relationship more.....

Pit-of-my-stomach

No, it will not help you as long as that other women is in your marriage. Usually quite the opposite.

And for the record, your husband is full of sh1t. Everything he is saying is common scripted bullsh1t.

He wants a separation to explore his feelings for her while keeping u as option b.
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motherof4boys

So what do i do? I have tried to let go of him and to try to get it thru my head that I will be alone. He says that we both just need time to ourselves because the last 7 years we have been all about eachother. he wants me to go out and have girls night or go have drinks, etc....but i'm not that type of person. I'd rather just be home with my family. I cry and cry everyday hoping something will change his mind. I even sent her a facebook message asking if she would back off, she told him she wansnt going to talk to him anymore and then the next day started texting again.
I'm not a strong enough woman to go through this. I've already been fighting a very hard case of depression through all of this, and i'm honestly scared for myself if he does leave. I'm scared I wont be able to care for my children.

Maricha75

What do you do? You look him in the eye and tell him that you REFUSE to be his back up. It's either all or nothing. He agrees to fix the marriage or he goes. Don't give him any room to wiggle out of anything.

As for the kids, if he chooses to leave... you will do it. Why? Because they need their mom, plain and simple. If you need meds to help you thru it, so be it. But you can do this. You love your kids, right? You want the best for them, right? Then you can do this, no matter what the outcome. Both of my sisters have divorced, and they were/are strong for their kids. I, on the other hand, chose reconciliation, and that is going well, thus far. But you can do this, no matter what. It's amazing what a person can do when faced with a difficult situation.

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WOW! QFT!! (quoted for truth!)

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